How far would you go to save a friend's life? |
Chapter 5: Hikari’s Gift Marissa “Is that the 1,000 cranes?” I eagerly asked Kari later that week as she sat at her desk in our homeroom class, and lay row upon row of cranes down, that she took out from a big box beside her. “Are you kidding?” she demanded, rummaging in the box for more. “This is just my first 500 and something.” She paused, picking up the box, and letting me look inside. I gasped. “This is 1,000 paper cranes.” she smiled, as I gazed inside. I had never seen so much origami in my life. The cranes were like a rainbow. Every colour, every shade. Dark, light, shiny, illustrious—everything. “My God, it’s amazing!” I exclaimed. Kari grinned. “It’s time we gave them to her.” She said, smiling, kindly. I couldn’t believe it. We had worked so hard. For almost a week. Non stop. Now it was over, and I hoped it could help cheer Angela up. She was so sad now. “Did you visit her at all this week?” I asked, still shaken from all Angela had told me. “No.” Kari replied, guiltily. “I am so busy with coaching the team, and my mother insists I study for the rest of the night…” she hung her head. “I haven’t told my mother about Angela at all. I can’t, you see, her heart is still tender from the death of my father. I couldn’t tell her that I was going to see a classmate who was sick too. I mean that literally, she has a heart condition, and has to be careful of stress…” she trailed off. “But I’ve got my license now, I can drive to the hospital myself.” She continued, repacking the cranes. “Tonight is Friday, anyway. I don’t have to study.” “She’s not doing so well…” I cut in. “The chemo has already made her sick, and….” I trailed off, hating to speak about the terrifying transplant that Angela had told me about. Kari looked over at me, but I decided not to go on. “She is just very sick.” I sighed. Kari looked like she knew I was keeping something from her, but did not ask me further. “Marissa,” she suddenly started to ask me. “Hmm?” I replied. “Would you mind if I gave the cranes to her myself.” She paused, seeming nervous to ask me. "Is that OK?” I shrugged, so she continued. “I’ll of course say you helped, and the rest of the class…” “Its fine with me.” I smiled. “Why should you have to ask?” I continued. “You can visit Angela whenever you want, (well, during visitor hours.), you don’t have to ask me.” “But do you mind that you won’t be there to give her the cranes?” she sounded guilty now. I felt bad. “Of course. It’s fine. I’ll just go see her after school and you can come later, OK?” Kari smiled in reply. The truth was I had wanted to be there to give Angela the cranes, but I understood why Kari asked to be alone. I didn’t protest. “You visit her everyday, don’t you?” she asked me. I looked over at her. “I promised Angela I would visit her every day. That I wouldn’t leave her again….” I trailed off. Kari nodded, knowing that I was referring to when I’d hurt Angela. It made me sick to think about it now. “You’re a good friend, Marissa.” She suddenly said, stopping my self loathing. “Angela is lucky to have you.” She added. “No.” I protested. “I’m not a good friend.” I sighed, looking down. “She has forgiven you right?” I turned to her. “It’s not that she hasn’t forgiven me, it’s that I haven’t forgiven myself.” “You should, Marissa. The guilt will just tear you up inside.” Kari knew about guilt. I had forgotten about that. Was she saying that she had managed to forgive herself too? “You know, Angela told me she thought you were right. That she deserved what you said to her.” She continued, thoughtfully. “What?!” I cried. “She did. She felt bad for lying to you, and making you worry. It’s only normal you would get upset, and Angela understands that.” I continued looking down, seeing Katy, Kari’s own best friend, watching us warily. She’d been acting strange lately. She hardly helped with the cranes, and I had seen Kari arguing with her. I didn’t want to see another friendship fall apart. “I feel distanced from her.” I said, sadly. “Of course you do. She’s sick and living in a hospital. It’s hard for her to act normal, and it’s equally hard for you too.” Kari replied, sympathetically. Katy had stopped watching us now, but I could still feel her cold stare. “But try. Don’t always talk about her illness, especially if she’s feeling ill. Give her something else to think about.” She told me. I sighed, as my only reply. “You love her don’t you?” Kari asked. I glanced up at her, hearing something strange in her tone of voice. “She’s my best friend.” I started. “I care for her deeply…” I trailed off. “Then you should tell her.” Kari insisted. “Tell her what? What are you saying?” I asked, forcefully. “It’s alright, Marissa. I’m not going to make fun of you or anything.” “Make fun of me for what?” I demanded. “Come on, you like her, don’t you? Everybody knows. You don’t have to be ashamed.” Kari continued, gingerly. I dropped the strand of cranes I was holding in disbelief. “You think I like Angela more than a friend? You think I’m gay?” I cried, trying to figure out how she got such a crazy idea. “Well, it’s just that…” she tried to explain, but I had to ask her more. “Angela too? You think she’s gay too?” I demanded. “No, not Angela. No, no, no, no, no.” she insisted, quickly, as if it were the most impossible thing in the world. “So, just me. You think I’m her friend but I want something more? You think why I don’t date any of the guys at our school is because I like girls? Is that it?!” I cried, angrily. “Calm down, Marissa. If you tell me it’s untrue, then it’s untrue. No one is making fun of you. Everybody likes Angela. Girl and boy. But you’re the only one who she will actually talk to. People admire you and your friendship. Nobody else goes to that hospital to see her. You’ve got a