Personal Journal

CTHD

I watched Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon tonight. It's the fourth time I've seen it, the last time was with Jean on one of her first visits here to Colorado.

She cried at the sadness of the tale. She hated stories with unhappy endings. CTHD has a very hard to accept, unhappy ending. Jean never wanted to see the movie again. I thought it was beautiful. A gloriously heart-wrenching tragedy.

If Jean and I were given a choice as to who would live alone without the other, we both would have understood that it was I who could stand this pain, who could bear to live on. She would never have been the same if it were me who was gone.

These are the last words spoken by one of the characters in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. I never noticed them so powerfully until tonight.

"I would rather be a ghost, drifting by your side as a condemned soul than enter heavan without you. Because of your love, I will never be a lonely spirit."

I know that god is talking to me tonight. I just don't understand what' he is trying to say.