Where's the Silver Lining?

We've arrived, but where?

The closer the time came to leave for this trip to Colorado, the more anxious I became, the more I felt that we shouldn't go. Robert, however, was determined to come so that he could see Bob. Now I wonder if he sensing something that he isn't sharing.

On the way yesterday, Robert became very ill. Thank God Jacque was with us. Without her help, I could not have managed. I wanted to return home, but he insisted that we had to continue. The trip took over thirteen hours because of all the stops we had to make. But Robert would not allow us to turn around.

When we arrived at our friend's house last night, I thought I'd never get Robert stable. It was terrible. The trip had left me in great pain and exhaustion, but he had to be cared for. Joyce and Jacque helped all they could, but somethings they couldn't do. God has blessed us with wonderful friends.

Finally Robert was able to sleep for a bit, but the night wasn't good for either of us. I had the first migraine I've had in nearly two months, and I walked the floor between bouts of helping him.

Today is better, at least for me. The migraine is about gone and sleep will take care of the tiredness, but Robert is showing some indications of, well, toward the end. He's losing bodily controls, which we were told would be one of the signs of his body failing. I want to scream, cry, beat on the wall.

But he will see his older son, our older son. I wonder if he feels this may be the last chance he has? I know he takes every opportunity to see and visit with Randy, too. Maybe he's saying goodbye. I don't know, but I'm scared. Me, tough, battle-a-buzz-saw Vivian, scared.

I know he had another small stroke yesterday. Jacque noticed it first. She called it to my attention. Before we could get off for help, it was over. Robert still refused to go home. He was becoming so aggatated we just kept going north.

The trip home will be terrible unless Robert improves during the next week. I'm praying that he does.

Where is that silver lining behind this storm cloud?


P.S. Joyce has dial up Internet, and I can only use it when no one else is around so that I won't tie up her phone line. I'll be around as I can.