The Ethereal Friendship

A Lesson in Goodbye

Chapter 6: A Lesson in Goodbye

         I could say that school was cancelled the next day. I didn’t think anyone was there. They all were at the funereal.
         The church was huge, and all the pews were filled with classmates, family, and friends of all different ages to Hikari Tanabata. There were even children. But not Tomoya. I wondered if he even knew yet. At the front of the church was the casket decorated with all kinds of flowers, and one particularly beautiful picture of Kari was set up on a table beside it. She wore a white dress, and was smiling brightly, holding a purple flower as her long, black hair fell over her shoulders. I stood in front of the picture, and gazed at it. She was so pretty, and her kindness showed through in this picture. I couldn’t believe she was gone. I couldn’t believe she was in that casket now, no longer full of life.
         No longer alive at all.
         Tears came to my eyes as I looked at the picture that was all that was left of my friend. I would never see her again. Angela was my best friend, but with her in the hospital I had felt empty and alone. Kari had been the one to fill that emptiness for me. She had been mine and Angela’s friend when we had nobody. She stopped me from hurting Angela, and we might not even exist as friends any longer if it hadn’t had been for her.
         I saw Katy sitting by herself at a pew, and she was holding on to a star shaped pillow, hugging it to her chest. My heart ached for her. My best friend had cancer, but her best friend was dead. What could that possibly be like? I prayed I would never know. This would be my first and only lesson in goodbye. I’d learned how much it hurt already. I didn’t need another test.
         I came and sat beside Katy, a little nervously, because I really didn’t know her very well.
         “I have one that’s shaped like a moon.” She suddenly said.
         “What?” I asked, but then the service started, drowning out our conversation in a flood of tears.
~
         Many students left before the burial. Maybe they didn’t have a way of getting there, or maybe they thought the funereal service was enough. They didn’t need the closure I did. Still, Kari’s whole volleyball team stayed and they piled into Katy’s dad’s van to be driven to the cemetery across town. Katy invited me to come along, and I sat between Ally, Sarah, Justine, and even Julie was there. She had come home to celebrate her birthday and then stayed to attend the funereal of her child-hood playmate, and her sister’s best friend.
Katy wouldn’t let go of the star shaped pillow. I wondered what it meant to her. Was it Kari’s?
         I couldn’t recall the details of the funereal or burial. I guess I didn’t really pay attention. Kari had been a Christian, and believed in God, so the priest spoke about how ‘Hikari was one of God’s children, and it was time for her to come home’, and how ‘There was a time for everything, and every season has its changes (Ecclesiastes:3:1-8).
         I thought it was a load of bull. If there was a God, why did He let such terrible things happen like Kari’s death, and Angela’s illness?
         I knew Angela believed, so I tired not to be too cynical, but now I was starting to lose my patience.
         It snowed as they lowered the casket. Big, puffy, white, Toronto snow piled on us, and the wooden box that held the body of our friend.
         No one said anything for a long time after the service. We just looked on with tears in our eyes. The grave was just a hole. No headstone, it wasn’t even filled in, and was even more depressing.
         We all stood on one side, Kari’s family on the other. Apparently she had a grandmother living in Japan who had flown all the way here to say goodbye to her granddaughter. Kari’s 3 brothers stood solemn, the bend of their heads the only indication of their grief. But the youngest one had tears in his eyes.
         Their mother was a wreck. I couldn’t stand to look at her. I was sure Kari’s mother was not as old as she looked to me. Her face was lined with age, and most of her long, black hair that was like Kari’s, was fading to gray. Kari had told me that her mother was still tender in her heart over her father’s death. What could it be like to lose a child too?
It was then, as I was looking at Kari’s family that Katy collapsed in the snow. She fell to her knees and burst into tears, the first one of us to openly show her grief. I leaned down next to her along with the rest of the girls. We tried to comfort her, but she wouldn’t stop crying. It was like when Angela and I were 12, and she cried without stopping until I’d taken her to the nurse’s. But I had no idea why Angela had been crying that day. But I knew why Katy was. At least I thought I did.
         “It should have been me!” she cried out, suddenly. “Kari!” she screamed.
         "Don’t say that, Katy.” Her sister told her, but she really wasn’t listening.
         “I was supposed to be there. She had tried to invite me. I should’ve been there!”
She buried her face in her hands. “I should’ve been in the car, I should’ve died with her!” She paused, and Julie moved back, visibly shocked.
         I couldn’t stand watching them. It was terrible. Katy’s grief seemed to spread throughout the grounds. I knew there was nothing I could do for her.
         “I could’ve at least said goodbye.” Katy continued, softly. “Heather and Andrea got to hold her hand until the ambulance came…”
         Heather and Andrea were the other two girls in the car. I didn’t know them because they were from another school. Kari had had a lot of friends.
         “I know she died on impact… at least she wasn’t in any pain… but I could’ve seen her one last time…” she concluded, and then to everyone’s shock she fainted in her sister’s arms.
