Breathing Room

Old Friends

Lately I've found myself wishing I could revive old frienships. But of course this would create issues within my trust weary relationship. sigh

I had this great friend Atu (A-too) in college. We were the best of friends. We used to crack each other up. Hilarious. I used to keep him informed about my then relationship and that high drama and he kept me consistently giggling.

We tried dating for the briefest of moments. I was getting out of the aforementioned relationship and well, we were just so close that we said what the hell.

That didn't really work mainly because we were better as friends and the fact that we weren't really attracted to each other so much physically...I miss our conversations and the witty sarcasm that we constantly used

Sarcasm has now gone bad in my current relationship and oh how I love to use it.

Atu is like 6'6, thin with locs. He has an angular face with quite precise features. I'm 5'11 and I loved a male friend (finally!) that I could actually look up to. I mean I have plenty at eye level, but nothing beats looking up. For me anyway.

Once I was talking to him on the phone about Derrick -one of my exes- and this was a long conversation that included lots of jokes and many loud outbursts on my part, only to be scared shitless when Derrick emerges from under my dorm bed (I had no idea he was there, he had supposedly left) about 40 minutes later (we're still on the phone and Atu is in hysterics on the other end laughing his ass off) and I'm in shock. That was definitely a big red flag, we didn't last much longer.

We've lost touch. I don't know why. For some reason or other I think he got pissed at me and wouldn't tell me why. After me and him broke up (mutually) I reverted back to Derrick (I know -big mistake) ever so briefly and I've always guessed this was the reason. Who knows. I tried to ask him but he acted like he didn't know what I was talking about. A mutual friend kept trying to reconnect us (he's close to Atu) and he knew we were the best of friends and was equally as baffled.

I theorize that maybe he had more feelings for me than I thought, although our break-up was so friendly and full of laughter.

I miss him. A lot.

You don't find friends like that often.

If you're out there my number hasn't changed from college...we can start right where we left off.