Breathing Room

Hooker Gum

David works as a therapist at a mental health company. There are many colorful characters in his place of business, that don't just include the clients.

One time, I was at his job talking to one of his co-workers Diane.

Now Diane used to be a client, but she decidedly walks a fine line(apparently they have no qualms hiring past patients). She's quite the funny character. She's the cook along with miscellaneous odds and ends, so she usually finds herself with plenty of time on her hands as this job isn't exactly overwhelming.

I'd stopped by to see Dave (his job is completely laid back) and we got to talking. I was mainly laughing at her stories and the gossip she was dishing me.

I pulled out some gum (juicy fruit, my favorite, eventhough the flavor is shortlived) and offered her a piece as well. She commenced to snorting and laughing and carrying on, all the while refusing the piece.

Of course I'm waiting to hear what's so funny and what does Juicy Fruit have to do with any of it.

"Guurl, you should it be eating that stuff. Thats that hooka gum. Them hookas eat that stuff. You ain't no hooka is you?" ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

That's what? Hooker gum? I thought I misheard her. What are you talking about? I felt like I was on another planet. She had to be making this up.






She wasn't.

She called another one of her cronies in the office. The Cronie shook her head in agreement and also advised me not to eat that gum.

"I've never heard of hooker gum in my entire life. (not very long life) And plus I don't even know any hookers or people who know hookers or hang around hookers, what's wrong with me eating some Juicy Fruit."

"That don't matter. It don't matter. Hooka gum is hooka gum. People see you with that gum I know what they'll be thinking." more laughter, belly shaking.

Right. Okay. What will 'they' be thinking. I mean, hooker gum?

There's so much I don't know and will never know -don't want to know

None of my friends knew what the hell I was talking about.

Hooker gum.....hmph




I think I'll have a piece right now.


.........................................Hooka