         Katy’s father came and carried her over to the car, and most of the others girls followed her. It was so that only me and Kari’s family were left. I couldn’t leave yet.
         Katy was fine, she was just overwhelmed. I knew I’d felt like passing out a lot lately because of my dear friend’s illness and unsure future, and of course, the sudden death of Kari.
         I suddenly noticed that Katy had left behind her star-shaped pillow. It lay in the snow, almost invisible from the heavy snowfall that covered it. I leaned down and picked it up, and that’s when Kari’s mother spoke to me.
         “Our last name is the name of a festival of stars in Japan. Hikari and Katy both had one, expect Katy’s is shaped like a moon because her name, Tsukino, means moon in Japanese.” She said, and then she bowed to me.
         I was so shocked, I stepped back, dropping the pillow again.
         “You are Marissa aren’t you?” she asked, and all I could do was nod.
         “Hikari-chan spoke highly of you and your friend, Angela.” She continued, and I felt tears trickle down my cheeks. It made my face cold.
         “Kar—“ I started, but changed my mind as the name ‘Kari’ was just a nickname.
         “Your daughter was very kind to me and my friend who is very sick.” I told them, and Kari’s mother gasped, her grandmother, a small, hunched over woman, looked over, clearly unable to understand us. The three boys had looked away, and my heart pounded.
         What had I said wrong?
         What did I do?
         “The cranes…” Kari’s mother said, distantly.
         “I saw her working on them last week,” One brother spoke up, (I really didn’t know their names).
         “She wouldn’t tell me why.” He added.
         “Kari had our whole class make 1,000 cranes for Angela…” I said. “She already had 500, we only made the next set.”
         Kari’s mother put her hand to her head then, and leaned over.
         “My dear, kind girl Hikari.” She sobbed, and the boys held onto their grieving mother’s shoulders. They turned her around, coaxing her to return, and nodded at me. I clutched the pillow in my one hand, and stepped back.
         Only Kari’s grandmother remained now, and she seemed to be saying her own private prayer in her own private language for Kari. I reached into my purse and took out the gift I was going to leave at Kari’s grave, and walked over to the old woman. She had stopped praying, and was looking down at her granddaughter’s grave.
         “Um…excuse me…?” I started, nervously, not sure if the woman would understand what I was saying. She looked up at me, and I held out the gift in my hand doing my best to mimic the bow the family had shown me.
         The gift was another golden crane. I had made it when I got home from the hospital, planning to leave it on Kari’s headstone as a symbol of our friendship. But I couldn’t do that because there was no head stone yet.
         The old woman looked a little confused as I stood there handing her this golden crane. But as she came closer to it her eyes filled up with tears, and she reached out to take it from my hand. I looked down hating to see her tears.
         “Arigatou.” She said to me, the Japanese word for ‘thank you’. I knew that much.
         “Domo arigatou gozaimashita.” She bowed to me, and I looked around before bowing back. I felt really out of place. I didn’t even know why I was giving it to her. Maybe I felt sorry for her, unable to understand what most people said that day, or just because it reminded me of Kari, maybe it would for her too. She was this old woman who’s sixteen year-old granddaughter was dead. How terrible that must be.
         “Onamae wa?” she asked me then, her voice a deep, rich sound. I tried to listen hard to pick out the sounds. The word sounded like ‘name’. It sounded almost exactly like ‘name’. So I told her my name.
         “Marissa.”
         “Ah, Marisha-chan.” She pronounced my name like Tomoya did, but I was surprised that she seemed to know me.
         “How did you--?” I started to ask, but was cut off.
         “Marisha-chan wa Hikari-chan no otomodachi ne?”
         Otomodachi, otomodachi…… Tomoya had said that. It meant friend. I nodded then, feeling tears again from speaking about Kari.
         “Gambare, Marisha-chan.” The old woman smiled at me, and although I had no idea what it meant, I felt encouraged by what she had said to me.
         “What the hell are you doing here?!” I suddenly heard a male voice shout behind me, and both Kari’s grandmother and I turned toward the sound. It was coming from cemetery parking-lot, and it was one of Kari’s brothers.
         “Eh?” the old woman said.
         I quickly nodded to her, and then ran down the hill to see what was happening.
         “You bastard, how dare you even show your face here!” I came to see the youngest brother pushing back a thin, Asian boy, whose eyes were weary and blood shot, and he didn’t seem to care in the least that he was being beat on. He just stood there like a punching bag. I couldn’t believe that this was the ‘hot, strong and loving boy’ that Kari had told me about. Because that’s who he was. This weak and battered boy was Leo, Kari’s boyfriend, and the drunk driver that took her life. I had to hold back from hitting him myself.
         The other two brothers held the younger one back, but he struggled, obviously wanting to do more damage then a push and shove.