strong spirit, and the girls admire you.” Kari smiled at me, and I felt taken aback. I never thought anyone admired me. Especially the girls at our school. But I also couldn’t believe they thought I was gay. I wasn’t. I liked Brian. I had a boyfriend when I was thirteen. It wasn’t serious at all, but… The boys ignored me at school, and I guessed now it was because they thought I was off limit. The realization left me a little dizzy. It was like I’d just come out into another world. All this time, that’s what they thought of me and I never knew. But one thing Kari said I knew was true. Angela was kind to everyone, she had no enemies, but also no boyfriend, no group of friends. Just me. She wasn’t shy with me. She even treated Kari differently. “So it’s not true then.” Kari suddenly said to me. “No.” I shook my head. “I don’t love Angela.” Kari picked up the cranes I’d dropped, and smiled sadly at me. “Then I will tell the others for you. You won’t be burdened with this rumor anymore.” Kari knew who to talk to. How to spread or break a rumor. She was very popular, but unlike Angela, she had the out going personality to go with it. She was a leader. People listened to her. “No, Kari.” I told her. “If they think that caring as much as I do about my best friend means I’m gay, then let them. I will not stop doing all I can for her. I will not stop caring for her. I will always be her friend.” I stated, feeling the familiar tears come to my eyes that I felt every time I thought of the future. “It takes a strong person to do that. You’re very strong, Marissa.” Kari said, seriously. Then suddenly we both noticed Katy watching us again. “What are you doing?” Kari demanded, leaving me with the cranes and coming over to her friend. “You’re acting really strange lately. What’s the matter?” “Nothing.” Katy muttered, looking away. “Well, anyway, come see the cranes!” Kari said happily, taking Katy’s hand. “I bet you haven’t seen anything like them.” She smiled, warmly at her friend. “No, it’s OK. I should be getting to my class.” The girl said, softly. “Kari,” Katy asked, turning to her. “My sister’s having a birthday party for her 21st this weekend. Do you want to come? She said she’d love to see you.” She continued, shyly. Katy was a mix Caucasian and Japanese. She had short, light brown hair that she usually pulled back with a hair-band, and she was very pretty. Her sister, Julie was a model, and there wasn’t any guy at our school who didn’t remember when she’d graced our halls. I couldn’t believe she was twenty-one already. “Whoa, I haven’t seen her forever!” Kari cried. But then she suddenly frowned. “Oh, but Leo already invited me to a party this weekend…” she trailed off. “Shoot!” she shouted. “I was supposed to ask you to come too!” I guessed Leo was Kari’s boyfriend. Katy looked hurt. “I’m sorry, Kates!” Kari cried. “I hardly see you anymore so…. I forgot.” She hung her head. “It’s alright.” Katy brightened up a bit. “Maybe another time.” “I’m sorry, Kates. I’ll make it up to you.” But Katy left the room before Kari had finished. Kari sat back and sighed, and I tried to pretend like I hadn’t seen what happened. “This sucks.” ~ “She’s very sick today, Marissa. It might be best if you come back another day.” Nurse Nikko told me when I passed the nurse’s station on the way to see Angela that day. Angela had been sick every time I’d visited her the last few days. It tore at my heart to see her like this. But I had never been asked to leave, that worried me. “What’s wrong with her?” I asked, shakily. “She just can’t tolerate the chemotherapy. No matter what dosage we give her she gets sick.” The nurse sighed. I breathed a sigh of relief to know it was the same problem and not something worse. “Can I still see her?” I asked. “Yes, I’m just saying she probably won’t be up to doing anything or talking at all.” Nikko explained. “Its alright, I’ll keep her company.” I did my best to smile. “You’re very kind.” The nurse smiled at me. Angela lay in her bed with the blankets off her, and held her stomach. She was pale and her brow was dotted with sweat. A clean basin lay at her pillow incase she needed to be sick. She didn’t even notice when I came in. It was cute little Tomoya who notified her. “Marisha~!” he cried, mispronouncing my name too. Angela slowly looked over at me, and managed to smile, weakly. I tickled Tomoya who giggled uncontrollably, before coming over to her bed. “Hey Angie,” I smiled at her. She waved, but didn’t speak. “Not feeling so well today are you?” I asked, sympathetically. Angela shook her head, looking very sad. “I can’t believe how sick she gets.” Adrian spoke up, looking over from his bed. “No amount of treatment has ever made me as sick as her. Poor Angela.” He said, concernedly. “Kawaii sou, Anjira!” Tomoya cried. Angela looked over at the both of them, and smiled weakly. “Poor, poor Angela.” I looked over to see Arcadies mimicking Adrian. “I told her to eat. But does she listen to me? No!” she muttered, coming over to the bed. “They gave her so many worms. Too many! So up comes the first one, up~ comes the second one, up comes the third little worm~!” The little girl giggled, making the actions from the famous song about eating and bringing up worms. Angela swallowed in, and turned away. Arcadies had probably made her feel worse. “Get out of here, you goon!” I shouted, and gently pushed her back to her bed as she laughed out loud. I brushed back my friend’s long bangs from her sweat covered forehead. “Poor Angela,” I started. “Stuck in Arcadies’ lair.” I looked back at the devilish girl as I said this, and she stuck her tongue out at me. This made Angela laugh a little, but that made her cough, and she covered her mouth. I quickly handed her the basin, and helped her lean over before she was sick. Nikko came in just