Catching Idle Butterflies

How easy it is to hide

Every time our Discipleship class meets, at the end we list any prayer concerns for the week. For the last seven (out of eight) I have stayed mum. That's not because I have none, either for myself or my family, but because I'm afraid.

I'm terrified of showing my weaknesses, but what frightens me even more is sharing what's going on with my family. Every member of my family is the same as me; we're all very private -- too private, but that's another entry for another day. Sharing those concerns with others, especially ones dealing with my family, feels like a betrayal, like I'm gossiping or complaining.

I discovered today that there comes a time when I must speak out. I don't have the answers, and God on this is silent. There are times those answers must come from another person, perhaps one who has been through the same thing I am now having to go through.

I apologize for my obscurity, but I cannot bring myself to reveal the particulars. I can only hope God will lead me to the one person, or persons, who I need to discuss this with, and that I will have the courage to speak. I have considered the other members of my Discipleship class. After all, they have had no difficulty sharing their own problems and asking for help. Why should I not have the same courage and trust in them as they have in me and everyone else in the class?

Perhaps after I spill my guts, I will finally hear God's voice.