Personal Journal

...1

I'm stunned by how depressed I can get.
Maybe this has just been a bad week. I hope it's not a trend that will carry-over into the rest of the week.

I'm very down.
I had a dream finally that Jean was in.
I cried on her shoulder. That seemed to be the whole point of my having her in the dream. I needed to cry on her shoulder.
I was crying to her about the illness my ex-wife had, and how worried I was about her. She just let me cry. I don't remember her saying a word, but I do remember feeling understood.

I woke up and I felt relieved to have finally gotten to be with her again. Isn't that odd? Dreams count now. They're all I have. Well, and memories I guess. But the dreams are new. New experiences with her. I wish I could dream of her more often.

She looked perfectly healthy, by the way. Vibrant and alive. Content.

She didn't say a word to me. She just comforted me.

I wonder if today is worse because the dream makes me miss her all the more. I don't know but today - tonight really, has been really bad.

I know I've said all this before. I'm tired of repeating it. I'm not happy. I miss her so much.

It is never too late to be what you might have been. -- George Eliot
Courage to start and willingness to keep everlasting at it are the requisites for success. -- Alonzo Newton Benn


It is never too late to be what you might have been. -- George Eliot
Courage to start and willingness to keep everlasting at it are the requisites for success. -- Alonzo Newton Benn


It is never too late to be what you might have been. -- George Eliot
Courage to start and willingness to keep everlasting at it are the requisites for success. -- Alonzo Newton Benn