Boulevard of Broken Dreams

On My Own

Facing yourself on your own is hard. Only my mum, my younger sister and a few of my closest friends know. I told them all seperately, when I knew I could trust them. I had a friend who too was facing the dark. He and I became close, I mean it, really, really close. Until recently I was gullible enough to believe that he really did love me.... I know he didn't. he was using me as a tool to fetch his the money to feed his addiction... His drugs. His cigarettes, I was the 'thing'. The money together in his scheme. Jerk is to good a word. And right now, death is to good a punishment. He does not suffer, not even now. he smokes both his addictions and takes his happiness. I suppose one day he might stop. But not soon. I'm his prisoner still... If I decide to find s omeone else he's already said to me that he will destroy them.... I don't know, he w asn't himself... But I can't tell whether he was serious...

I distance myself from him now, he won't use me anymore, he can't hurt me. Won't force me into things anymore. Because he did so much more to me that simply take my money...