Zee Journal! |
In the course of the day I have accomplished in no particular order: -School -Spiritual Counsiler. -A sympathetic ear to a friend. -An inspiration for blogging. -A chauffer. -A confused person. "Please don't let this be the Tequila talking." I asked that same question myself. Am I stupid? I find myself wondering if this is what it must have been like for Eve to have plucked that forbidden fruit. To know that of all the things she couldn't have was nothing more than an arm's length away. Is it true that the sweetest fruit is the one kept under lock and key? Or is it sweet because it is the least tasted? I'm just second guessing myself tonight because of being tired, but this evening was rough. I learned she has began taking antidepressants. The same ones I take, actually. Is that because of me? I talked with a close friend of mine about it all, and I couldn't help but to be a smile from ear-to-ear the whole conversation. Yet, does she do the same? Now, after some time has passed I've began to discover that I didn't protect my heart in the ways I should have. I long for her. My heart begs for her to be next to me. I'm afraid I will push her away if I ask her to talk about it. It's hard, like you all know, to lock away those emotions. To keep that smile on your face, even though its faultering, so that maybe, just maybe, she might not see your heart fading. I understand the choices that I made, and accept them. If this is to be my punishment I take it with a proud heart. I just wish, for once, that maybe things could go a bit simpler. A little easier. Why must we always be pulling our pack up hill? I'm not sure if my friend will be seeing this, but she knows who she is: I hope that life smooths out for you. Life is chaotic and unsure right now, but the knot will untie itself soon. Just keep working at it with patience and a clear mind. "Only in Dreams" by Weezer You can't resist her. She's in your bones. She is your marrow And your ride home. You can't avoid her. She's in the air... in the air In between molecules of Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide. [chorus] Only in dreams We see what it means. Reach out our hands. Hold onto hers. But when we wake It's all been erased. And so it seems Only in dreams. You walk up to her. Ask her to dance. She says, "Hey, baby, I just might take the chance." You say, "It's a good thing That you float in the air... in the air. That way there's no way I will crush your pretty toenails into a thousand pieces." [chorus] Only in dreams We see what it means. Reach out our hands. Hold onto hers. But when we wake It's all been erased. And so it seems Only in dreams. [chorus] Only in dreams. Only in dreams. Only in dreams. Only in dreams. Only in dreams. Only in dreams... In love I am the greatest fool, yet I would have it no other way. |