Off the Cuff / My Other Journal

Me? Face a Rhino? No way!

This is the travel brochure I received in the mail, yesterday:

"Horseback safaris for an adventurer like YOU!
Malavi is an African destination. A Heart of Africa Safari can be arranged for you and your companion by your Tour Guide at..." Hahahahaha!

If there is one place I am afraid to go, it is Africa. I already met elephants and other animal life at petting zoos, observed the wildest creatures in their cages, and have commiserated with their misfortune. In theory, I get along well with wildlife; however, no one will put me on horseback, have the horse canter into the middle of a far-off place where elephants, wild felines, and hippos commune, and make me rub noses with that wildlife.

I love to travel, but give me a comfy hotel room or at least a safe enough place. If I were to push myself, I might even succeed to face heat and cold, but I would never volunteer to put myself on remote hills, secluded concaves, slushy jungles (which I have been to one, already. Thank you!) to approach the abode of wildlife and mingle with them up close and personal.

I don't need to get that personal with anybody, as much as I love to read Thoreau. After all, a wild black or white rhino is no bluebird, and it would not be very pleased to see me either, even if it didn't know the feeling was mutual.

I'll leave such expeditions to Hemingway wannabes. I can neither write like Hemingway, nor like Thoreau, anyhow. Then, maybe others can, if they are able to stand up to the height of a giraffe and look him in the eye.