Go Ahead and Ask Me

Huh...

I've got the 'I don't belong anywhere' bug. I don't like the feeling. And I'm being whiney again.

As long as I'm being whiney, though, I'm gonna whine about what's on my mind lately: Family. It seems like almost everyone on campus has a mom and a dad who they are still in contact with. Whenever they want or need to, they can call up and chat with Pop or Mama.

I don't know, I've just been really sensitive about the whole thing, lately. From dumb things to Hannah's dad calling her and asking her if her boyfriend knows that he has a shotgun, to more important things, like Gwen's dad taking care of her in any circumstance.

I know, I know. At least I've met my dad. I even lived with him for a while. He even gave me a pet name, once. I'm lucky, and I know it. I mean it. But I can't help but wish for better times.

I've learned that nobody will ever be what you want them to be. With Mom, it's especially true. This is her first time living alone in 54 years of life. She's incredibly needy, she calls Jordan twice a week for help with something, and Lank still lives at home, so he can help her with the little things. (He doesn't count as 'living with someone' because he's the baby and acts like it sometimes... He's not her caretaker, basically)

I can't help but wish that Dad would pop by one day bathed, drug-free, healthy, that he'd have a job, that he'd be in a good mood (so as not to yell at me or insult me), and that he'd just say, "Hey hun, let's go have some quality father-daughter time." Unfortunately, due to his history, if that happened, I wouldn't be able to trust him. I'm not even going to mess with that one.

So, yeah. I'm going to go and have a hectic day. I've got freetime from 6-9:30..... Then it's to work.

Oh, before I go, I'd like to share the handle that I can't use but would love to:

In Knee Brie Ate Ted

Definitely not E








Will I see you in Part II? Can we pick up where we left off when I lost you? And we fall in love again. Change the way the story ends. We bring back me and you in Part II.

-In Knee Brie Ate Ted