Straight No Chaser

Vamping Till My Turn

1. one of your scars, how did you get it?
there's a raised vertical line under my bottom lip from kindergarten: i tried to jump stomach-down onto one of the playground swings, overshot and ate gravel. it was a giant black raspberry with gravel mixed in when i went to the school nurse, one that definitely warranted stitches, but they didn't tell my parents, so my school pictures from that year feature it rather prominently. a giant black distraction. it's a little less pronounced today, not much. it's why that was my last year in private school.

2. what is on the walls in your room?
this room? nothing. the odd fingerprint, here and there. and a cracked mirror, by the door. in my bedroom at home, the walls are covered with stuff, framed prints and posters; ella fitzgerald at the savoy, bob marley smoking a joint, the pre-september eleventh new york skyline, some ethnic artwork, my emerald forest collage.

3. what does your cell phone look like?
it's silver and has little dents along the bottom edge from where i've dropped it. used to have a dangly charm off of the antenna bump, but i broke and lost that.

4. what music do you like to listen to?
things that sound good. my most consistent preference are vocal and avant-garde jazz, but i like a lot of most american music forms, and some afro-cuban, some euro-lounge, some bhangra. (i don't say i like "everything" anymore because i hate when people say "i like everything" and then name, like, three genres, thereby revealing the limited scope of their knowledge base.)

5. do you know what time you were born?
yes. eight minutes before noon.

6. what do you want more than anything right now?
see last entry. also, i want tonight's date to go well, and to make a good seventh or eighth impression on marcus's parents when they take us to dinner on friday. i want to ace all my classes without ever having to set foot in british literature again, and i want to be published. right now. and i want the johns hopkins job, and i want it to pay better than it does. and i want an orgasm. i had three on monday.

7. what do you miss?
the public safety office and the reunion story.

8. what is your most prized possession?
my...body, i guess.

9. what is your favorite smell?
i like wet, rainy, mossy smells; fresh plant smells (but not floral). foresty smells. the flowers my cousin sent for my birthday are arranged in a glass cube, their stems pressed into this block of compressable green floral foam, and i like that smell. i also love bleachy, clean bathroom smells, cleaning supply smells, the smell of lavender-scented fabuloso. i hope i don't sniff myself retarded.

10. do you get claustrophobic?
no.

11. do you get scared in the dark?
sort of. when the light's out, i still sleep with my back to the wall so i can see everything. and i don't like walking alone in the dark, but that's only because i've been thrice pickpocketed since coming to atlanta. under other circumstances, though, i love the dark.

12. number twelve is missing! i'll insert a question of my own: what does [insert name of w.com counterpart] have that you don't?
aughhhhhhh he's sooooooooooooooo much better with dialogue and he does a muuuuuuuch better job of relating everyday occurrences in a way that's accurate and incisive without being obnoxiously overanalytical. and he has, i guess, a penis.

13. what is your favorite cologne/perfume?
i can't wear strong scents because of marcus's allergies, but i really like "spring fresh" deodorants and axe and chanel no. 5 in all its generic, old-ladyish glory. and plumeria, i like plumeria.

14. what kind of hair do you like on the opposite sex?
clean-cut on kinky-haired guys, soft curls on those with more european blood. sometimes i find myself randomly, powerfully drawn to guys with well-tended locks. it all depends.

15. where can you see yourself being proposed to at?
holy mackerel. behind the prepositions, of course.

16. coffee or energy drinks?
neither, but, coffee, once in a while, when i'm superlatively stressed out. i drank nine cups at maggiano's on marcus's birthday, and had to stop to pee three times on the way home.

17. what is your favorite pizza topping?
mushrooms and bell peppers. the girl who took this survey before me says "sun-dried tomatoes"--where do they put sun-dried tomatoes on pizza???? have i missed something?????? the most delicious treat ever, and i've never been offered one on a pizza????????

18. if you can eat anything right now, what would it be?
learn to conjugate, survey! and i wouldn't eat anything, because i ate too much last night, and i still feel sort of icky, because of it. though i am dipping periodically into these m&ms.

19. who is the last person that made you annoyed?
my roommate, who just called to let me know her mom is coming here momentarily, without her. the implications of this are shitty and twofold: first off, it means i have to clean up a little bit; secondly, it means that awkward conversation will be required till i get to steal away for class at three.

20. do you speak a different language?
mais oui. je parle the spanditch.

21. what was the first gift someone ever gave you (of the opposite sex)?
michael, third grade, gave me an engagement ring, stolen from his older sister's dresser. i gave it back, if i'm not mistaken.