then, and I stepped back, my own stomach feeling queasy from seeing Angela be sick. “Alright, enough of this, Anjira.” She said, sternly, as she took away the basin and Angela lay back gasping for air. The nurse pulled out a needle from her shirt pocket, and brought it over to the IV that Angela had attached to a catheter in her chest. "This medicine should make you feel much better.” She continued, inserting it into the IV line. I watched, along with Angela, who breathed in heavily. I wondered why they hadn’t given her medicine sooner, but Maria answered that question. “Will this one actually work?” she demanded, as I noticed her for the first time. Her bed had been closed off with the curtain, but she had thrust them open to yell at Nikko. “Let’s hope so.” Nikko replied, tending to Angela still, and not looking up at the girl. “Fine. But jeez, Angela, if you’re gonna throw up go to the bathroom. You’re making me sick.” Maria muttered, angrily. I felt like punching her. Who was she to tell Angela what to do, when Angela could barely move? Who was she to tell her to stop what she couldn’t help? What a horrible girl. “I’m sorry, Maria.” Angela suddenly said the first words I’d heard her say that day. “I just feel so dizzy and sick, I can’t make it to the bathroom.” She paused, continuing as always to be her kind and selfless self. “I’ll try next time, OK?” she continued, smiling at the girl who looked very surprised that Angela wasn’t the least bit angry with her. She wasn’t, but I was. I was about to tell her off, but Nikko beat me to it. “No, Angela, don’t you do that.” She said to Angela who looked confused. “Maria, I don’t want to hear you say anything like that again.” She continued very sternly, turning to the girl. “This is a hospital, and the children here are sick, including those in this room. It is not a hotel where people are going to cater to your every desire. If Angela does not feel well enough to walk, that’s what these basins are for, and you leave her be,” she stated. “Well, why don’t you move me then?” Maria demanded. “I don’t have cancer, why do I have to stay with kids who do?” This made the nurse angrier, along with myself, but I tried not to say anything. “That is where this is like a hotel. NO VACANCIES.” She eyed the girl, who only glared back. She certainly wasn’t scaring her at all. “You should be thankful you don’t have to go through what the kids in this room go through, instead of making fun of them. Do you understand?” she asked. Maria turned away. “Wakatta!” Tomoya shouted, suddenly. Nikko turned and smiled wryly at her little boy. “Not you.” She told him, and he giggled. When she turned back to Maria she had pulled the curtain back and was laying in her bed with her back turned toward the nurse. “I don’t know what to do with that girl.” She sighed, coming back over to Angela and me. “Don’t be too hard on her, Nikko.” Angela said, sounding a bit stronger now. “She’s probably frightened. I couldn’t imagine being here and going through all those test and not knowing why. It must be awful for her.” She looked over at Maria’s closed off bed as she said this. “Oh Angela, what am I going to do with you?” the nurse said to her, smiling warmly. “You’re the angel in room 904, and yet you let these kids get away with anything. You have to stand up for yourself.” She told her. “I will.” Angela promised. “When I truly believe that someone or myself has been wronged.” She smiled, and Nikko ruffled her hair. “Well, hopefully this medicine will help you, Anji.” Nikko said, hopefully, picking up the basin from the bedside table. “I’ll go wash this for you, and let you spend some time with poor Marissa, who’s only heard our arguing tonight.” She smiled at us, than turned to leave. “Mommy~!” Tomoya suddenly shouted, which of course, startled the nurse, and her back tensed up as she gripped the basin trying not to let it fall. “Bye-bye, sweetie.” She turned to him, and smiled through clenched teeth. Tomoya giggled, and waved back. I couldn’t help but laugh, and so did Angela. “You’re an evil one.” I grinned at him, than turned to Angela. “Are you feeling better? You look much better now.” I told her, noticing the sweat had lessoned, and she had regained some colour in her face. “Yeah, maybe that was it for the night.” She smiled. “Its all thanks to Arcadies’ worms.” She turned to the little girl who made a silly face. “You’re too good.” I mumbled. Angela turned back to me, and sat up more in her bed. “Marissa, tell me what’s been happening in school. Tell me everything.” She asked me, eagerly. I wondered what I was supposed to tell her. School hadn’t been very interesting without her, and I couldn’t tell her about the cranes… I was also lonely. She was my only friend, so I had nothing to share with her. But then I thought of something. “Do you remember Julie, Katy Tsukino’s sister?” I asked her, although I doubted anyone had forgotten Julie. “Yes, I heard she’s modeling in the States now.” Angela replied. “Yeah, but she’s coming home this weekend. Its her 21st birthday.” Angela’s eyes widened. “Julie’s twenty-one!? I can’t believe she’s already 21!” “Yeah, I couldn’t believe it either. Katy was talking about it at school today. She invited Kari to the party, but I wonder how many students will crash it.” I grinned. Angela laughed, softly. “All the boys had a crush on her. They’ll probably all show up at Katy’s doorstep.” “Katy onne-chan~!” Tomoya did his usual one word cut in. “Do you know her too, Tomo-kun?” Angela asked him. “Katy wa Kari onne-chan no Otomodachi~!” Blank stare. “Katy izu Kari’s furiend!” he translated. “You are very popular with the ladies aren’t you?” Angela smiled. “Alright, what does onne-chan mean?” I asked, hearing the word too many times now. Angela laughed. “I haven’t just been a patient at this