Straight No Chaser

Hey Li'l Mama, Let Me Whisper In Your Ear

i are a genius, but a resourceful one, because i managed--with a dead battery and empty gas tank--to purchase my dvd, see my friends, catch all but the first five minutes of chicken little (they complained, i liked it) and make it back to campus without getting stranded on the highway. and now i have my dvd, and it's amazing what they can do with squirrels--i always figured them to be basically untrainable; not so.

and then, speaking of fur and awe and squirrels doing amazing things, walking back to the dorm after midnight i had to climb these stairs at the rear of the campus, and these two little sets of eyes (glass, they looked like) shone at me from about two inches above the second-to-last stair, and my immediate thought was, hey, someone left her furbies sitting outside, and then one MOVED, and i screamed, and then they both moved, jetted behind the metal banister beam, and they were kittens!!! tiny, tiny, frightened kittens who didn't exist two weeks ago, because the cat that wanders around by our dorm was still fat and alone. one disappeared, ran under a bush and hid, but the other one stared at me, tinily and frightenedly, trembling, head down--i don't even really like cats, but this one was adorable and unassuming and wee, and i haven't seen the big cat around in days, so i thought the kitten might be hungry or something. i said "stay right there," probably out loud, and i started to run back to the dorm to find something--tuna? a little cup of watered-down milk?--to bring back, but discovered, two steps later, what can only be described as squirrel carnage.

the kittens, tiny things that they were, had killed somewhere between four and seven squirrels. actual number is indeterminate, because the squirrels were in pieces, and i counted four tails. lots of severed legs. no heads. and then the kitten that had stayed behind, the cute one, came forward and very sassily licked one of the severed squirrel pieces. yuck. i went inside. killing squirrels, that's not chloe's m.o., but apparently her babies don't mind doing it. circle of life, et cetera. if they were my kittens, i'd name them sweetness and light. but i don't even like cats, or kittens, all that much.