Straight No Chaser

Tina Always Beats Me at Literati

it has been brought to my attention that my excessive profanity is neither necessary nor ladylike, hence i revert to an earlier and more sophisticated standard of etymological decorum. or, no, nobody actually complained, but i did get teased. working toward a happy medium.

the shredding is over, thank god, and it's back to regular stuff. at the risk of sounding completely arrogant, which i'm not, people who don't understand the first thing about metrics keep me in stitches. so does my boss, who heard about yesterday's paper clip incident and thought he'd help things along by providing me with a bigger, newer shredder--presented with a gigantic self-satisfied smile and an actual red velvet ribbon. where he got the ribbon, i have no idea. there is typically nothing in this office that isn't brown or gray. i wonder if it was entirely a joke, which it probably was, or if deep down he actually believed i might think that was an exciting gift, like how rich women sometimes give their maids scrub brushes for christmas and such. i mean, i really only exist in his life as a menial worker; for all he knows my greatest joys do indeed come from putting the finishing touches on a spreadsheet, or from reaching the bottom of the "to shred" pile. just like how i can barely imagine that he goes home and thinks about anything but productivity statistics, and i have a gigantic imagination.

i miss my old window.

tina really does always beat me at literati. with words like "ba," no less. which sucks because i have a feeling i could really punish her in a game of real-life wooden-tiled scrabble.

remember when my entries used to have themes and flow, giving the illusion of unity? yeah, i don't know what happened. random observations are fine, i guess, but starting this evening i'm going to try for a return to the old method.