         “Please, I had no intentions of driving drunk that night.” Leo weakly tried to defend himself, as he stood there looking like it was an effort for him to be standing up. His pathetic condition reminded me of Katy. I looked around for her, and saw her sitting in her father’s car, fully conscious now, with the door open, watching the little war.
         “Bullshit!” cried the youngest brother, lunging for the kid.
         “Aki stop it!” Now the oldest boy shouted.
         “I loved Hikari, I would never do anything to hurt her!” Leo shouted, his eyes filling up with tears.
         “Then why did you do it?” Suddenly Katy was in front of the group, her eyes deadly serious, and very angry.
         “I-I didn’t.” Stammered Leo.
         “Didn’t what?” Katy demanded.
         “Drink.” He replied.
         “You’re denying it?!” Aki demanded.
         “I’ll kill you!” Aki’s brothers held him back, but the grief and anger in his eyes was harmful enough.
         “I swear to you, I did not drink at that party.” Leo insisted, trying not to cry. The boy was in a lot of pain. I didn’t know what to think anymore.
         “Ask the other girls. They knew. So did Kari.” He continued.
         “OK, who should we ask? Heather, who’s almost lost her mind, or Andrea who’s in a coma?!” the oldest boy shouted, almost letting go of Aki.
         “You’re a murderer!” Aki shouted, but then Katy stepped in front of them.
         “Wait,” she said, and the boys quieted down.
         “Kari knew?” she stammered. “Andrea….. Heather….they all….” She paused, starting to cry again.
         “Kari knew I hadn’t had anything to drink. At least believe me that she and the other girls were smarter then to accept a ride from a drunk driver. Even me.”
         My breath caught in my throat. I knew it. I knew Kari would’ve never done anything so stupid. Tears came to my eyes.
         Thank God, I thought. Thank God.
Whatever Leo’s story was, it didn’t matter, because now we all knew Kari hadn’t let death fall upon her.
         “So why did you test to have a high alcohol level in your blood?” Katy asked, shakily.
         “I don’t know, Katy.” Leo replied. “All I can even remember was starting to feel strange. Kari, Andrea, Heather….we were all acting a little nuts, and Kari said I was being an idiot, and she’d take the wheel. That’s when it happened.”
         I shuddered to think about what the accident must had been like for them, and I couldn’t believe one of the girls was in a coma.
         “What is all this screaming about?” Katy’s father came over from the cemetery where he’d been speaking with the other adults, while us kids were all down here trying to kill one another.
         “Leo?” suddenly Katy’s father locked eyes with the boy, who looked away.
         “Oh, I see…” he said, thoughtfully. “Alright, listen, kids. You all do not know the full story of that night. Even Leo doesn’t.” Katy’s tall, strong voiced father started to say.
         “What?” asked Leo.
         “Leo is not to blame. I want you all to understand that.”
         “But Mr. Tsukino—“ Aki tried to protest.
         “They all were drunk that night.”
         “What?!” I think all of us asked that question at the same time, even me.
         “Andrea, Heather, Leo and even…Kari.”
         "Oh my God…” Katy stammered.
         “The police are looking into it, but we think they all drank some sort of spiked beverage. It is not an uncommon thing to have happen. They were all good kids.” Katy’s father explained, as we all watched, wide-eyed.
         “Leo is innocent now, and until proven guilty, and there is no reason he cannot be here to say goodbye to Hikari-chan.”
         “Oh, Daddy!” Katy burst into tears, and ran into the arms of her father. There was nothing the rest of us could do, and I watched as Leo walked slowly up the hill, and like Katy, fell to his knees at Kari’s grave.
~
         We had to go to school after the funereal, but we really didn’t do much. Even the teachers were solemn and grieved. In art class all we were told to do was finish what we were working on.
         It was Sandy who came across the portrait that Angela had drawn of Kari. She showed it to me in tears.
         “How can this be?” she asked, rhetorically. “How can it be that the artist of this picture has leukemia and is in a hospital now, and the girl in the drawing is dead?”
         The picture still had faint blood stains on it from when Angela had first fallen ill. Tears came to my eyes as I looked it. It was just too much.
         Angela… Kari…
         How could this happen to my only two friends? What had I done wrong?
         I took the picture, wiping away my tears, and posted it up in the hall. Then I wrote out a message and credited the drawing to Angela.
         ‘Don’t forget’
         Remember Angela who is ill, and always remember Kari, who can no longer be with us.


Angela

         “Ne, Anjira, daijoubu?”
         “Ne daijoubu?”
         “Neeee~ daijoubooooo?!” Tomoya stood in front of Angela’s closed off bed, tugging on the curtains until Nikko grabbed him.
         “Come on, Tomo-kun, let’s leave Anjira alone now.” She said, holding onto the little boy who struggled against her.
         “Yadda!” he cried, squirming in her arms. “Yadda, Yadda~~!”