hospital. I’m also a student learning Japanese.” She smiled at Tomoya and I. “Onne-chan means older sister. I used to call Nikko, Nikko-onne-chan.” I still didn’t get it. “But Nikko isn’t your sister, and Kari and Katy aren’t Tomoya’s sisters.” I protested. Angela laughed again. “No, no, Marissa! Onne-chan is also a term of affection to a girl who is older then you. There is also Onii-chan for a boy older then you.” She explained, giggling. I still felt a little confused. “Marisha-onne-chan!” Tomoya shouted. I picked him up, and held him in my arms, quickly falling in love with the exceptionally cute, and happy three-year-old boy who was just as sick as my best friend. “Tomoya-onii-chan.” I grinned at him, and then both him and Angela burst out laughing. “Noooooo~!” Tomoya shouted, patting my shoulders. “What?” I turned to Angela who was trying not to laugh anymore. “Marissa are you two years old? Maybe one ne?” she giggled looking over at Tomoya. “Ne!” he mimicked. I face-faulted. “Oh yeah, that means older brother.” I mumbled, blushing as Tomoya decided to push in my face for some reason Angela was still laughing, and it made me feel good to see her happy again. (Even if it were at the expense of my own stupidity.) I held Tomoya closer so he’d stop pinching my face, and laughed too. I wished it could go on forever. The three of us happy and laughing. But I had to leave soon because I’d promised Kari I’d leave before dinner time. I felt so bad to tell them I had to leave. Angela was sorry to hear I had to go because I had homework, (what a lame excuse), and Tomoya grabbed my leg and wouldn’t let go. “Tomo-kun, let Marissa go. She has to go home.” Angela smiled. “Noooooooooo~~!” he cried. “I’ll come back tomorrow, I promise.” I told him, feeling tender to have this little boy love me enough not to let me go. I started to feel angry at Kari for making me leave so soon that day. But when I saw Angela’s bright smile, I knew she’d be just as happy to see Kari who would give her the gift we had all work so hard on. Finally Arcadies managed to yank Tomoya off of me, and he jumped on Angela’s bed and waved at me. “Ooooh” he suddenly said, and I turned back to him. “A worm~!” he grinned, and everyone leaned in to see. It was a gummy worm. “Ah! Angela, you haven’t finished your worms~!” Arcadies shouted, pointing at her. Angela smiled, wryly, and ruffled the girl’s hair. “Mazui!” Tomoya then decided to throw the worm at me. “Alright, if that’s what you think of me, I’m leaving!” I said, feigning anger. “Bye-bye!” Tomoya and Arcadies said. “Bye Marissa, thank you for coming.” Angela smiled at me, her bed crowded with both kids now. Another worm was flung at me, but this time I caught it and stuffed it in my mouth, grinning. “I eat worms too!” I shouted, and walked away, hearing the laughter from everyone in the room behind me. Everyone that is, but Maria. Who, not to mine, or anyone’s knowledge, lay curled up in her bed by the window, her tears covering her pillowcase. ~ Hikari “Are those for me, Hikari-chan?” Nikko asked Kari as she walked cautiously down the oncology hall holding all 1,000 cranes now tied together with a giant ribbon, and Marissa’s golden-caramel one hung at the top. “Back off, Nikko,” Kari said, playfully. “You know who they’re for.” She grinned, and showed it off to all the children who poked their heads out of their rooms to see the 100s of paper ornaments. Kari wished she could make one for them all. “Why doesn’t anyone ever make me cranes? I like cranes.” Nikko mumbled. “Teach Tomoya.” Kari replied. “OK, where should I start? After he turns my first fold into a wing, or a nose for an airplane?” she asked, sarcastically. “All he wants to make are planes and fly them all over the hospital.” Kari laughed, but felt sad the little boy no longer could fly his planes outside like most children his age. “Well, anyway you’ll find Angela in good spirits tonight. Marissa came and they all ate worms.” The nurse smiled. “Um, OK…” Kari said, warily, and crept away. Kari came into the room doing her best to hold the cranes behind her back. They were actually quite heavy. She found the always popular Angela surrounded by all the children in the room, save for the bitter young girl Maria, who’s curtains were closed. Arcadies was sitting on Adrian’s bed with him, and little Tomoya was cutting out pieces of paper as he stood by Angela’s bed who smiled at him. Her long hair was braided, and flowed down her chest in waves. Beside her right arm laying on the pillow was a cut out ‘wing’ made from two pieces of light blue paper taped together so that it was very long, and had intricate drawings of feathers on it that Kari could only guess Adrian must had drawn because it was much too detailed for the younger children. They were making Ethereal Angela wings. Different then the winged backpack she wore. These were real. “Have I earned my wings yet?” Angela asked, smiling. “Chocho omachi kudasai.” Tomoya said, concentrating very intensely on his cutting. “I think that means you have to wait.” Said Adrian, grinning. Angela smiled back and then turned where Kari stood just watching them in awe. She loved little Tomoya. She had babysat him since she was fourteen and he was only a baby. She couldn’t believe he had leukemia now and was in a hospital where his own mother worked. And he was still happy. She watched him cheerfully cut out the wings and hand them to Adrian who indeed drew the feathers. “Oh, is that you, Kari?” Angela asked when she noticed her. “Kari onne-chan!” Tomoya shouted, and he dropped what he was doing and jumped on Kari who had to drop the cranes behind her. “Tomoki!” Kari purposely said the little boy’s name wrong as a game. “Noooo~!” he cried. “Hello Kari.” Angela said, smiling. “I’m glad to see you again.” Kari felt guilty