Straight No Chaser

Decaf (Tee Hee)

(this is how we know it's time for me to go back to school. back to my car. enough sitting around waiting for a ride.) so, i've always wanted to do one of these randomized playlist surveys, where you shuffle the contents of your media player and list the first ten that play, any associations therewith that spring to mind and a favorite lyric. this might come out a little weird, because this is my dad's computer (mine is at school), and it's cluttered mostly with my brother's crap. but, whatever, we'll see what happens.

1. "she lives in my lap," andre benjamin
because: it's one of the most well-crafted songs i've ever heard. something, somewhere, pulsates ten times harder when it's on. and i never liked outkast much before they split in half.
lyric: "you've got me open wide (i love you), just come inside (baby), it's yours, i'm yours, for sure, play, baby, play!"

hmm, i'd always figured if i ever did one of these i'd just skip through the songs, only taking the time to note which ones came on. but. i want to listen through the end of this one, and so, here is a joke:

miss cow and miss pig are chatting over espressos when cow announces, "i think i'm pregnant." pig says, "then you shouldn't be drinking that coffee." cow says, "but i don't want decaf." pig says, "then you shouldn't have slept with da bull."

ha!

2. "takeover," jay-z
because: it's actually really clever. i would like to believe he actually wrote it himself.
lyric: "and all you other cats throwin' shots at jigga, you only get half a bar. fuck yall niggas."

apparently i make aaron nervous. shakingly so, even, which made me feel a little bit guilty until he explained that if it was somehow okay. i don't know whether this makes it any better, but i was nervous too. i'm always nervous the first time i use a phone number, even if i've got a distinct and legitimate purpose in calling. "how dare you call this number," is what i always think they'll say. absurdly.

3. "still ray," raphael saadiq
because: it reminds me of why i sort of hate treesje sometimes. sean and i connected over this song, briefly, freshman year. he found raphael in my cd wallet and was giddily excited, which fried treesje--her ears literally smoked, but this was before anyone was dating anyone and anyway it was totally innocent--long story. he and i went to a cody chestnutt concert the weekend after, and then i just chilled out. the last thing i need is a roommate who thinks i'm the devil.
lyric: "you'll never have to beg me to come to bed--i'll walk you there each night."

i don't like to see my granna as an invalid. i drove her home today to get her mail and medication, and then back here to spend two more nights with us before her follow-up appointment at six o'clock saturday morning. she is cancer-free, is the (obvious) good news. but still in pain and popping extra strength tylenols, which makes her feel weak and self-indulgent.

however we may feel about childbearing, though, this sort of thing kind of makes a case for family life. i'd hate to think what this week would have been like for her if she didn't have us. aunt susan is all the way in philadelphia. my mom, however, is aptly equipped with the firstborn complex. granna likes to say, "a daughter will never desert you."

4. "autumn serenade," john coltrane
because: i put it on aunt susan's christmas cd. she will only listen to very mellow, what i think of as "processed" jazz. i don't like this one much, it sounds like everything else from his stockholm period, but i had to copy it to give it to her.
lyric: "silver stars were clinging to an autumn sky, love was ours until october wandered by..."

i talked to matt. i like aaron's voice better. reservedly intelligent, not that i expected anything different.

i cannot fathom how anyone could have possibly heard everything i said, as fast and as chatterishly as i was chattering, like a teenaged squirrel in beverly hills, but he did, somehow. i figured he would. i was still pleasantly surprised.

5. "stairway to heaven," led zeppelin
because: i sort of think it belongs in everyone's collection.
lyric: "if there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now...it's just a spring clean for the may queen."

mom's birthday is this weekend. i'm not supposed to say which one but it's a big birthday, an important one, and even though she is resisting with all her passive-aggressive force, we are having a card party, ten of her best friends, each one's husband and (mostly) two kids. and a couple extras. she was watching me write out the guest list, mouth drawn into this firm disapproving line (as it's been since we hatched this plan; i'm ignoring it because she's a party animal and she'll have a blast when it actually goes down), and she saw this one surname on the bottom, these people we haven't known very well or for very long, and she said, "no. no no no no no. they're like, third circle out. we have to draw the line somewhere." grabbed for my notepaper, crumpled it up and threw it away. too late! i called them yesterday!

i'm not disrespecting her wishes, just, i know her. she'll be swinging from chandeliers.

