Straight No Chaser

XXX

rethought the whole animal porn thing and realized i actually do have something to say about it. it's a shame really, but it falls in line with what my intentions had been for this entry anyway, so here it is. names have been changed to protect the innocent...

(because this is gross.)

three months before my high school graduation, a girl i was barely friends with had a huge end-of-year party at her parents' farm, way out in the boondocks. everybody came, whether or not they wanted to, because it was our last chance to spend time together, how sad and so forth. no drugs or alcohol (on account of her parents being home), a rarity for this crowd, and in their stead the deprived got heavily involved in this out-of-control game of truth or dare. for the most part, it was just silly stuff--people kissing people they hated, mild striptease crap, "end of an era"-style confessions--nothing serious.

then lindsay's dog wandered in. we were out in this barnhouse, with straw on the ground and two donkeys braying out back. the dog was huge, one of those marmaduke types that looks like it could and would eat you alive, no questions asked.

"ed" dared "melanie" to "fuck the dog." all fifty of us spectators laughed and gasped, not sure whether the dare was hilarious or appalling.

she did it. in front of everybody. turned out it was appalling.

she was one of those crazy eat-drink-and-be-merry types, superintelligent and superloud, accustomed to being the constant center of attention. she loved guys, particularly ed (who for four years had been resistant to her myriad advances), and she'd do just about anything she thought would get a rise out of him--literally or otherwise. i guess she thought it was going to be sexy.

it was, as i said, appalling.

that might not even count, considering it wasn't really porn. but i think it's close enough, and possibly even more disturbing, being as melanie and i had been friends, on and off. two years later, i still hate that memory.

here's where i was going to divulge a semi-juicy thing or two about the great m and myself, but now i've completely grossed myself out. i'll save it for next time.

ew.