Marv's Mind

Suicide/Murder - What'll it be?

I have yet to decide if this is my official suicide note or my written confession of murder. We'll see how many dumb assess bother me while I'm trying to type this entry then we'll know for sure if I will kill them or myself.

I think I'm gonna have to kill somebody else. I can't kill myself. I've suffered for 2 days so far and it's just not fair that these stupid fresh-mouthed punks are roaming the earth without pain and suffering. I've got to put an end to that. I want everyone to be miserable. I know I've chosen this for myself but holy shit!

I don't want people to talk to me. I don't want to hear their success stories. I don't want to know how they did it. I don't care about all the fucking statistics they think they know. I DON'T FUCKING CARE! Can't they get it through their fucking heads to leave me the fuck alone? I try to smile at them but I can't. I can barely will myself to turn away. I don't want to see their faces. I don't want to hear their fucking voices. I don't want to answer the phone and I don't want to hear the tiny little chime that indicates new mail arrival! Shut the fuck up!

I'm almost to the point of needing therapy. I haven't done anything yet but I've thought about it. I've thought about digging through the trash to find a butt. I've thought about stopping and buying a pack and never telling a soul. I've thought about smoking pot every time I want a cigarette. I thought about picking up 1/2 a lit cigarette I saw lying on the ground during lunch today. I've thought about running away and I've thought about going on a shopping spree and I hate to shop.

I need Jesus! I need help! I need a vacation! I need a fucking cigarette! I need therapy!

-Marv/Non-Smokin' strong one-