Breathing Room

Dream Reality

This morning Dave woke up to tell me that he had a bad dream that was about me cheating on him with a friend of his from college. I know this guy since we had a lot of the same friends although he was more of an aquaintance to me and a good friend of Dave's. The thought that I would EVER even hook-up with this guy is extremely laughable. I mean really. But eventhough Dave knew this it affected him and he was looking for some kind of reassurnace that nothing was going on with me in general. This immediately annoyed me because somehow this dream morphed into questioning his level of trust for me. I snapped that obviously nothing was going on with me and treated him like he was nuts for even suggesting this because of a dream!

But as I went into the bedroom I recalled a serious life-like dream that I had of Dave being involved with several girls. Now when I woke up it seemed so real that I thought I was in the middle of it but as I washed my face and woke up I knew that obviously the dream wasn't really especially since it had involved Dave jumping up and down on the bed laughing hysterically as I confronted him about 6 different girls...the fact is I was a little shook up and though I absolutely knew it wasn't true and I could trust him I wanted his reassurances of his love for me which he gave sincerely and lovingly.

I went back out to the living room where he was doing his morning work-out and apologized. I assured him that he was the one for me and that I appreciated his compassion when these situations are reversed. He does so much better than me many times in being compassionate and I know its something I need to work on. Self-less love looks a tough goal for me to reach at the moment.