Personal Journal

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I'm back.
The road trip went smoother than my fears, although I'm glad I'm back early. Bad weather across Kansas and Missouri tomorrow - that's where I was supposed to be. But I'm back two days early.
Why?
Well, I wa sitting in a nice hotel in Maryland. I'd just spent the day at Jeff's store. Jeff is a man I met last year who re-introduced me to miniatures, and I was down in Maryland to show him my painting skills, and to play him a game.
I was sitting in the hotel room after watching a movie, and an unrest hit me. A loneliness that was audible, loud. I think that was my soul forcing its sensory data into one of my physical senses.
And I felt like I was in a box.
So I walked around outside in my leather jacket (it does bring me a sense of bearing and comfort, which I think I couldn't find anywhere else right now), and the sense of being in a box disappeared.
I saw lights shining into the night sky over a far horizon, Baltimore probably. And I didn't escape the loneliness of not having Jean. I identified it, I cried, and I had to call Joyce to talk to her about it. It was about 10 p.m. there, and we talked for 10 minutes, and she listened and I knew she understood, and I was able to go to sleep.
But I knew I had to leave Maryland, since Jeff couldn't play me a game until Monday. So Sunday I got to Southern Illinois, and today I got home after 14 hours of driving, broken intermittently by a feeble bladder filled with too much coca-cola.

I am home, and I'm smoking a little weed because 14 hours on the road by yourself creates some stress.

It is never too late to be what you might have been. -- George Eliot
Courage to start and willingness to keep everlasting at it are the requisites for success. -- Alonzo Newton Benn