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Getting Information Down the Road

It's very difficult to gauge how fast information will travel from one point to another. I'm not talking about Internet connection speed. I'm talking about medical information that needs to get from one point to another.

I thought the hold up would be my tendency to procrastinate, so I retrieved my two previous mammogram x-rays from the imagining center last Monday. I delivered them to my internal medicine doctor at the Baylor Medical complex in Dallas, Texas, before the close of business on March 6th. Today is Friday, the 10th.

I was in error when I took the x-rays to my doctor. Silly me! He's not the one to deal with the information first. The radiologist who read the x-ray showing the questionable breast spot was the person I should have delivered the information to. With the passage of five business days, the x-rays have yet to reach the new Sammons Cancer facility, located about five miles north of Baylor.

If anything can go wrong, it will. My doctor's nurse assumed that I had the imaging done at the Sammons Building located in the Baylor complex. I didn't. When I talked to her on the phone this afternoon, she said she sent the information to Sammons on Tuesday. A person could have walked the distance in 15 minutes.

I don't know what sort of courier service is used by different doctors. I'll attest to the fact that this doctor's isn't very speedy. When I spoke to a clerk at Sammons at Baylor today, she said the files had just arrived Friday afternoon.

During our discussion about my situation, the clerk at Sammons at Baylor noted that the x-rays needed to be at the Sammons center new north location. With any luck at all, she sent them out before the close of the business day on Friday. The clerk didn't actually state that she would, if one were to get technical. I suppose at some point in time, she'll get around to it.

Thinking I would alert someone at the new Sammons center to be on the lookout for my information, and perhaps find out some general information on how procedures unfold, I called the phone number for Sammons north, and was faced with seven options for connection to the correct department. I guessed option three, and I received a recording asking me to state my name, phone number, and the nature of the call.

I gave my name, spelling my last name, and my phone number. Luckily the device didn't have a short time limit on it. I wanted to tell the whole story, and I hadn't rehearsed it in my brain.

"Please call me back as soon as you possibly can. I had a mammogram done at your location on Wednesday, March 1st. My doctor called me two days later, last Friday afternoon, and told me that there was a spot 3/8 inch round, in an irregular shape, that looked suspicious."

It's my opinion that if my doctor were really compassionate, he wouldn't have called me until Monday. What can be done in the last two hours of business on a Friday afternoon? I suppose doctors don't think like that. I should be glad that he doesn't procrastinate. It's just that he ruined my outlook for the weekend, when I couldn't do anything about the situation except start worrying, and reading information on the Internet.

"I obtained my last two mammogram results from diagnostic imagining, and hand carried them to my doctor on Monday afternoon. His nurse sent the records to the other Sammons Building, but they are being sent to your office. Please call me back this afternoon if you possibly can."

"I don't know what to do, who to call, and my anxiety level is boiling like a volcano. I thought my doctor would call me back with some sort of information this week, and he didn't, so I called his office today. I'd like to talk to someone in your office so I'll know a little about what's going on."

I stated my name and number again. I made the call between 1:00 and 2:00. I stayed within earshot of the phone till after 6:00. Nobody called.

By now I'm in a different state of mind from a week ago. I wouldn't say I feel better, but I feel less intense. It occurred to me that I'd heard about "stages" before. Finally I remembered reading On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.

When a person is faced with a loss, they will experience these feelings, though not necessarily in the order stated. I've added two stages from a list of stages of recovery, because I feel that those stages are some of the ones I've experienced so far.

Denial

Anger/Resentment

Guilt

Bargaining

Depression

Forgiveness

Acceptance

Recovery

I didn't believe I could get breast cancer, especially when I just quit smoking. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I've been angry about every little thing that has gone wrong for the past week. I've spent more time trying to sleep than usual. I haven't had the initiative to start any new projects, to the point that the dust and pet hair have visibly begun to accumulate.

I've cried about the passing of my twenty year old kitty. I've cried while watching sad movies. I've paid special attention to statements made on television this week about people with lung cancer feeling guilty for causing their own problems. I've had a very busy week emotionally, but in actuality I have accomplished very little this week. I've taken a lot of time to think, mope, and fear the worst.

Having made some effort to alleviate my confusion by making phone calls and asking questions, I moved out of a stage or two. Even though I didn't get any answers, I feel better for having asked. I think I read that you may experience stages more than once.

I much prefer to stand back from the situation and analyze it, than to think about the possibility of having breast cancer at age 51. I feel like I'm stuck in emotional quicksand until some medical person calls my phone number. In an age of instant gratification, having patience is not an easy thing.

I taught 6th grade for many years. It's a difficult age for the students, and the teacher. One of my peers told me once that she admired the amount of patience I had. I replied that I didn't consider myself that patient, but it made me feel better about myself.

So many thing are just a matter of perspective. I've done all I can at this point. My job now is to sit back, be patient, and not worry.

I have a pet article in mind, and if I focus my attention on writing about another subject, time will pass more easily. To quote a saying that applies to my life, I need to "let go, and let God." I'm going to work on keeping a good attitude over the weekend, and hope that God wants someone to call me very early in the week