The Life Of Me.

Smiling

I saw him the day after our argument and we just hugged for like two hours. He was holding me so tightly, I felt more love in that hug than I've ever felt from anybody. I have faith in him. I have faith in us. He is a good man. He's insecure...but he is a good man. When we're together, the emptiness that I usually feel, the loneliness...the complete terror that shakes through me that I am alone in this world, disappears.

I saw him again today and things were so peaceful...I just love being around him. He's so sweet. Not in a....I dunno, charmer, lying sort of way...just genuinely a very sweet person. And after what he's been through, in life and his relationships, I wouldn't be very sweet in his position. But he keeps his head up, he tries. He fights. And he fights for me. When we were arguing the other day, and I sreamed at him to get out my car...he eventually did, and I burst into tears. I saw him walk away. Five seconds later he came running back to comfort me. If he was spiteful, or nasty or cruel to me, he wouldn't care about my feelings, he would be more concerned with his own. But he never is. How I feel always comes first. And I am grateful.

I think when school starts up again, and we won't see each other every day, things will continue to be amazing. No hiccups. I guess it shows that we're not quite ready to move in together yet, that we still need some sort of space. Personally, I always need time to miss him. I like missing him. Well...it hurts...but when I don't miss him, I miss missing him....LOL.

I love my family. They're good people. They would never hurt me. I have a very good family and I'm lucky. Some people's families....are just awful. Their home situations are so bad, that I admire their strength and courage for just getting on with it.

I am lucky. I'm lucky that I finally feel loved, and wanted, and part of something special.