Ins and Outs of my Life

Grandma

She had been dead for 25 years yet I still feel her. I think about her a lot. I feel like she is always with me. In fact I think she is. I was 14 when she died. At one time she had lived in our home for 7 years. I was very close to her. I remember often I would go to her room and watch t.v with her. She loved 'The Lawerence Welk SHow" I could never understand why at the time. BUt now I find when a re run comes on of it, I pause to watch a moment of it in her memory, even though I still don't like the show all that much.
One of the things I remember about her was how she always opened her pocketbook for me and gave me change to put in my pocketbook. SHe gave me her old coin purse when she got older. I still have it somewhere.
She loved to read and is part of the reason I love to read. She always had a magnifying glass with a light on it and would read until late at night. Later when she was sick, I would read for her. She loved that.
She was 85 when she died and one of the first people really close to me that I lost to death.
OVer the years I can hear her talking to me. I know it sounds cheesy but I can. I tell my kids about her alot.
About two years ago, I started dreaming a dream that has been reoccurring. I dream it in different versions but it is the same dream. It is that my grandmother is still alive and been away for years kept secret from part of the family. My Mom ( her daughter) doesn't want to go see her because it might upset Grandma. BUt we go and she is in a hospital bed looking 100 years old and she recognizes us. Strange dream. I know Grandma is laughing at me in Heaven. SHe was a strong Chritian lady who raised 7 children. I have many more fond memories of her. I will share them another time.