Life as we know it sucks

No Regrets

Current Mood: tired...just woke up

Current Music: Mona Lisa Smile Soundtrack

I've been reading a few of the old journal entries and I got to one where I said I would probably regret my decision (choosing Shane over Christopher) and you know what? I haven't regretted anything. Shane and I are very close still, maybe even closer. The almost break-up brought us closer. We're going to Chicago next week to visit my real best friend (not Christopher).

What was I thinking? Christopher is a guy. A guy with a lot of issues about himself. A guy that can't even stand me now. Why did I ever think he was suitable for a best friend?

Rachel is my best friend and always will be. We can tell each other everything and Shane is so comfortable around he and he can tell her anything, too. When she visited for Christmas and I'd leave the room, he would tell her he was really scared he was going to lose me (to Christopher). He wouldn't tell anyone that! Not even me. I guess, because I was the problem.

I don't regret leaving high school a semester early. I got to take college classes which will get me out a semester early also. I got to get a full time job and earn money to make my very first car payment. I got to just break away from that awful rut and awful habits we all fall into. Thinking we'll be going back in the fall, but we aren't. I know I'm not going back. I had 5 months head start of everyone. I knew how it felt to have my friends going to school while I went to work or a night class at college.

I hope the rest of my life is good. I hope I settle down in a couple years (preferably with Shane), start a family, have a good career (not job. There's a difference), and well . . . I hope I never do anything as stupid as let my guard down with a completely unsuitable guy ever again.

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Good fences make good neighbors.