Marv's Mind

No thanks, I'll wait.

It’s a well know fact that women borrow tampons and pads from each other. We borrow them
while at work, out with friends, at a family reunion, or at a friends house. If push comes to
shove…we will even borrow them from someone we don’t know, or don’t like. These things
are important to us and for some reason we are always unprepared and caught off guard.

I found myself in this situation while visiting with my brother and sister in law. I asked my
sister in law, Emily, if she had a tampon? She made her way to the bathroom and came
back with a tiny little white thing that looked like a small bullet or a nubbed off pinky finger.

Here’s the conversation…

Marv (Emily)

What is THAT? (a tampon)
What the FUCK? (*long silence of disappointment*)
Where’s the rest of it? (that’s all of it)
What do you mean? (that’s it)
Where’s the other part? (what other part?)
The machine part…(what machine part?)
The applicator (there isn‘t one)
There isn’t one? (no)
WHY NOT? (they don’t come with one)

OMG - I don’t think you’re getting your monies worth if they don’t include an applicator.
What a rip off, and who in their right minds would buy that kind? I’m just shocked.

I had a few more questions....

Does it have a string? (yes)
How do you put it in? (you just put it in)
With your fingers? (yes)
You just cram it up your crotch? (yes)
With your fingers? (yes)
Do you like them? (yes)
Have you always used them? (yes)
Don't your fingers get all bloody? (yes, you just wash them)
So you just cram it up there and then go wash your fingers? (yes)
And you do this? (yes)

The whole time this conversation is taking place, my brother Stephen, who’s a minister, sat
with his hands over his ears, singing la la la la la La La La LA LA LA and rocking his chair,
in front of his computer.

Needless to say, I waited until I got home and used my own supply.

-Marv-