The Life Of Me.

20th July 2005

I'm not worth being friends with apparently lol. Tried talking to Gem, and Joe did aswell...but apparently I tried to ruin things between her and Andi at Download and that she's not bothered that we're not friends...so...that's nice. I really missed her aswell. I need a girly friend again...I mean I've got my lad best mates...but tis not the same. She's such a cow...why has she changed? Why does she lie...and why doesn't she like me :-S Most importantly, why do I care lol. Why can't I just accept that she does not want to be my friend because she's not a nice person. I was really upset when Nadine hated me too...I found that really hard to deal with for ages. I guess that means it ain't too bad and that it's not because it's Gemma...it's the loss of a good friend that hurts. And it hurts that I'm always abandoned...that nobody ever really likes me, and that I'm always going to get ditched...for seemingly, no reason. Is it just because all girls are evil? Or because those particular girls are evil? Or is it me Am I a bad friend, even though I try my best to keep them happy and make sure they're okay and try to be there for them? *sigh* I need to get over it. I really hate not speaking to people. And the fact she's fucking mates with Kirsty again really winds me up. That's it though. Though it's pretty hard when Martin talks about Gem quite a lot because of Andi, and she's always going to be around. I can't disconnect from her, she's always going to be mentioned. At least with Nadine, I didn't have to hear about her on a constant basis. At least Andi doesn't hate me. He says we're going to go out, without Gem haha. I fancy telling her that. And I think it's funny that she blames me for making things hard with Andi...when really, it isn't my fault that she lied to him lol.

Somebody help meeeeeee. I need to get over it. I need to forget her and move on. Friendships...why do they always end badly? Apart from with Charl and Joe. Meh....