22. missing question! replacement: what is an observation that you're relatively sure no one but you has ever made before?
that one of the mowry twins (tia) is noticeably prettier than the other (tamara). i'm not actually that sure that no one but me has noticed, but, aaron hadn't, and anyone else to whom i've ever mentioned that has just wrinkled his or her nose in bewilderment, so, that's my answer.

23. missing question! make a snide remark to a known reader without naming him or her.
you are a hypocrite, and mildly evil.

24. missing question! what would you download if you had over a hundred free itunes at your disposal?
i don't know!! that's why i'm having such a hard time with it, whiiiinnnnnne.

25. missing question! insert your own question, and answer it here.
ummmm...what would you ask me, if you knew i had to answer?
i'd ask you why you're so fucking beautiful, smart, talented and wickedly awesomely cool. that's what i'd ask. (mildly existential, this. awesome. malkovich malkovich?)

26. missing question! what's the difference between a duck?
the other leg is both the same.

27. missing question (last one)! what name would you give your child, if there were no danger of negative connotations?
probably kailani, which, under the current circumstances, would probably give my husband pause. speaking of which, many thousand gift points to anyone who can guess her very appropriate middle name. (i have no gps, but no one will guess, so it's okay.)

28. would you fall in love knowing that the person is leaving?
i would try very hard not to. but i haven't got much self-control.

29. what is the best way to tell someone how much they mean to you?
through your actions, obviously.

30. say a number from one to a hundred.
no.

31. blondes or brunettes?
don't care, really. my extensive research has concluded that neither category technically includes people of color, so this is a prejudiced question, limited in scope and based on ethnic exclusion. my favorite disney princess is jasmine of agrabah.

32. what is the one number you call often?
most often, you mean? probably marcus's. krystle's would be a very close second.

33. what annoys you most?
blatant hypocrisy that demonstrates a staggering lack of self-awareness. poor hygiene and offensive eating habits. women who claim they "can't" get along with other women. the length of the drive to sean and od's house. marcus's flakiness. the strawlike texture of my hair ever since i let treesje put that styling gunk in it. substance abuse and chemical addiction. the fact that there's always something going on, and that i have to decide whether to participate, every time. funny-looking things that i want to scratch and dismember, like the suriname toad and the wolf spider. the overwhelming mess in my room right now. my roommate.

34. have you been out of your country?
yes.

35. your weaknesses?
i'm too hard on myself and on others. my expectations for the world are not particularly grounded, nor do they make sense, most of the time. i hate to study and i am not very nice in the morning. i can't write dialogue as well as aaron can. i don't care enough about my appearance. i've given up on certain things without a particularly admirable college try.

36. missing question...what are you doing right now?
leaving for my masculinity class, then getting my hair curled. back in an hour and a half.

37. first job?
camp counselor, camp atwater, springfield, massachusetts. my charges were first-graders, who, to my way of thinking, have no right being away from their parents for any extended period of time, much less four weeks. they cried and peed endlessly, i scrubbed mattresses every morning, and yet it was still one of the more rewarding experiences of my life.

38. ever done a prank call?
no.

39. what were you doing before you filled out this survey?
i can't remember now, but before the break between questions thirty-seven and thirty-eight, i was getting my hair washed and curled at sean and treesje's house. then watching them do their tommy-and-pamela act while i sat tightlipped and straightbacked on the sofa, trying not to cry or hurl my phone at the wall. a lot has changed over the past five hours, since i started this entry. a lot. there might another entry on this one's heels, for that reason.

40. if you could get plastic surgery what would it be?
a nose job for me, and a comma implant for that run-on question.

41. why did you fill out this survey?
because i was bored, and because the first couple of questions tricked me into thinking that this survey would be somehow unique. and because i always find that surveys sort of unlock the things i really want to talk about, when i can't seem to do that myself.

42. what do you get complimented about most?
my figure and my eyes. no, wait--my vocabulary. duh.

43. what would you do if alcohol became illegal?
rejoice, till i remembered that it wouldn't actually stop any of my friends from drinking. i hate alcohol. hate it.

44. what do you want for your birthday?
you missed it, sorry.

45. how many kids do you want?
none, i think.

46. were you named after anyone?
eighties pop singing sensation shannon, as well as my grandmother and the aunt who died on the day i was conceived.

47. do you wish on stars?
hells no.

48. what's your favorite figure?
the one with the diamonds, which, incidentally, is my right middle.

49. when did you last cry?
on my birthday. bad tears, not good.

50. do you like your handwriting?
i love my handwriting. i am inordinately, swell-headedly, ridiculously attracted to my own handwriting. i write everything out by hand first, for no good reason other than to have an excuse to look at it. tell them, aaron. tell them my handwriting is the eighth wonder of the world.

51. what is your favorite lunch meat?
swiss lorraine cheese.

52. any bad habits?
tons.

53. what is your most embarrassing cd on the shelf?
there is no shelf, but i always get a little tense when people flipping through my cd wallet get near the page with spice on it. even though, you know you have a copy too. you know you do. everybody does.

54. if you were another person, would you be friends with you?
it would depend on what other person. if i were someone really wicked awesome cool, i probably wouldn't waste my time. if i were sort of nerdy, sort of a reject in need of a good time and some leadership, then maybe. although, none of my friends are really nerds anymore. tina is the nerdiest, and she is way cooler than me. so.

55. missing question. what word best describes your mood right now?
"bleerrhghghghhhhhhhhhhhh."

56. do looks matter?
of course.

57. how do you release anger?
i cry and i talk and i cry and i talk. i'm a weeping willow and a chatty cathy, alternately. once in a blue moon i'll throw something. typically my phone or the tv remote, something like that. or i'll give a really aggressive hug.

58. where is your second home?
krystle's barcalounger.

59. do you trust others easily?
no, and with good reason. other people lie and cheat and generally suck.

60. what was your favorite toy as a child?
super nintendo entertainment system. sorry to disappoint.

61. missing question. how do you spell your first name?
n-o-s-n-n-a-h. that's the e.e. cummings way.

62. missing question. which "project runway" designer are you rooting for?
well i was rooting for andrae, harumph, but now i don't give a fuck so long as it's not santino, kara or chloe. so then, daniel, i guess.

63. do you use sarcasm?
no. i find it to be one of the baser forms of humor.

64. have you ever been in a mosh pit?
yes. i hated it.

65. what do you look for in a guy/girl?
the bigger heidi klum gets, on this show, the more she just sort of looks like a fat christie brinkley, just, less cute and with an accent. i'm deeply afraid of what maternity clothes will look like in ten years. deeply, deeply afraid.

66. what are your nicknames?
my answer to number forty-nine has just changed.

67. missing question.

68. do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
rarely. only when i'm making a big show out of it, for whatever reason, like if i'm wearing cute socks or something. otherwise i just kick them off, which is not hard to do, as all sevens are suddenly too big. my feet are shrinking.

69. mq.

70. what's your favorite ice cream flavor?
dulce de leche.

71.

72. what are your favorite colors?
forest green and royal purple.

73. how many wisdom teeth do you have?
two full ones, and two halvsies coming in. painfully. ouch.

74. who do you miss most right now?
that's whom, actually, and i don't. i am an island.

75. do you want everyone to answer these questions?
i'd love it if they would, but i can't think of a single person who's actually likely to make it through this thankless gauntlet. i'm regretting ever opening this window. and regret is a terrible, terrible feeling.

76. what are you listening to right now?
the weird hum of the air conditioning unit. and santino's really obnoxious monotone.

77. last thing you ate?
we're starting to repeat ourselves now. the strange thing is, my answer is the same this time as it was last time. m&ms. pink, red and white m&ms.

78. last person you talked to on the phone?
marcus.

79. the first thing you notice in the opposite sex?
smelllllllllllllllll god damn it.

80. where were you born?
alexandria, virginia.

81. scariest thing that has ever happened to you?
falling in love. worst thing, too.

82. favorite drink?
apple juice.

83. favorite joke?
not for mixed company.

84. what is your favorite sport?
swimming, i guess. i'm fully inept at all others. i like to watch my brother play basketball, though.

85. hair color?
dark brown--didn't i answer this already?

86. eye color?
dark brown--i definitely did.

87. do you wear glasses?
when i'm not wearing contacts.

88. siblings?
older brother, younger brother.

89. favorite month?
god damn it.

90. do you like sushi?
i'll take a good philadelphia roll anyday.

91. last thing you watched?
"project runway" is still on.

92. favorite day of the year?
my birthday, except when it sucks.

93. are you too shy to ask someone out?
apparently not.

94. summer or winter?
i hate being cold but i also hate school.

95. kisses or hugs?
i only kiss one person. hugs get more mileage.

96. relationships or one-night stands?
fuck this survey; i'm about to cut it off at the knees.

97. who/what do you secretly love?
your mother, every night.

98. how many people have you macked it with in the past year?
one, and badly.

99. what books are you reading?
mrs. dalloway and home to harlem, both for class.

100. where do you work?
up your ass.