Just Plain Jennifer: A BLOG

I did do something today

Ok, so I have now been with out fags for like 30 hours! yay for me. I'm wearing the patch so I don't go psycho on anyone. My husband and I have kind of gotten into it (nothing serious except for a little physcial abuse). No no, I know that's nothing to joke about. Really.

I've had some cravings for the evil cigarettes but I'm faring well. What's really funny though, is that the patch matched with some of the crazy pills that I'm on make me mega, super hyper. I swear, not that I know what it is, but this must be comparable to doing crack. I feel good, feel smarter (huh?), and I want to run around the building 20 times.

Yeah, not quite sure what to do about all that.

So, next on my list-eat well. That's going to be difficult since I love-I mean LOVE food. Just thinking about it makes me salivate. But, what the fuck ever-I'd rather be able to wear a bikini than eat a quarter pounder (with cheese).

The work out thing is on the docket-I still have one session with my trainer (hollie- blnd, weighs 100 if that!). She's actually really good though, because she's not the in your face, "You can do it" type but she extends support if absolutely necessary-perfect. She's a slacker about work-which I totally respect-so she cancelled a few appointments-that I really didn't want to go to anyway. (like she read my fucking mind) And I haven't gotten in touch with her. So, I guess this weekend I'll have to make a call and set another appt. Hopefully this time I will make it.

I have a real problem with making appointments. Ok, so I started seeing this shrink, who was pretty amazing, and on the third appt, I ditched. I didn't call because I just didn't want to talk to her-I guess I was nervous about what she'd say because I care what she thinks about me. So, I called and set up another-missed-another-missed-another-missed! Yeah, like 4 times. How can I go back? It sucks because when I leave her office I feel like I could conquer the world and I definitely need to talk about my parents.

What are you going to do? (that's my new saying-it's like a catch all when talking about negative things-saves you from actually having to think of and give advise)