The Life Of Me.

The Frailty Of Love

I had a great Christmas I was spoilt as I as always am. Got loads from Mum and Alan and loads from Dad and co. I also think everyone liked their presents I was let down by my friends....only got one present from a friend, and I gave out like 7...But I guess that isn't important. Just would be nice to feel appreciated. *for once* Got lovely presents from Martin too. Shame about my guitar...we went halfers on one...proper lush one too, and it was damaged hopefully get a new one I really want it.

Well...I guess why I'm feeling bloggy...is because last week Anne-Marie and her boyfriend broke up for like no reason, after a bad run of events...after 14months. She's devastated. She's tried everything. She doesn't eat, she drinks, she says she's lost 3/4 of a stone in a week...and though I'm not sure that's possible, it's still not good. I really don't know what to say to her. I thought they'd have sorted it by now, but Chris messing her around a bit...14 months and he won't even try it...neither of them even did anything much wrong...just came out of the blue...It really makes you wonder how and why...and whether it's possible that my relationship could go from amazing...to suddenly over...and unfixable. She must be going through a state of shock, and then just missing him so much...she's so upset...it's hard to console her, because I don't know what he's going to do, I can't even predict anymore. I can't think of any decent reasons why he's being like this.

I don't want me and Martin to break up suddenly I know we're actually pretty good at resolving arguments...we never leave things stirring, always sort them within like 5 mins of it happening lol. I just can't lose him. Is it bad to be so dependent on someone? Is it worth the risk of being like Anne-Marie is feeling because she was so dependent on Chris? I know the answer to that. It is worth it. But it's bloody scary at the same time. Relationships are so fragile. They can break so fast...things can be fine, and the next minute you could be refusing to eat for a week...I do feel for her...I would be in the same state she is...I suppose it just frightens me...It does worry me that I've given so much of myself to Martin, handed my heart over to him on a platter that he can do whatever he likes with. If he wants to break it, he can...which is scary. I know I have to have faith...but when you see fourteen month relationships going down the drain over nothing...it's pretty terrifying...I suppose all experiences...even helping Anne-Marie through her break-up are about learning...this experience is to help me understand and be grateful for what I've got, appreciate how amazing my relationship is, how amazing my boyfriend is...appreciate my family, my Christmas, my life, my talents...I really am grateful. I'm lucky. I was on the phone to someone who's life has just been torn apart and she's completely lost. And there's me, as happy as ever, absolutely smitten and happy with my life...it's just not fair. She's doesn't deserve it.