Mountains of my life: Forever Soldier

Painful Years Now a Merry Christmas

After a very long time of contemplating, self-pity, egoist meditation (whatever those words mean to you), I finally found my place under the sun, or should I say, God, after placing my life in a fast fast-forward, I am exactly where I am now - sitting on my wheelchair, writing, meditating, and counting my blessings. Yeah, I said simply to myself, where was I all these years?

You know - if you only know - I used to cry by myself (all that self-pity), but I hated to be seen by anybody crying. Nothing will happen to this life; it would have been better if I died on that accident; I should have been a successful military man by now if it were not for that accident; I should have killed myself... etc. etc. Those were delirious words that I uttered while I was sprawled in my lonely room, watching the ceiling, looking blankly at the lizards kissing each other.
What prompted me to start all over again? No, there was no instant message. No miracle. It was a painful and long process. It was like the Holy Spirit slowly carried me to where I am now - writing these beautiful memoires so that others may read it for inspiration.
You, who read and ponder upon this, let me say - God loves you. You may not see me here for long, but I will pray for you that, like me, you will have the courage and the Holy Spirit to guide you.
Merry Christmas!