         Nikko put Tomoya onto his bed and gently spoke to him in his native tongue,
         “Anjira is feeling very sad today, honey.” She explained to him. “She’s sick again, and sad because her friend has gone away.”
         “Marisha?” he asked.
         “No, honey, her friend has gone away and isn’t going to come back.” Nikko replied.
         “Kari-onne-chan?”
         “Yes, Tomo-kun.”
         “Where did she go?”
         “Far, far away.”
         “She’s not coming back?”
         “No, honey.”
         Tomoya looked down. “That makes me sad too. I want to see Kari-onne-chan.” He sniffled, and Nikko hugged him.
         “I know sweetie. I’m so sorry.” She said to him, and patted her son’s knee before standing up.
         “I’m going to see how Anji is feeling, OK? You can say hi to her then.” The nurse came over to Angela’s bed again, and gently rapped on the curtain, calling out to her.
         “Anji, honey. I’m here to take your temperature, OK?” she called.
         “Ok…” came Angela’s weakened reply, and Nikko pulled back the curtain.
         Angela was laying on her side, curled up under the blankets, her eyes blank and expressionless. She had fallen into a depression since the death of Kari, and hadn’t left her bed or eaten at all. Nikko brought out a thermometer and put it in Angela’s mouth, feeling the girl’s forehead at the same time.
         “Anjira you’re a little warm.” She said, concernedly, taking out the thermometer and reading the numbers.
         “I don’t feel well.” Angela whimpered.
         “You have a bit of a fever.” Nikko replied, pulling the blankets over her.
         “Oh,” she mumbled, coughing a bit.
         “It’s not serious, but I want you to rest today, and please, try to eat, Anjira.” Nikko told her.
         “Anjira no eat?” Tomoya asked.
         Angela looked up at him, and sighed, swallowing in.
         “I-I can’t.” she said.
Nikko pulled up a chair and sat at the girl’s bed.
         “Anji, you’ve suffered many losses, and I know Hikari-chan’s death has been very hard on you, but you mustn’t give up. Hikari would never want you to.” She said, holding Angela’s thin hand.
         “I don’t want to give up,” she breathed. “But why does everyone seem to give up on me?” Tears came to her eyes, and trickled down her cheeks. “Everyone I know dies. It’s like I’ve got a curse on me.” She whimpered.
         “Anjira, you know that’s not true.” Nikko assured her, rubbing her hand.
         “I can’t get close to people. Marissa is the only person I let myself trust. I-I lose everyone.” Angela stammered, and held onto the sheets. Nikko brushed her hands across Angela’s warm forehead, pushing back her bangs.
         “Anjira izu so sad.” Tomoya said, pouting, his lower lip quivering.
         “Kawaii sou Anjira.” He said, and then he started to cry.
         Angela sat up in bed, “No, Tomo-kun, don’t cry!” she cried, but the little boy continued to sob.
         "Tomo-kun naka nai. Daijoubu yo.”Nikko said, rubbing her son’s back, but he still cried.
         “I’m so sorry, Tomoya.” Angela told him, moving to get off her bed, but became too dizzy to do so.
         “Angela, please lay down.” Nikko told her, before leaning over and picking up her crying son and bringing him over to Angela’s bed.
         “Tomo-kun let’s look after Anjira because she’s not feeling well, alright?” she said, setting him beside the girl. The little boy looked over at Angela, and rubbed at his tears with both hands, then he lay down beside Angela, who lay on her side and held him.
         “I will take care of you.” Tomoya said, his accent strong, but it was a full English sentence. Angela felt more tears in her eyes as she held on to the little boy.
         “Anjira daisuke.” He said to her, and cuddled closer to her.
         “He loves you, Anji.” Nikko smiled.
         “I-I love you too, Tomoya…” Angela told him, shakily, and he smiled, and cuddled up to her as if she were his mother.
         Nikko took a snapshot of the sleeping pair, and smiled.
         “We all miss you, kiddo.” She thought to herself, before setting the camera back down and continued to nurse the rest of the children.

         Marissa

         “You keeping Angela warm, Tomo?” I asked the little boy when I came in to find Angela and Tomoya sleeping together. Tomoya was awake, and looked up at me, putting his finger to his lips.
         “Shhh…” he said. “Anjira wa netsu ga aru.”
         I had no idea what that meant, so I only stared at him, blinking. He came over to me, and reached up, signaling for me to bend down. I did so, and he put his hand to my forehead, and then his, and then Angela, taking it away and shaking it as if it were hot.
         “Fever?” I asked, worriedly, coming over to my sleeping friend and feeling her forehead.
         It was warm.
         “Oh no, poor Angie.” I said.
         “Shhhh!” Tomoya cried, but Angela didn’t stir.
         I sat down beside them and brushed my hands through Angela’s hair. I wondered what she had gone through that day, all alone with her grief, and unable to go to the funereal just like with her father. She was just too sick. I felt so bad for her. When would my friends ever be happy? I continued to brush my hands through my friend’s long hair. At least she looked peaceful while she slept.
         “I’m so sorry, Angie.” I said aloud, only being answered by her heavy breathing.
         “Yes! Oh yes!” suddenly Maria came running into the room, followed by who I could only assume was her father.
         He was a big Hispanic man, with a thick mop of hair, tanned skin, and he had a visible tattoo of…. I think it was Jesus. He looked like a member of a gang. Not the father of a twelve-year-old cancer patient. Or whatever was wrong with Maria.
         “I’m getting out of this torture chamber!” she shouted, and she actually looked happy. For once.
         “Really, Maria?” Suddenly I heard Angela’s weak voice speak up. The loud, obnoxious Maria had woken her up.
         “Now, baby, let’s not get too excited.” The big man told her, but Maria didn’t hear it.
         “No more stupid cancer kids.” Was Maria’s answer to Angela, who didn’t take offence.          Sometimes I wanted to slap some sense into her. But I swallowed that thought, as I remembered that I had already slapped her.
God, I hated myself.
         “Got a meeting with the doc tomorrow, which means I’m getting out of here!” Maria cried, grinning, her usually cold, hard eyes shining, and she actually looked like a nice young, innocent girl.
         “You’re just going to talk to Doctor Alba. Don’t get your hopes too far up, baby. I don’t want you be let down.” Maria’s assumed father told her.
         “I’ve been here for more then a week, and they haven’t found anything. It’s gotta be good news!” she argued.
         Just then Adrian and Arcadies came in. Arcadies was pushing Adrian’s wheelchair and humming to herself as she passed the little gathering.
         “Maria, I’m so happy for you.” Angela smiled, but I saw the redness and puffiness of her eyes. She’d been crying.
         “What? Why?” Arcadies asked.
         “I’m leaving you sickies behind.” Maria boasted.
         “Kaeru?” Tomoya spoke up.
         “Sure kiddo.” She replied, always having a soft spot for Tomoya. Like everyone else.
         “Hah! You were the one who wasn’t sick!” Arcadies grinned.
         “I guess you’re right for once, squirt.” She replied.
         “Congratulations, Maria.” Adrian said, kindly.
         “Maria we’ve disturbed your roommates enough, lets go to the lounge alright.” Maria’s father said, leading his daughter out of the room.
         “See you on the other side.” Maria grinned, wryly.
         “Ugh! She doesn’t deserve to go home!” Arcadies shouted, angrily, when Maria had left.
         “Arcadies, don’t say that.” Adrian told her, but the little girl just scoffed.
         I didn’t blame her. I didn’t think the cruel, spoiled girl deserved to be well when other good people were so sick.
          But I was jaded that way.
         “I’m sorry, Marissa. I didn’t even notice you were here.” Angela suddenly said to me. She was pale, and had sweat on her forehead. I was glad Maria had left so Angela could get some rest.
         “Don’t worry about it.”
         She smiled at me.
         I came closer to her, and put the blankets over her. She lay down again, and Tomoya buried himself under her covers.
         “I hear you have a fever.” I said.
         “Just a little one. I’m OK.” Angela assured me.
         “I went to the funereal today.” I started, watching as Angela turned toward me.
         “Many people came. I feel a little more at peace now.” I continued, seriously. I didn’t want to tell her what Katy’s father had told us. It was just too terrible. But comforting at the same time. I didn’t know what to tell her.
         “I want…” Angela started, breathing in deeply. “…to say goodbye.”
         I gripped her hand.
         “There’s no headstone right now. When you feel better, I can take you to the cemetery. There’ll be a headstone by then, OK?”
         Angela nodded.
         “Tomo-kun,” Nikko came back into the room then, and came over to the bed. “Come here, Tomoya. Time for your medicine.” She said, firmly, like a nurse, but there was also the regret that she had to put her son through this extreme treatment.
         Angela had told me that there were different types of chemotherapy. Many types, but the most distinguishable was the chemo taken by IV as opposed to the type that I had seen her drink from a plastic cup at her bedside. IV chemo tended to make patients sicker, and Angela had always been more weak, more sick to her stomach on the days she had received that type of treatment. If Tomoya had to leave the room, it meant he had to take IV chemo.
         Poor little guy.
         “Dame.” Tomoya said, clinging to Angela.
         “Come on, Tomo-kun. I’ll carry you, OK?”
         “Noooo~!” he cried. “No leave Anjira!”
         He wasn’t afraid, he didn’t care about the chemo. He just wanted to stay with Angela. What a brave little boy.
         “Go on, Tomo. You have to take your medicine.” Angela told him, gingerly.
         “No okusuri.” He said, mixing Japanese and English together.
         Nikko came and picked him up, but he didn’t struggle too much. He accepted his fate.
         “Gambatte, Tomo-kun.” Angela smiled, and I later asked her what it meant.
         Good luck, work hard, don’t give up.
