Personal Journal

Measurable Progress

It wasn't a bad day.

Things got bad around here and came to a head last night. Since this is a public entry, I'm not going to rehash it because I've done a half dozen personal entries on it.

Last night I decided I needed to change at least one thing - my drug use. And I decided I needed to get an attitude adjustment regarding my job specifically, so I called my various bosses and told them that. I told them I was taking Thursday and Friday off, and that I was going to get my attitude adjusted. If they didn't like it, too bad.

And I did adjust my attitude.
Tonight is the first night in at least 45 days that I haven't smoked weed. Not much of an accomplishment, but it was a goal I set for myself yesterday and today I made it happen. And I can tell that I'm better off for it.

I painted for about 3 hours tonight, and that was good. I hadn't painted in at least 2 weeks? It reached a level of being a chore, and I was more interested in getting high and checking out than moving toward that goal.

I spent some time, some quality time with Kim and Missy talking online, and I'm better off for that, too. There's something going on in my life that I don't want public in here, but they were helpful with calming me down about an ordeal of sorts. It made me feel like I have friends who care about me after all, even if they do live so far away.

I listened to music a lot today, some angry, some uplifting. I got a hike in during the falling snow, and that bolsters my spirits. Tomoroww hopefully a bike ride.

Mostly I resisted the temptation to get high. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, and I'm not sure why that was. Part of it was the awfulness of yesterday - one thing that sucks about being high. Sometimes you realize you need to be sober, and when you're high, the only thing you can do to get yourself sober is wait.

I think I'm still kicking ass with weight watchers, and I don't remember if I wrote that publically or not here - during my first week I lost 5.4 pounds. I'm not really trying to brag about that - first week results are atypically easy. But it, again, was good to have a goal and see a solid step toward it.

Now if I can just find a way to get myself toward writing fiction again, that will bolster my spirits a lot - probably more than any of the other things I've talked about here.

I'm going to get up super early and talk to Missy and Kim online again. I have to be up in the pre-dawn hours of east coast time to do that. Why can't I like people who live close to me?

Today was a day of measurable progress toward my goals.

It is never too late to be what you might have been. -- George Eliot
Courage to start and willingness to keep everlasting at it are the requisites for success. -- Alonzo Newton Benn