then, for not visiting Angela very much. She just had no time. “Hey Angela, how are you?” Kari asked her as Tomoya clutched at her neck. Angela tired to sit up, but Arcadies pushed her back down. “You can’t get up! You’ll ruin the wings!” she shouted. “Sorry, sorry!” Angela said, quickly. “I’m feeling really good tonight, thanks, Kari.” She added, caught between speaking with Kari and the children. Kari smiled. Then suddenly she felt something hit her in the face, and she cried out. “Ouch~!” “Ippai tsuru! Ippai, ippai!” Tomoya shouted, and Kari realized it had been his foot that hit her in the face, and he was hanging over her shoulders marveling at the cranes. She was glad no one else spoke Japanese. She brought Tomoya down quickly, before he could spoil the surprise. “It’s a surprise, Tomo-kun. Wait OK?” she held his shoulders and spoke the little boy’s language so it would be clear. “Un.” He nodded, smiling. Kari smiled too. “No fair, Kari, you can actually understand him.” Angela said. Kari grinned. “He’s said ‘Ippai’ a lot before.” Adrian commented. “I think it means something like lots, or many.” “Bingo!” Kari exclaimed, bringing her hand up like a pistol, and winking. “Well, what do you know, I’m starting to understand the little guy.” Adrian said, grinning. “Ippai tsuru, tsuru!” Tomoya cried, but Kari covered his mouth. “Come here, Tomo, and finish my wings!” Angela called to him. “Oooh~ Hai!” he shouted, and ran back over to the bed, picking up the scissors and paper and setting himself back to work. Angela, Adrian and Kari laughed. “Looks like you’re having a good time here, Angie.” Kari said. “It seems so.” She agreed, softly. Kari tried to think of the best way to present Angela with the cranes. She hadn’t expected her to be playing with the children. Hadn’t Marissa told her Angela was very sick? She sure didn’t look it. So she just came right out and said it. “Well, since you’re going to be staying here awhile, your classmates and I thought we’d give you a little decoration for your room.” Kari smiled, and quickly pulled the set of cranes out from behind her back. “Hora~!” she said in Japanese to catch Tomoya’s attention. “Tsuru! Tsuru! Ippai tsuru~!” he cried yet again. “Whoa… that’s a lot of …” Arcadies started to say. “Tsuru.” Adrian finished, unable to properly pronounce the word. Angela was speechless. “Is that…?” she started, slowly, gazing in awe at the many, many paper cranes that even Kari hadn’t seen before she had put it together that week. “How many…” she changed her mind, and Kari smiled. “One thousand cranes.” She replied. “Cranes that live for one thousand years…” she paused, expecting Angela to ask what she meant. “I know the story.” Angela said, her voice shaky. “I read it when I first got sick. I tried to make them but I was just too sick from the chemotherapy.” Angela seemed overwhelmed. It was a good reaction. “Well, you don’t have to worry now. All your classmates helped make this for you, like at the end of the story.” She said, immediately feeling bad, because the girl in the story dies at the end, and her classmates finish the rest. Way to go, Kari… she thought to herself. “Sadako-chan didn’t have chemotherapy to make her ill.” She said, seriously. “And she didn’t have chemotherapy to save her life.” Angela added. Kari grew silent. She remembered how much her father had hated the painful medicine for his cancer, and that Marissa had told her Angela was having a hard time of it, but still she believed in the treatment that would save her life. “You’re so positive, Angela. Gambatte.” Kari couldn’t help but say in Japanese, as there wasn’t really an English equivalent. “Gambatte~!” Tomoya shouted. “Um, thank you…?” Angela said, not understanding them. Kari laughed, but did not explain the meaning. “Arcadies, honey, can I get up now? I want to see the cranes.” Angela asked the little girl again. “Oh, fine.” She muttered, and Angela sat up in her bed as Kari brought the decorative paper cranes over to her. She reached out and held one strand that had mostly been created by Marissa. “They’re beautiful.” She said. “Marissa made most of those.” Kari told her. “She worked really hard on this for you.” She smiled. “God bless her.” Angela said, surprising Kari with how adult-like she talked. “And you too.” She looked back up at Kari. “Thank you too.” Kari felt vain to say the first 500 were all made by her, so she decided to let Angela believe it was completely a class effort. Because Marissa,--her best friend--had made the most next to herself. Marissa, who’d never made one before, and memorized the complex folds by looking in a book. “I love this gold one at the top.” Angela said. “Oh, that’s the special one. Like in the story, Sadako’s friend makes her the first golden crane.” Kari began to explain, knowing the story all too well, because her parents were from Hiroshima, and her grandmother was actually alive during the bombing. “Marissa made that one out of a Caramilk bar.” She smiled. “Wow, chocolate~! I wanna smell it!” Arcadies shouted, not remembering eating chocolate since she was four years old. “Yummy~!” she cried, as she breathed it in. “Yummy~!” Tomoya copied her, smelling the wing. Then finally Angela was able to lean down and smell the little chocolate crane. Kari hoped that the sweet smell wouldn’t bother her upset stomach. “It smells good.” Angela smiled. She was OK. “Guess who made that one.” Kari pointed to the drink wrapper crane. Angela shook her head. “Ben Alder.” Kari grinned. “‘For the sick girl.’” She lowered her voice and imitated what he had said to Marissa. Angela smiled brightly, her eyes sparkling. “I did not even think he knew me…” “Everyone knows you, Angie. You’re kind and pure. That’s why they all helped make this for you.” Kari told her, seriously. “It’s wonderful.” Said