Journal

right now

merry christmas. one holidays one of the most boring holidays of the year if you aren't christian.everyone had to go to church last night and there is no polite way to call people. OK, i should probably mention a couple important things. At thebegining of this month, there was a big speech and debate tournment, for the first time since march i was able to pertisipate, i got third place lincoln douglas debate!!! yay!!!! i tied with last year's 2nd place state champ!!!! awsome huh??? i thought so......... the next day i got sixth in impromptu?????? yupppppppp me. this is my journal i'm going to brag all i want. ok i am done. so i should go before that. the day before the tournment i was stressed out, i had to work on my case,poetry and everything else in the world. at lunch i went to my car as usual, started to drive home. halfway there i noticed something under my windshield wipper, at home i saw that it was a cd. hm. i thought it was probably some kind of research thing but when i looked at it there was a slip of paper that said "track 7" so i put it to that track, it was a slow song with a piano, then it said things like you were always there something like there is only one thing to give and i give my heart to you. it was seriouly one of the sweetest things i've heard. halfway through the song i looked back at the note the other side said "forgive my stupidity" at about then i guessed who it was i turned it to see if there was anying else and there it was "i love you" ohmygoodness. how could it be him? he told me that he didn't believe in it. omg could it be him? how did i feelabout that? he toldme when we broke up that getting a lapdance from the girls wasn't wrong. it was a hard break up. we hadn't said i love you to each other but i had the sneaking sespision that iwas in love. but iwould have beenfine . i was fine. how could he do this? did he expect me to just like that go back to him. as i said it was the day before an important tournment so i decided not to deal with him. the next day i left a note in his room telling him that my family was out of town and he could come and make me pancakes and we could talk. i did well at the tournment. then that daycould came and we talked. its not that importantbut we are together again. now how to break this to my friends..... jeezei am very nervous about that because they didn't approve the first time theywon't probably now after he hurt me. oh well i g2g..... happy holidays!!!!!!!!!