Marv's Mind

It's just not fair

I haven't been able to write lately. Not that I consider myself a writer but more like I haven't been able to think about anything except quitting smoking. It's all I think about. I try to act scenes out in my mind of what the first few weeks of being a non-smoker will be like. What the cravings will be like. It freaks me the fuck out. I'm having a hard time imagining it. Why can't I continue? Zoo's been smoking for 26 years and I for only 15. It's not even. I should still have some lung left to kill. My eyes are getting all watery cause I'm stressing out. I might have a real life melt down. I've come close a few times but never anything quite like this. The more I think about it...the more I can't even stand the thought of quitting. I want to run away. I want to scream.

I do want to quit. I don't want to die young. I don't want to have a nasty ass cough the rest of my life. I want my voice to return so I can sing again. I want to smell good everyday. I want to save money. I want to do this for my kids. I want to do this for myself.

I'm going to run off and hide now.

-Marv-

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **