Out of the Frying Pan

Adventures of Elwood & Mike - Part 5

Off we went, hand over hand, girder to girder, resting on the larger ones and increasing the distance between us and the water below. Again, we made it! Through a viewing hole we went, our hearts pounding with excitement, our eyes searching for our deserved reward, and there it was. Ever so delicately placed on the floor of the tunnel was...

A Spud wrench.

That’s right, a Spud wrench. For those that have never heard of such, a Spud wrench is used to align the holes in girders to insert a rivet or bolt. It has a ring shape on one end and its handle tapers almost to a point. A Spud wrench is heavy and is a little more than 15 inches long. Oh, boy. We had a Spud wrench, yeah.

We just sat there, a little disappointed, but did end up using the pointed end of the wrench to write our names, just like “Kilroy was here,” only we wrote “Elwood and Mike was here.”

When we finally decided it was time to get out from under that bridge, it suddenly occurred to us that we couldn’t exactly climb up the side, up and over the guard rail. We were directly under the part of the bridge where the toll booth was, and the toll booth operator would see us. We had to go back the same way we came, we had no choice.

Elwood headed out of the viewing hole, swinging from the girders, and I was about ready to follow him when I heard a metallic sound to my right. Suddenly, a man’s head popped down and a voice yelled out, “What the hell are you doing in there?” He like to scared the life right out of me! The man barked for me to get over there. When I came closer to the end of the tunnel, I saw that the man had opened a hatch. Until he’d opened it, you couldn’t even tell it was there, not from the inside nor from the outside. Man, that would have made things much easier.

To get back up on the top of the bridge, I had to come up between him and the fencing on the side, and he helped me over the top pipe. The man had on a large leather belt with two straps that hooked to the side of the bridge. At least he didn’t have to worry about falling. I didn’t even hear some of what the man was saying to me, all I could think about was that Elwood was still hanging on a girder outside that viewing window.

I did hear some of what he was saying, like how stupid I was and was I trying to kill myself. I thought for sure he was going to call the police, but instead he just marched me off the bridge. The one thing that struck me funny (but I didn’t laugh out loud) was when he said, “If I ever catch you on this bridge again, I’ll throw you off myself!” I could have lost my grip at any point and cut this middle man out anyway.

After the man went away, I just kept looking to see Elwood. I didn’t hear a splashing sound, so that was a good sign. We had a place where we would meet up if at any time we got separated, so I went directly there to wait. Finally, here came Elwood, laughing at me because I got caught. I was relieved to see he was still alive. I asked how he got off of there and he told me that after hearing that guy yell, he probably out-swung Tarzan back to the first tunnel. He found the hatch, waited a few minutes, then climbed up over the rail and ran back like the Devil was a-chasing him, back to the Kentucky shore. He said he rested for a bit and then just walked back across.

Elwood said he had something to show me. I followed him as he retraced his steps a little ways, and there were our fishing poles. He had that sparkle in his eye and a grin on his face, so I looked closer.

There with the fishing poles was that dang Spud wrench.