Marv's Mind

Cry Babies and Christmas Parties.

I'm screwed! I told my mom I'd go with her to the State of Texas Bridge Division Retiree Christmas Brunch. Now if that ain't a mouthful...I don't know what is. I'm now obligated to go. My mom only mentioned it and I must have brought it up again at some point cuz she said "Oh, did you want to go?" What was I to say? I told her if she wanted to go I'd go with her. What a dumb ass I am! Ok, so I didn't want her to miss it. She wouldn't have gone this year if I hadn't semi-volunteered. Her good running buddy that is also a retiree passes away this summer and I don't think she'd of gone without her.

I'm sure by going this year it will turn into an annual holiday activity to add to my already long list.

I think I have to wear makeup! URRG! I don't even know how to spell makeup/make up/make-up. I haven't worn it since I applied for my job 5 and 1/2 years ago. I think I've worn lipstick twice since then and a shit load of chapstik.

If I'm not careful people will start to think I'm a woman. I have these nails that require attention and skills I don't have and now I have to wear makeup. My God! What's this world coming to?

My real problem is that I have to go buy mascara. I need the not so runny kind. What if I tear up? I do that often now. I was on Prozac and Paxil for 6 years so I'm used to not having emotions or feeling much. Now that I've been clean for over a year...I tear up quite often. Sometimes it a stupid ad on the radio, a movie, a song, a moment. It gets on my nerves! I get on my own nerves. Do regular people tear up and get all weepish over dumb shit? I don't actually weep but I get all watery and my eyes sting. I hate cry babies! I'm a cry baby!

Back to the point...I need to buy really good mascara so I can wear it to this Christmas party and not worry about smudging? Is that what you girls call it? Smudging? The last time I wore it the blue kind was in style. Do they still sell that kind? Wouldn't that be festive...

I'm sure I'll have a good time. I'd do anything for my mom.

-Marv-

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