The Life Of Me.

23rd October 2005

Am having a poopy day I suppose...Finding this all a bit difficult. And Martin's...I dunno...he's not here so I've just given up on relying on him for help and comfort. Spesh since he wasn't exactly nice last night, and he had a mate round. Family all giving me a bit of meh-ness for not singing aswell...I just couldn't manage it and wouldn't do Nanny justice...

It's really hard. I don't know how to feel, how to feel better, I just feel so down and completely gutted that this is happening. I'm terrified for the funeral. I'm going to live with the images of my family, people I love terribly, hurting so badly...it's going to be so horrible...and I'm scared. I don't know...I feel alone...