         It became my new favourite word.
~
         Angela

         Angela slept the rest of the day, barely remembering when she did manage to eat, or when she took her own chemotherapy. She didn’t remember saying goodbye to Marissa, or when she received more medicine to lower her fever. But she remembered when Tomoya came back.
         She always would.
         It was her first indication that the little boy was actually sick. Sick like her. With an unsure future like her.
         Tomoya was rolled into the room on a stretcher bed after dark that night. Marissa was gone, and Angela had woken up from the waves of nausea that washed over her religiously every night. The little boy was pale, still, covered in a blanket, and he was moaning. Angela sat up in bed and watched the nurses bring him to his bed across from her. Nikko was with him, and she brushed her fingers through his fine, black hair. He didn’t move, he didn’t even open his eyes. Angela couldn’t believe she was looking at the same little boy.
         “Tomoya?” she asked weakly, but received no answer.
         Nikko was with another nurse who was pushing the bottom of the stretcher. The other nurse frowned, and Nikko brought the bar down and picked up little Tomoya who groaned, painfully. Angela’s heart ached for him.
         Nikko set him down in his bed, and had him sit up to drink some water. Angela thought he was going to throw up for a minute, but Tomo-kun only lay back down and fell back to sleep.
         Tomoya Naruse, Nikko’s son, really did have leukemia. He was three years old, trying to learn English and not even old enough for school, but he had cancer. He was sick, and he lived in a big room with kids who were much older then him. But he loved her. She loved him.
         Tomoya, please get better.
She thought to herself, as a tear came down her cheek.
Then she crawled into bed next to him, and repaid him for the kindness he had shown her that morning.
         I will take care of you…
******

         “Tasukete! Tasukete Mama~!” Tomoya cried that night, waking up suddenly in a cold sweat.
         “It’s OK, Tomoya-kun. It’s OK.” Angela comforted him, and held on to him.
         “Mama! Mama!” he cried, tears starting to come to his eyes. Angela still lay in the bed with him and did her best to calm him down. She felt cooler, and her head was clearer. She realized her fever was gone.
         “Mama’s gone home, honey. She’s sleeping.” Angela told the little boy.
         “Nooo~ No go home!” he cried, trying to get out of the bed. Angela held him down, and brushed his hair back.
         “Shhh Tomo, shh.” She whispered, as he tried to calm down, hiccupping through his tears.
         “Dekinai…Swim, no….can’t…” he whimpered, struggling for the English words.
         “You’re OK now. It was just a dream, ne? Just a dream.” She tried using just a bit of the child’s own language to calm him down.
         “Duremu…” Tomoya mimicked, trying to pronounce ‘dream’.
         Everything was so hard for him, Angela felt so sorry for him.
         “Keep it down. Tomorrow’s a big day for me.” Maria mumbled, grumpily, turning over in her bed. Angela ignored her, and helped lay Tomoya back down, putting the blankets over him.
         “Daijoubu.” She tried to say. “Go to sleep now.”
         “Koko Anjira. Anjira sleep here?” he asked, after struggling with the translation.
Angela smiled.
         “Sabishii, Anjira. Stay with me.” Tomoya begged, tearfully.
         Angela looked around, wondering where the night nurse was, and then nodded.
         “OK.” She said, and lay down beside him again.
         “Anjira?” Tomoya started, weakly. “Kari-onne-chan wa…?”
         His question with no finish used to confuse Angela, but this she understood.
         “Kari had to go away…” she told him, still having trouble believing that the second person she’d ever let herself feel close to was dead.
         “Far, far away.” Tomoya added.
         Angela could only nod, holding back tears.
         “Why?” he asked.
         “Kari was hurt really badly, and she died. Do you know what that means, Tomoya?” Angela asked, hoping he could understand her.
         “Un.” He nodded, a way he would always use to say yes. It was Tomoya’s own positive statement.
         “Shinda…” he said. “Die.”
         Angela listened patiently as Tomoya worked through the translation. She wished she could help him. She decided she would ask her aunt to buy her a Japanese-English dictionary. Then Tomoya could say the Japanese word, and she could translate for him.
         “Hakketsubyou.” He said suddenly.
         “What?”
         “rukemia.” He managed to say, unable to pronounce the ‘L’ as always, but Angela knew what he was saying.
         “Rukemia…die…” he whispered.
         Angela sat up quickly, in disbelief.
         “No!” she almost said too loud. “No Tomoya. Don’t say that!’ she cried, but then managed to calm herself down for the sake of the other sleeping patients.
         “You and me...We have leukemia…” she started. “But we’re going to fight, OK?” Her voice was shaky, as she held the little boy closer to her. “And you may get sick, and you may hurt, but you will live, Tomoya, for a long, long time.”
         “Long time…” Tomoya repeated, softly. He turned around to face her in the darkness of the lonely hospital room.
         “Anjira,” he started, weakly.
