Catching Idle Butterflies

Counting down

Two more days and I leave for Colorado Springs for the “Writing for the Soul” conference.

I think my anticipation and anxiety over what I may or may not accomplish while I’m there is the reason behind my desire to cry yesterday. It was my mind’s way of needing to release the stress that has been building for a while. I figured that’s better then than feeling the need to blubber while I’m trying to sell an editor on my writings. That wouldn’t be good!

I know I will have to remind myself of the difference between hope and expectations the whole time I'm there as I wrote about in an earlier entry. Last year I had expected to sell my novel, but the first editor I met with sent those expectations far, far away – hope along with them.

I called my hubby in tears, and in his usual even-keeled and rational self, told me it was just one editor, and I had at least two more opportunities to present my manuscript to (One reason I love my hubby so. He never lets me stay down for long).

With hope returned, and expectations set to nill, I ended up gaining the interest of one editor. But since they take only agented submissions, she gave me the name of an agent who might be interested in my manuscript. Long story short, the agent wasn’t interested, saying that although he thought I had a great premise, my writing didn’t compare to other books out on the market. Ouch. However, he gave me great advice on how to improve my writing by recommending the book “Self-Editing for Fiction Writers” by Browne and King. After reading the book, I understood what the editor meant, making it worth the rejection, believe it or not.

As I told the others in my Disciple class why I wouldn’t be in the class this Sunday, Barb piped up, “I hope you come back with a signed contract.”

I actually cringed at that statement. The possibility frightens me even more than it thrills me.

Why?

Because getting a contract only means that’s when the real work begins. I will not only have to edit my manuscript according to the publisher’s recommendations, but I will have deadlines to meet. Plus, they will want me to write more than one. Granted I have a trilogy in mind (the second book already done as far as the first draft) with the possibility of another one afterwards and two prologues. It’s having the time to write them in the time allotted, and at the same time meeting the expectations of the publisher and any one who decides to read what I write. That’s downright terrifying.

I don’t expect to be offered a contract at the conference, nor will I even consider the possibility. All I can expect is for an editor or agent to say, “Send me your manuscript.” And even then I won’t be guaranteed a contract.

Plus I have the article "Selling Me Short"  and the series "Bible Monologues"  I’d like to sell to magazines. It’s set up to where the participants can only meet with three editors/agents. Like what happened last year, however, I’m hoping I can meet with more than three. Oddly enough, I want to sell these even more than my book.

I’m also looking forward to meeting with one agent in particular, because he’s also my mentor. I don’t expect him to take me on as a client, but perhaps give me ideas on agents/publishers who will.

We’ll see. I’ll try to keep my expectations low, but my hopes high, and hopefully take the time to meet some other writers and learn a few things along the way.

So with my mind on polishing my manuscripts, don’t expect too much from my blog for the next week. I am taking my laptop with me to write about my adventures while I’m there, but I won’t guarantee it. I may end up too exhausted!

Hope you all have a great Valentine’s Day!

PS Hmm. I just noticed I used the word "expect" a lot. Perhaps I still need to work on the hope vs expectation thing even more than I thought!