Angela, ignoring the compliment, and continuing to sound overwhelmed. “What about you? Which ones are yours?” she asked. Kari pointed to a strand she had helped with that week. “But I don’t think I can count how many Marissa made you.” She added, giving Marissa most of the credit. She really deserved it. Angela smiled, and looked down. “I’m so lucky to have such good friends like you and her.” She said. Kari smiled. “Tsuru tsukuritai~!” Tomoya suddenly shouted, interrupting the two girls. “I thought you didn’t like making cranes.” Kari said, wryly. “Tsukuritai!” Tomoya shouted back. Angela giggled. “What about you, Arcadies? Do you want to make one too?” she asked, turning to the little girl who was sitting with Adrian watching them wide-eyed. “Yeah~!” she cried. “Tsuru tsukuritai! Tsukuritai yo~!” Tomoya repeated. Soon the children were all busy making their own paper cranes using the paper that Kari had left over form her own origami. She helped Angela, who struggled with the complex folds, and was surprised at how well Adrian, who’s hands always shook, folded the paper perfectly even. Angela said she had never been very good at it, so Kari felt even happier that she had helped make Angela her own strand of 1,000 cranes. Tomoya was a pro. Kari couldn’t wait to show Nikko, and she told the little boy to give one to his mommy. He nodded, eagerly. Arcadies got the hang of it after her friend, Adrian helped her out. Even Maria seemed interested, because she pulled back her curtains, and demanded what everyone was doing. Kari asked if she wanted to make one too, and handed the girl a piece of the colourful paper. But Maria just scoffed, and hid behind the curtain again. Kari made many cranes, able to quickly make them because of the months of practice she had had making over 500 cranes for her father and now Angela too. The next morning every child on Angela’s side of the oncology ward woke up to find their very own paper crane outside their door. Kari couldn’t make one for the entire ward, that as sad as it is for a child to have cancer, spread far down the hall. But the children who had seen her 1,000 cranes with stars in their eyes, each received one of their very own. This was Hikari Tanabata’s first and last gift to Angela, and the children inside the cancer ward. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Marissa I was running late for school that day. I’ll always remember that. The flag was lowered outside my high school entrance, as I trudged through the rainy weather alone, without having Angela to walk with me for a whole week now. The schools lowered the national flag when someone had died. They lowered it when a famous politician died, when Princess Diana was killed, and when one of the science teachers at our school suddenly passed away. My heart pounded, right away thinking about my desperately ill friend. But it passed. Francesca would have told me if anything happened to Angela, and I had just seen her the day before. She was fine. Her stomach was still a mess, but she was fine. Still, no one famous had died that I knew of, it had to be one of the staff, or worse, one of the students at our school. A shiver ran up my spine. I made it to my class just as the morning announcements started. Immediately I knew something was wrong. Almost all the students were gone. There were only a few girls left looking just as confused as me. The missing girls included Katy, Kari, and of course, Angela, besides the members of the girl’s volleyball team that resided in my homeroom class. A few boys were gone too. Something was definitely wrong, and it seemed like most of my own class already knew what it was. “Good morning staff and students.” I suddenly heard the deep, booming voice of our principal, Mr. Soeur, over the speaker near the front of the classroom. All ears were on that speaker, hoping to find out what had happened. Our teacher only put his hand to his head, and turned away. “This morning I am sorry to have to report some very sad news.” The voice said, and I suddenly felt the same sickness as when I’d first seen Angela in the ICU. I was standing up still, but I had to reach for the desk to steady myself. “One of our students passed away this weekend.” My mouth went dry, and I felt even more faint as the other students looked around. Who was it? Why was half my class missing? Was it someone in my own class? The principal soon answered that tragic question, and I couldn’t believe what he said. “Hikari, better known as ‘Kari’ Tanabata was involved in a car accident last Saturday night.” I covered my mouth, sure I was going to be sick, as I collapsed into my chair. Kari was… Kari was… She was… Oh God… It couldn’t be. “Several other girls were injured, and the driver walked away without a scratch, but Kari was tragically killed instantly…” the principal went on to say, but I could hardly hear it from the clouds in my mind that accompanied my disbelief, and the sobbing of the few students left around me. Both boy and girl. Some had run out of the classroom in tears, but I didn’t think I could even move from my seat. I couldn’t believe it. Kari couldn’t be dead. She couldn’t be. I had just seen her on Friday. She had given Angela the cranes. She made one for the rest of the patients. She was good and kind. She was only sixteen! It took awhile for me to notice the tears on my face, as I heard the others crying around me. I didn’t want to cry. I thought if I cried it would be true. I wouldn’t be able to deny it any longer. But the tears were there, and Kari really was gone. She was my friend, and she was dead. And my best friend was in a battle for her life. It couldn’t be happening. It was too much. “There will be a private family service for Kari this morning, but an open service will be held at St. Marc’s Anglican church