         “Arigatou…”

~

         Marissa

         “You’ve always been a little bit of a loner. Angela too. I guess you just needed each other.” Katy told me, as we walked down the halls of our high school together.
         She was better. Not completely. It had only been a few days since Kari’s death. The funeral had been yesterday.
         How long could it take to get over the death of a best friend?
         This whole experience had frightened me to the point of exhaustion.
Kari was my friend. But Angela is my best friend. I could lose her. Easier then ever losing Kari. Her death was an accident…. But Angela had an illness that she had to fight to stay alive. It was trying to kill her. Like a murderer inside her body.
So what was I trying to do?
Forget it all.
         “I guess I understand that much.” Katy continued. “Or understood…” she corrected herself, sadly. I looked over at her, and said nothing.
         I was joining the student council. I wanted to get involved with something or else I thought I was going to go crazy at this high school alone, with all the tragedy that now lingered in its walls.
         I was no good at sports, (except volley ball), couldn’t play an instrument, and academics were definitely not my strong suit. All I could do was write, and cut hair. The school newspaper was packed, and there was no beauty club, (just the class), so here I was.
{indent We entered a classroom where mostly students I had never seen before sat a long table. It was made up of a bunch of desks pushed together, and the room was a study-hall by the look of it.
         Katy was vice-president of the student council, and the president was a boy named Jake. He was a tall, lanky sixteen-year old, with wavy, dark brown hair, and hazel eyes like me. Jake was a class clown, but a smart one.
         The Treasurer was… well, Treasurer was open. That had been Kari’s job.
Then there were a whole bunch of executives, which included Sandy.
That’s what I hoped to be. I wouldn’t take Kari’s place. I couldn’t.
Besides, I was no good at math.
         Jake smiled at me as I entered the room. He had a kind smile that didn’t really match his goofiness, and I shared my 4th period English class with him.
         “Hello, Marissa. Welcome to the student council.” He said, surprising me because I had only asked Katy that morning if I could join. I didn’t think the president would know yet.
I didn’t know the other executives, which sucked because I thought I could get along with people I knew like Katy. But I didn’t know any of them.
         “So what do we have open for you?” Jake asked nobody in particular.
         “I just thought about…” I started to say, but Katy cut me off.
         “She wants to be an exec.”
         “An exec…” Jake said, thoughtfully. He looked over to the others who shook their heads.
         I felt strange being looked at and evaluated.
         What was I doing?
         Why was I even doing this?
         I was stupid to think I could join the student council halfway through the year.
         “I’m sorry, Marissa.” Jake said. “All the exec places are filled.”
         I sighed. Guess I had to join the volleyball team. But that place was even more depressing for me. Justine had automatically become the new captain, and of course, Angela should had been on the team too… It wasn’t something I could use to forget. It was bad enough that Kari had been on the student council too.
         “Sorry, I thought you could get a position somewhere.” Katy told me, apologetically.
         “Besides,” she started, leaning over and whispering in my ear. “Jake likes you.” She smiled, weakly.
         I blushed, unable to believe what she had said. I had been starting to think that Jake a thing for…not me… but… lesbians. Because isn’t that what the whole school thought of me?
I would never have thought that Jake Maciati, (an Italian, like Angie,) liked me. Yet now that I’d been told, it was pretty obvious.
         “Wait a minute,” Jake suddenly said. “You’re in my English class…”
         Yes, I’m in your English class… I thought, just wanting to get out of there.
         This was embarassing.
         “You’re the best writer in our class, why don’t you be our secretary?” he smiled.
         “You don’t need to be a good writer to be a secretary.” I mumbled, shyly.
         “Well, I guess not…” Jake said, thoughtfully. “But you’d be an important member of the council, and your ideas would be heard. Just like an executive.”
         “Just take the position, Marissa. You’d be good at it.” Katy assured me.
         I looked around, nervously at the members of the council, and felt sweat trickle down my neck.
         I couldn’t do this.
         I should stay the same girl with no extracurriculars and no life.
         That was my old life. But I had Angela then. Now, I had no one.
         I stepped up to Jake and took a deep breath. “All right, I’ll be the secretary.”
         Jake grinned, and clapped his hands together. “Good! Let’s get started.” Then he threw me a pen and pad of paper, and I began my first secretarial job for the tenth grade student council.

         Angela

         The children all went to the rec-room the next day. Angela rarely found herself there because of her extreme intolerance to medicine, and because she’d had a fever the day before, she didn’t go that day. Adrian stayed in the room too. He had constant migraines from his illness, and couldn’t join the others either. So it was just the two of them.
         Angela sat up in bed reading a poetic book. It was a type of story she could feel like she was drinking. Beautiful words, beautiful poetry, simple and sweet story. It would not overwhelm her, but it soothed her hurting soul.
Adrian had been asleep when she last looked over at him, and she knew he had a headache, so she didn’t want to disturb him. She immersed herself in her book instead, and got lost there until Adrian spoke to her.
