Breathing Room

Minus the Underwear

I wake up for work, always pushing it too the last minute. I'm supposed to be to work by 8:30 and I get up at 6:45. My train leaves at 7:47.

I was already pushing it because I had no idea what I was going to wear. If I know what I'm going to wear that saves me at least 15 valuable minutes. That day it wasn't happening. I just couldn't visualize what to put together from the pitiful meager amount of clothes that I own. I'm working on it.

The previous week I had worn a pretty dark blue linen skirt ensemble that received quite a bit of comlpliments. I had all but forgotten about this outfit until I noticed it during my search of desperation not to repeat something so soon.

So I returned to this same desperate thought process and I remembered this black dress that my aunt had given me a long while ago. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to pull it off at work because - I do have an ass.

I'd just come out the shower and -David likes to tell me that I'm an exhibitionist (which I'm not)- I was naked except for my towel which I let fall on the bed. I went into my reserves and grabbed the black dress, foregoing my bra and undies just to see what it looked like before applying the particulars.

I looked in the mirror, turned this way and that, sat down on the toilet lid, the dress rode up my thighs -too much for work...I was still trying to figure out what to try next but I had the brilliant idea to have Dave put some Aloe on my back and shoulders (as I was peeling from our trip to the shore..how come on the east coast its a trip to the shore and back in cali its a trip to the beach?)

I unzipped the dress and grabbed the Aloe and went back to the bedroom. I went to my wardrobe attempted to find something, gave up and asked Dave if he would put some Aloe on me. He came over and I handed him the Aloe with my back facing him so he could apply.

Now I was in a bit of a funk but nothing major and nothing directed towards him. I just hated having so little clothes that needed serious acts of creativity that I really don't possess to put something together each day.

So he pulls the back of my dress back a little -near the zipper- and I'm thinking, he's not getting any this morning. But instead of shutting his mouth and applying the damn Aloe he says,

"Hold up, you're not wearing any underwear out?"

His tone is seriously, fucked up and his face is all torn up -I'm getting serious attitude. For a split second I'm confused because I'd thought he'd wanted some. But suddenly I'm turned into some hoe, the kind of girl who doesn't wear underwear to work in short black dresses.

I wheel away from him. PISSED! (because I still don't have an outfit to wear on top of this and I have to waste minutes dealing with this bull...)

"I'm not even wearing this! I wanted to see what it looked like first and if you noticed more you'd see I'm not wearing a bra either. Have I ever not worn bra and panties or now I suddenly wear neither!"

And this yelling match ensues with him making it seem like he said, "Honey, you seem to be wearing no underwear getting a little freaky aren't we." Smiling sweetly the whole time with me laughingly responding, "Yeah that's exactly what I'm doing.." And we laugh the whole thing off as the silliness that it is.

But no, David was an asshole who was very serious. And I responded accordingly. I mean what the hell, in his jealous twisted mind suddenly I'm the girl who walks around with no draws on. That's the kind of person you see me as?

Later...days later...I was in the shower and I thought about this (which later was glossed over, but whatever) and this thought coincided with the film 'Boomerang' and I thought, NOW if I ever wanted to be sexy FOR DAVE and we went out to a restaurant and I didn't wear undies (which has never happened)and we were playing under the table it just wouldn't work, I know that this issue would be revived, re-birthed and the whole point would be lost.

His loss.