tomorrow, as Kari’s own beliefs differed from her family. The official funereal will be Tuesday, and everyone is welcome to pay your respects.” The principal said. I didn’t think I could listen to him anymore. It was too real. A funereal. A funereal for Kari. Oh God…Oh God…Oh God… My breaths came faster, and I found myself hyperventilating. I couldn’t breathe. I had to get out of there. Kari and Katy’s empty seats were right in front of me. The class’s tears drowned out my own. Kari! I bent my head down on my desk and sobbed into my arms, joining the rest of the class. One girl came to comfort me, saying how terrible it must be for me because my only two friends were gone. I cried harder, as the girl named Sandy, rubbed my back. Angela wasn’t gone… I told myself. Kari was. But not Angela. Not Angela… “This tragedy was unfortunately a result of drunk driving. The driver had been drinking, and ran into a tree. The accident could have been avoided, and Kari would still be alive today.” The principal kept talking, although most students weren’t listening as they cried. But I heard that. And I didn’t believe it for a second. Kari would never be stupid enough to accept a ride from a drunk driver. Even her boyfriend Leo, who went to another school, and I could only guess was the driver that caused her death. It had to be wrong. It had to be. She didn’t purposely put herself in danger. She was smarter then that. “I want all of you to think about that the next time you’re at a party, and thinking of either driving or accepting a ride after you or the driver has been drinking.” “Kari…” I kept crying, the principal’s message tearing my heart up. “Kari…” “Kari was a smart and talented girl who was well-known at this school for her outgoing personality, fantastic volley ball skills as the captain of the girl’s team, and kindness, as I have been informed she organized a group effort to create a gift for another one of our students who has fallen on bad times-- Angela Michelli. She will be greatly missed.” That was it, I couldn’t stay there anymore. Angela, Kari. The principal mentioned them both. It was too much for me. “Don’t wait until it’s too late to apologize. Do it now.” Kari’s voice, the advice she had given me, floated through my mind as I ran down the halls heading for the exit. “I was thinking of asking the 10th graded class to help me finish the 500 cranes and give them to Angela…” she smiled in my mind. “It takes a strong person to do that. You’re very strong, Marissa…” These were the last words she’d said to me, I realized, as I reached the doors and pushed them open. She went to see Angela, and then the next day she went to that party and was killed. She was killed. The words turned my stomach, and I sank down against the door, and buried myself in my knees. “Why did you have to die? Why you? I just got to know you. Angela just got to know you… Angela….” I sobbed, but stopped at the name of my best friend. What was I going to tell Angela? How could I ever tell her? “Kari!” I cried into the rain. “Kari….” But all that answered me was a blast of thunder in the distance. ~ “Have you heard about Hikari-chan?” Nikko asked me when I trudged off the elevator on the oncology floor that day. I looked up at her, and she could figure out my answer by the sadness in my eyes. I didn’t have to say anything. The nurse sighed. “She was such a wonderful girl. Its so sad.” She said her eyes tearing up, which made me want to do the same. “My Tomoya loved her. I haven’t had the heart to tell him. He has enough problems.” She continued, looking away. “What about Angela? Have you told Angela?” I asked, hoping she had. Hoping I would have to be the one to make her cry. To cause her more pain then she was already suffering. “No, Marissa.” The nurse replied, and I leaned back against the wall, breathing out, heavily. “I have known since Sunday night, honey, and as you know Angela has been well since Friday. Neither her aunt or I want to tell her and upset her when she’s doing so well.” She explained. “So you’re just going to lie to her? Leave her waiting to see Kari forever?!” I cried, tears coming to my eyes. “No, of course not, Marissa.” Nikko assured me. “But Angela has lost a lot in her life, and it’s made her emotionally unstable. She became very ill when her mother died, and this was before she even had leukemia. When she lost her father she was already losing her battle with her cancer, and she would’ve died if her aunt hadn’t taken her here.” She finished, and I bit my lip, overwhelmed by my friend’s past suffering, and the tragedy of today. “Actually we thought it would be best if she heard it from you. You were all friends.” She paused, and I felt sick again. I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t. I was just a kid, and I was hurting too. “If you can’t, it’s alright. I can tell her.” Nikko took my hand, and I looked up at her, feeling my tears full down my cheeks. She reminded me so much of Kari. They had the same thick black hair, same slanted, exotic eyes, and the same high cheekbones. How I wanted to see her again. I wanted her to be here. To tell her how kind it was of her to make the children their own cranes. She was so kind. She had saved mine and Angela’s friendship. She had trusted us with her most private secret, showing me the error of my ways. “It’s a terrible burden for you, but I think Angela would be able to accept it if you told her. Although I’m sure she will suffer psychological stress, she might not have as many problems as she has had in the past.” The nurse told me, and I gripped my hands together. If I could save her from just a little pain, maybe I could find the courage to tell her. That was all I wanted. My friend to stop being in pain. Kari’s death would cause her pain, but I’d be there for her. Grieving