         “Angela…” he said, suddenly. Angela put down her book and looked over at him.
         “Sorry, are you busy?” he asked.
         Angela shook her head. “I’m just reading.” She replied.
         “Where are the others?” the boy continued.
         “They’re in the recreation room.”
         Adrian looked up at the ceiling, and didn’t say anything for awhile.
         “Does your head still hurt?” Angela asked him. The boy turned to her.
         “It comes and goes…” he replied, weakly, and Angela noticed he wasn’t quite looking at her.
         “Adrian…your eyes…” she said, worriedly.
         “You’re just a little blurry. I can still see you…but it hurts.” He sighed.
         Angela frowned, hating how much the only boy her age suffered. How much all the children suffered.
         “Why aren’t you with the others?” Adrian asked her.
         “Dr. Alba says I shouldn’t be around too many people today because I had a fever yesterday.” She replied.
         “Are you feeling better now?”
         Angela smiled, “Much better.”
         “I’m really sorry about your friend.” Adrian told her sincerely.
         Angela tried not to look away, or down. She didn’t want to lose eye-contact with the boy who was going blind and trying to focus on her. But the pain of her grief shot through her, and all she wanted to do was cry it all out. She didn’t say anything, and it was Adrian who looked down instead.
         “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring back painful memories.” He said, guiltily.          Angela smiled at him. “It’s alright. I’m OK.”
         Adrian leaned over and rustled in the drawer next to him, pulling out his dog-eared, and beaten down sketchbook.
         “Are you going to draw something?” Angela asked him.
         Adrian sighed, as he picked up a pencil and held it in his right hand.
         “I can try.” He smiled, slightly.
         “Let me see.” Angela came over to the boy’s bed and sat beside him. He said nothing, but gazed at the girl. He concentrated on her as best he could with him failing eyesight. Angela, who was always shy, smiled nervously at him, and moved back.
         “I-I’m sorry.” He said, looking away from her.
         Angela said nothing, feeling embarrassed.
         “It’s just that…” he started, just as nervously as her. He swallowed in, and looked up at her. “You…” he trailed off again, and Angela waited, and gripped the covers, and generally tried not to be so shy. She wasn’t the only one.
         “You’re beautiful.” Adrian finally said, and looked down, shyly, unable to look in her eyes anymore.
         A blush spanned across the girl’s usually pale face, and she felt heat all over her body. She couldn’t speak.
         “You’re beautiful, and….and I can see you.” Adrian continued.
         Angela was confused.
         “I mean, you’re clear…” he paused. “…when the rest of what I see is through a cloud of smoke.”
         Angela felt tears in her eyes, breaking her blush from her face, and she brushed her long bangs away from her eyes. Then she moved closer to the boy, and concealing her nervousness, her heart pounding in her chest, she moved her hands to rest on his, and then without speaking she moved his right hand still holding the pencil down the paper in a long wavy line. Adrian watched as for once, his hands didn’t shake, as they were guided by the girl’s thin, smooth hands. He smiled, just barely able to see the drawing on the paper that blurred into nothingness whenever he tried to focus. Then Angela, who had been looking over his shoulder at what they were drawing, sat back on the bed and lightly sighed.
         “Remember,” she started, stroking a long piece of her hair that hung down her chest.
Adrian turned to her.
         “Beauty is found within.” She smiled, sadly, and then gently brought her hair up over her shoulders. When she brought her hand down, she still held small pieces of her fine, white-blonde hair in her fingers. Adrian reached up and pulled his bandana off, revealing that he was almost bald, his head smooth, save for small, uneven brown bits of hair sprawled at the top, side and back of his head.
         “It doesn’t matter.” He said, taking her hand.
         “You’ll always be beautiful.”
~

~~~~Tomoya's Glossary Part 3~~~~

Japanese

Arigatou~ Thank you

Domo arigatou gozaimashita~ Thank you very much

Onamae~ name- "Onamae wa"~ What's your name?

Otomodachi~ friend-"Marissa-chan wa Hikari-chan no otomodachi ne?" ~ You(Marissa) are Hikari's friend, right?"

Gambare/Gambatte~ Good luck

Daijoubou~ All right-"Ne Daijoubu"~ Are you all right?

Yadda~ No

Daisuke~ Love- "Anjira daisuke"~ I love Angela

Netsu~ fever-"Anjira wa netsu ga aru"~ Angela has a fever.

Kaeru~ go home

Dame~ (pronounced Dah-may) No/Don't

Okusuri~ medicine

Tasukete~ Help

Dekinai~ Can't- "Dekinai...swim..."~ I can't swim

Duremu~ misprounciation of dream

Koko~ here

Sabishii~ I am lonely

Un~ (pronoucned oon) Yes

Shinda~ Dead

Hakketsubyou/rukemia~ Leukemia