Straight No Chaser

Now Begins the Promised Survey Deluge

1. if you won the lottery, would you consider donating a percentage of the money?
definitely. depending on the size of the win, several thousand dollars would probably go to the united negro college fund, and then to my college and my brother's, then some to aids research, and then i'd look into a few reputable charities, and then the rest would be mine.

2. would you consider getting botox injections to your armpits to decrease sweating?
i certainly wouldn't, but i know a few people who should consider it. but, ew, that's gross.

3. do you wear a lot of corduroy?
not now, but in sixth grade i had this ugly yellowish-brown corduroy jumper that my mom used to make me wear to school sometimes, because she apparently didn't care whether i had any friends or not, or how lame i looked, so long as i was color-coordinated.

4. does the weather have a very large impact on your moods?
maybe so, but not metaphysically. the implications of the weather on any particular day are what give me moods. cold means no tank top. rain means no marcus. things like that.

5. if you had a child, do you think your child would have any reason to be ashamed of you?
whether or not it was a legitimate reason, i think he'd almost definitely be ashamed of me at some point in his life, because every child is, even if only mildly.

6. do you buy eggnog around the holidays?
no.

7. did you play cowboys and indians when you were a small child?
i guess my parents probably told me it was racist or something, plus i never got the point, even when it was explained to me. it seemed like the cowboys would always be in pursuit of the "indians," which would lead to the game always ending the same way, and being very unfun and unsatisfying. plus i didn't like getting dirty.

8. do you watch your neighbors from your windows?
my bedroom window looks back on a lot of trees.

9. do you live within five miles of a lake?
i don't think so, but i've never looked at a map of the area or anything. i'm pretty sure they don't put lakes so close to the ocean or the bay.

10. do you believe that personality is everything?
whatever the fuck that means, i guess so.

11. when someone says they love you, do you naturally want to say it back, even if you don't mean it?
hell no, i hardly want to say it even to the folks who say it to me every day, and mean it. you'd think i'd had one of those scarred childhoods where love came in short supply or something. i didn't.

12. do you have any real reason to be depressed?
no more so than anyone else does.

13. do you have more respect for the united nations or the united states?
the united nations.

14. is it conceited to consider oneself unique?
no, because everyone is unique. it's conceited to consider oneself superior, probably, except in areas of obvious measurable superiority. it's not conceited for me to consider myself a faster typer than most of my classmates. it would be conceited for angelina jolie to consider herself the most beautiful woman in the world.

15. would it fill your heart with joy to see other people crying for you?
when it happens, it's usually because i'm deeply unhappy about something already, and there's never much room for joy, there.

16. do you think the war in iraq will end in 2005?
i don't know, but i'll sure keep my fingers crossed!

17. do you know anyone who has ever been held hostage?
no, but a girl i went to high school with almost got raped by a stranger in her own car, once.

18. if your teenage son impregnated a girl, would you force him to do whatever it took to support her?
hopefully it wouldn't happen before he was sixteen or seventeen, and by that age i'd hope he'd had enough time to learn right from wrong to the point where he wouldn't need my prompting to do right by someone he'd been having sex with. but if he tried to drag his feet, then yeah, i'd definitely put my foot in his ass, firstly because it'd be the right thing to do, and also because i'd want to have an open relationship with my grandchild.

19. are angels creepy?
the cracked porcelain ones on people's mantles are.

20. do you think the new england accent is annoying?
it holds some ugly associations, for me, but there's nothing annoying about it, no.