Kari along with her. But could I really be the one to tell her? ~ She was looking at the cranes when I came in. Nikko had told me she had taken the other children to the playroom so we could have some privacy. She was staring by the window, her back toward me, wearing a long sweater, and loose hanging light blue pants, much like the nurse’s scrubs. Her long hair tumbled down her back, and she suddenly turned around, a smile on her face that seemed a little thinner each day I saw her. “I can’t stop looking at them.” She smiled at me, skipping past the ‘hellos’ and ‘how are yous’. I could tell she was well just by looking at her. And me, I hoped she didn’t see the grief I’d been trying to hide from her. “I want to count them. See all the colours one by one, but I don’t think I have the time.” She continued, softly. I swallowed in, not even wanting to think of what she meant by that. She spoke of her illness nonchalantly, when any mention of the word ‘cancer’ or ‘leukemia’ clutched at my heart. I wished I could be as strong as her. I always would. I came over to the cranes with her, and held a long strand in my hand. Angela’s hand was right next to mine, and it was the first time I’d noticed how thin ever her hands were. “I can’t believe you all made this in only a week.” She said, confusing me. “We didn’t, Angie.” I replied, realizing it was the first words I’d spoken to her since I came in, and my voice was hoarse and shaky. She turned to me. “Didn’t the whole class help make this for me?” she asked, so innocently, so unaware of what I was going to tell her. “Yes, but we only finished the last 500.” I told her. “The last? Who made the first?” “Kari.” I stated, my voice breaking. She looked up at me, her eyes focusing on my own, studying them intensely. I looked away as I helplessly felt the tears come down my cheeks. But she missed them. She looked down at the cranes again, and I rubbed at my eyes. “These are the cranes she made for her father…” she said, surprising me that she knew that. She was almost clairvoyant sometimes, the way she knew things right away, and spoke about them as if she was being informed from somewhere far away. She looked down again, and I was surprised to see tears at her own eyes as she held up the long strand of cranes Kari had made with my golden one at the top. Then she turned to me, tears coming down her face. “What did I ever do to deserve such wonderful friends like you and Kari?” she asked me, tearfully. I grabbed her in a hug then, holding her tightly, although I was afraid I’d crush her with how thin she had become. “Angie!” I cried, letting my tears come, finally. “Oh, Angela…” I sobbed. She was surprised, and hadn’t been holding me back at first, but then she shakily put her arms around me. “Angie, I have to tell you something.” I started, gently pushing her back, and holding her shoulders as I looked down at her. “What is it?” she asked, sounding frightened. She knew it was bad. She knew. “Something happened this weekend.” I started, shakily, and Angela looked at me closer. “There was an accident,” I continued, unable to imagine what must be going through my friend’s head, as Kari had died the same way her father had, and while she was being treated for leukemia. It was like she was being forced to relive some of the most terrible times of her life. “It’s Kari, Angie…” I tried to tell her as straightly as I could, but just saying Kari’s name pierced my heart. Angela’s eyes widened, and I saw her swallow in. “She was killed in a car crash on Saturday.” I followed told her, and it was through a veil of tears. And Angela did the one thing I was afraid she would do. She collapsed to her knees. “Angie!” I cried, bending down beside her, and gripping her shoulders. She had her head bent down, her long hair came down around her shoulders. “It’s not true…” she practically whispered. I let go of her, and had no idea how to help her through her denial. I wasn’t sure that even I had stopped being in denial. Then she looked up at me, and grabbed my shoulders, tears streaming down her face. “Tell me it’s not true!” she cried. “Marissa, please!” she begged of me, breaking my heart. But all I could do was hold on to her, and cry right along with her. “I’m so sorry, Angie.” I said, clutching her back that shook with her sobs. “It was a drunk driving accident. The car hit a tree. She was killed instantly.” “No!” she cried out. “Please no.” She let go of me and dug her fingers into the floor, clutching it for dear life. “Hikari!” she screamed, using Kari’s real name, a name I had never called her. Angela leaned over and cried then. There was nothing I could do. I felt helpless as I saw her thin hands shake, her tears trail down the floor. I reached out my arm, and rubbed her frail back as Sandy had done for me that day. It was all I could do as I silently cried too. She gripped her hands into fists, scrunching her eyes closed, as her tears came down. “I-I can’t believe it.” She said. “Why?” I couldn’t answer her. ‘Why’ was what I had asked myself too many times too. “She was my friend.” She sobbed. “She was mine too.” I replied, my own tears choking me up. “Marissa,” she turned to me, and it broke my heart to see how tortured she was, her illness and this sadness had ravaged her happy and pure expression. “You don’t have to have cancer to die young, do you." ~~~~~Tomoya's Glossary Part 2~~~~ Japanese Kawaii sou~ Poor (Angela) Wakatta~ Understood wa~ is no~ apostrophe S (Katy's) Otomodachi~ friend (honourific form) Onii-chan~ elder brother, affectionate term for elder boy. Mazui~ Disgusting "Chocho omachi kudasai" ~ Please wait Ippai~ many tsuru~ crane hai~ yes Gambatte~ (to be revealed in later chapter) tsukritai~ I want (to make) "Tsuru tsukritai"= "I want to make a crane!" furiend~ mispronounciation of friend |