Journal writings about my youngest son's journey with spina bifida |
What incredible things God can do! An eleven month old baby has major surgery and in three days is crawling all over the house and standing next to everything. I hold my breath every time Jack pulls up next to the couch or the chair or the cupboard, scared of him falling and opening the incision on his back. But there is, literally, no holding this boy down. I laugh as I watch him careen through the house, intent on his purpose, an eye on the prize. His siblings giggle at him and say his name over and over, so happy that he's home. There are a few challenges. Namely, a strong, healthy, hard-headed little boy who has had momma doting on him every minute of the day for the last three days and now thinks it should continue. He cries when he sees someone else in my arms and crawls over to claim me. It is with relief and joy that I can tell him he needs to wait; Caitlin, Ashley, and Nate need me, too. Nate, in particular, has missed me and snuggles with me, playing with my hair with one hand and murmuring, "My Momma." Oh, how I've missed them. Ashley, who has been a Michigan State fan for the past year, for no other reason than to antagonize her daddy, now pledges her loyalty to the maize and blue. "Because those are the doctors that made Jack all better, Momma." God, you know how much I love her. Caitlin, our oldest, is scared of Jack for the first day. Every time he cries, she looks at him in fear. As if she will see him fall apart right in front of her. I love her for loving Jack so much that she's terrified of losing him. I assure her over and over that he is fine. "God took good care of Jack," I tell her, "He's okay." We change dressings, being careful to keep the incision site and the drain clean. We try to keep Jack away from bumps and falls, as much as you can with an active baby. And we love our life. |