Straight No Chaser

Nobody's Baby

yeah, i wonder about things like that too, about what it'd be like to have sex with a penis. then i look at that statement again, notice its ambiguity and, simultaneously, that it works either way, and realize i've got bigger fish to fry before that ever becomes a concern.

probably out of character for me to whine about feeling sexually deprived, so i won't do that, but i will say it gets harder and harder to put up with people like treesje, who came in at four this afternoon to describe this elaborate dream she'd had about being pregnant. i spent the whole listening session exchanging looks with krystle, which is really only half as satisfying as it could be, because i've only told her half the story of my magical freshman year, and what it was like living with treesje.

triangular dynamics are really fascinating. there are distinct ties between each pairing of us three (me-treesje, krystle-treesje, me-krystle), and even though we're all close and pretty much know each other's business in detail, certain specific details never seem to leak from their respective pairings. krystle and treesje gab about boyfriend issues pretty much nonstop. i don't entertain most of their crap, and consequently, don't know much about either of their romantic lives. krystle and i live together, and ninety percent of our initial bonding was centered around our shared despair of treesje. treesje doesn't know that, of course. treesje and i lived together too, like i said, only we didn't choose each other, not by a longshot. we were both victims to random room assignment, and met for the first time the day we moved in. the arrangement worked out serendipitously in treesje's mind, and horrendously in mine. by the end of the year i knew every minute particle of information about her sex life and related cervical woes, had heard gruesome stories about the evolution of the world's longest-lasting urinary tract infection, and could probably have personally drawn a floor map of the waiting room to every women's clinic in the atlanta metropolitan area. i went and sat with her while she had biopsies done, reminded her to change her birth control patch, insisted that she investigate the "precancerous condition" that showed up in the results of her first pap smear and generally chaperoned all her home-based dates so she wouldn't get tempted into sex while she was healing from all manner of medical procedures. all krystle ever heard from her, meanwhile, was "sean's giving me a hard time again."

in other words, krystle gets flighty in-love treesje, while i'm the below-the-belt go-to. and the point is, we all laughed, but it's really not that funny to hear that treesje's dreams are taking fetal forms these days. they stopped using condoms ages ago, and they've already done the traditional std circuit. really all that's left is an accidental pregnancy, and i'm pretty much guaranteed to be the one who coaches her through some spread-eagled ordeal or another.

how did sexual frustration lead to this? blerh. somebody getting knocked up would certainly cap off this year with a bang. this afternoon's most extensive daydream, after treesje FINALLY left, was that that somebody was me.

yeah. regardless of how much it would actually ruin everything (and i do mean everything, starting and ending with my precious little life), i'm too much of a romantic not to think about things like that. (visit my port if you don't believe.) especially when i've got this gorgeous baby-maker at my beck and call; he all too frequently wants to make babies, even if his owner doesn't.

oh so random. the general consensus is that they'd be cuties, though.

more later. i wanted to get all that out while grim was still online, just in case he should smile my way.