6. "to love you more," celine dion
because: i know it's hard to believe, as unfalteringly cool as i am, but i have a hokey side, a side that likes to saw on my air violin and belt out the lyrics at the top of my lungs. with the proper training i could have been another celine. cough cough, sike.
lyric: "i'll be waiting for you! here inside my heart! i'm the one who wants to love! you, more!"

aaron's comment was that it would change everything, being able to attach a voice to the word processed words. if that's true, which i hope it isn't, because i wouldn't want all journal entries henceforth pelting him like rapid little bbs, then i'm going to have to read his entire portfolio again. starting now, maybe.

7. "true love's first kiss," shrek soundtrack
because: such a beautiful score. i love the forest. even though this is one of the less beautiful parts, where the bluebird explodes and they scramble her eggs or whatever. sweet irreverence.
lyric: "tweet, tweet, pop!"

marcus is interning with this judge, who right now is compiling data to draw a correlation between education and crime, which i guess is a less obvious link than it sounds to be. marcus is actually doing all the legwork, supposedly, which sucks because between outback and showing up at court every morning at nine, he's already not getting any sleep at all. i'm starting to rethink my own two-job plan for summer 2006. maybe one is enough for anybody. but the money, i just, i want the money.

but i digress. anyway, supposedly this judge has pinpointed--

wait. maybe i'm not supposed to talk about this.

ahem. decaf. get it?

(ha ha.)

8. "can't nobody hold me down," the artist formerly known as puff daddy
because: it takes me back to fifth and sixth grade. gabe, who didn't turn cool and popular till two years later, when his voice changed, was famous for sitting on the very last seat on the bus wearing his headphones, bopping his blond head to extremely random artists. someone named kooks mcgill once. someone named wizz. and then, one day, the most ridiculous of all: "his name's puff daddy! he's really great!" we laughed. we laughed. i, for one, was imagining something along the lines of an iced-out kirby. a jigglypuff in shades and chains.
lyric: "broken glass everywhere, if it ain't about the money, poppa just don't care."

mermaid made me smile because of all the fantastic creatures out there, i think i'd most like to be a mermaid. how did he know?

9. "two step" (extended live cut), dave matthews band
because: it was my first favorite dave matthews song, and marcus put it on a cd for me, thinking i'd like it better than the studio version. i do. he does this intro, it's very poetic, and boyd doesn't even sound tired back there, fiddling like no tomorrow. sigh.
lyric: "you quench my heart and oh, you quench my mind."

i'm not mad at marcus anymore. i don't remember whether i ever even wrote that i was, but i was. i had been since, like, the day before new year's eve, which was right after our big awesome talk, and then i stopped being yesterday, when he finally explained what the problem is. as big a deal as i made about pointing out how good i've gotten, giving him the benefit of the doubt, i should actually do it once in a while.

this is the part where boyd plucks the little three-note riff on the g-string. "what do you notice about this riff?" marcus asked, early on, when we were still learning one another's musical tastes and prowesses. "he is mind-blowingly off key," was my answer. marcus was proud, happy, so happy i'd noticed. because it meant...something. it meant we could share that, things like that, without them whooshing past anybody.

i'm not mad anymore. i hope he's having a good day. new year's kiss in five days.

10. "sweet love," anita baker
because: it is the best song ever, in a mid-nineties, mommish way.
lyric: "with all my heart, i love you, baby. stay with me and you will see, my arms will hold you baby. never leave, 'cause i believe i'm in love...sweet love! hear me calling out your name! i feel no shame, i'm in love! sweet love! don't you ever go away, it'll always be this way! my heart is coming closer to you; i will be all that you need. just trust, never want for feeling...never leave 'cause, baby i believe in this love...sweet love!...there's no stronger love in this world, oh baby no, you're my man, i'm your girl, i'll never go...wait and see, can't be wrong...don't you know this is where you belong? oh the sweetest dreams of love are we, stay right here, never fear...i will be all that you need...never leave 'cause baby, i believe in this love!" (= all, every last word).

i am glad, infinitely glad we did that. glad aaron is my friend. glad he's not as scared anymore, glad i don't sound like a dragon or a southerner (not that the latter would be a bad thing, but i'm from maryland). glad glad glad.

i wish i didn't have to stop here. i don't, really, but i can't take any more of my brother's juelz santana.

oh! but!

11. "laffy taffy," d4l
because: best song ever!
lyric: "i'm looking for mrs. bubblegum, i'm mr. chik-o-stik, i wanna dununuh (oh!) 'cause you so thick, girls call me jolly rancher, 'cause i stay so hard, you can suck me for a long time, oh my gawrud!"

girl, let me touch ya, i will never tell.