Marv's Mind

Accident Prone

I'm quite accident prone. I can turn a normal day into a trip to the hospital or the local emergency care center. I have VIP reserved parking at both locations and the staff know me by name. Never a dull moment.

A few of the things I can tell you about are:

1. I fell off a curb while toilet papering my preacher's house and tore ligaments in my ankle.

2. I flipped my hair upside down to put it up in a pony tail and slit my head open on the marble counter top. Thus requiring stitches.

3. I was playing outside at my uncle’s house and was bitten by a chicken snake because I wasn't paying attention.

4. I was minding my own business once, swinging in my folks porch swing and the whole thing fell and I busted the back of my head on a rock. I wasn't even fat back then.

5. I tripped over my own two feet during marching band camp and ruined a brand new french horn and busted open my lip.

6. The first time I smoked pot...I had a seizure and fell and hit my head on a microwave. Then, when the other stoned drunks tried to move me to the couch...they dropped me on a hard wood floor. I got a concussion.

7. I tried a front hand-spring in the lawn once and fucked my back all up. I used to be able to flip around and do that shit.

8. Of course...I broke both elbows roller skating just 5 weeks ago. I sprained both wrists and jammed both shoulders. I'm a roller diva!

9. I neglected taking my epilepsy medicine for a couple of weeks when I was in high school. Being the rather intelligent kid that I was, I tried to make up for it by taking 2 weeks worth at one time. Never Never do this!

10. I was putting on my pants while standing and lost my balance...I fell over and dislocated my shoulder.

These are just a few. My nickname as a kid was Grace and I can't imagine why. Zoo won't let me go on a picnic, to a football game or even go for a long walk. I can't even check the mail because I'd have to cross the street to do so. When I had both my casts....I wrote his cell number on the casts incase somebody found me in a ditch...they could call him to come claim the body.

-Marv-