Swingerella

Scene 2

Scene 2

The lights go up on DANIELLE, standing C, clad still in the same bathrobe. She is staring out at the audience.

DANIELLE
How can she expect this of me? I was never like her when we were kids, and now I'm even less! I’m the quiet one, remember? I can’t just go out and pick up random beautiful boys! That’s her thing! My thing is usually sitting in the corner being awkward.
(she pauses, pondering what she just said)
But maybe I don’t want to do that anymore.. (grins slightly) Maybe I’m just the slightest bit excited about this.
(she pauses again, biting her lip nervously, her eyes bright)
Before I know it, night falls again, and even in my family’s house I feel like I’m alone…

NATALIE
(offstage)
Danielllllllllllle!!!!!!!!

DANIELLE smiles.

DANIELLE
Well, almost, anyway.

NATALIE skips onto the stage in a stunning strapless red dress.

NATALIE
Sweetie, still wearing that ratty thing?!?!

DANIELLE
(deep breath)
Not exactly…

She takes off the robe, revealing a cute, if slightly understated, blue sundress. NATALIE coos.

NATALIE
Look who's adorable!

DANIELLE laughs quietly, slightly embarrassed.

DANIELLE
Does it look okay?

NATALIE
(affectionately)
Sweetie, you look like you're going on a picnic!

DANIELLE rolls her eyes.

DANIELLE
(attempting to change the subject)
Not exactly what I was going for, but I guess I’ll take it. When are your friends getting here?

NATALIE
They said they'd meet us. Come on!! I can't wait to introduce you!

NATALIE grabs DANIELLE'S hand and yanks her downstage towards SR. As she does so, the lights fade on into hot oranges and yellows, with a hint of green lightly tinting the air and smoke curling across the stage floor. Shadowy silhouettes of people swing dancing with each other begin to stretch across the background.

DANIELLE
(narrating)
I don't know when exactly it happens… but soon…

NAT slips away into the thickening smoke.

DANIELLE
I lose her.

DANNY is suddenly standing alone, in the center of the stage, while the dark dancing pairs melt into life and surround her, music slowly filling the air.

DANIELLE
(sighing in frustration)
It figures that I, of all people, am alone even in a crowded room.

DANIELLE crosses her arms over her chest.

DANIELLE
(nervously)
What have I gotten myself into..? Nat-

Before she can call for her sister, a tall young man, the MYSTERY DANCER in a black pinstripe suit, wearing sunglasses and a fedora that hide his face, swoops in and snatches DANIELLE into a dance. They move together as if DANNY has been swing dancing her entire life. The music swells into a wild crescendo, and the two of them are soon flying across the floor. As the song gradually softens and ends, the magic slows, and when it ends, DANIELLE and MD stand C, facing each other. She stares up at him, an awestruck child.

DANIELLE
(sputtering)
N..Nice to m..meet you…

MD leans slowly forward, inches away from DANIELLE'S face, about to speak, when NATALIE'S voice pierces the air.

NATALIE
Danny! THERE you are!

At the sound of her sister's voice, DANIELLE turns 180 degrees to NATALIE'S direction. When her back is turned, a mass of swing dancers emerges from the background and engulfs MD.

NATALIE
I'm so sorry, sweetie! You know how these clubs are- you turn your head for a minute and you can get completely pulled apart from your group!

DANIELLE
(grins, slightly dazed)
It's okay! I somehow managed to survive.

She turns her head and, seeing that he has vanished, her face drops.

NATALIE
(laughs)
Just barely! (yanks her along) Now come on, my friends really want to meet you!

NATALIE drags her sister SR, and as they approach the lights softly go up to reveal a group of twenty-somethings, all frozen in the middle of conversation. NATALIE and DANIELLE walk into the middle of the semi-circle of people, and DANIELLE folds her arms across her chest, intimidated.

DANIELLE
(shyly)
I don't know if they're going to like me…

NATALIE
Oh don't be silly darling! You're my sister! They have to like you!

DANIELLE lifts an eyebrow.

DANIELLE
Oh good! I was worried they’d like me for me or something.

NATALIE
(not listening)
We're here!!!!

The group instantly explodes into life, chattering and friendly. A swarm of intensely animated girls surrounds DANIELLE.

TRACEY
Oh my gosh, YOU'RE Nat's sister?! You look JUST LIKE HER! I'm Tracey, her roommate!

LACEY
Oh come on, Trace! She doesn't look ANYTHING like Nat! Hi, I'm Lacey!

DANIELLE smiles and shakes her hand as yet another girl jumps on her.

STACEY
WHOOO! Nat's little sister is HOTTTT!!!! (grins) Hey… I'm Stacey, and I'M KIND OF DRUNK! OW OW! NAT BABY! (darts over to NATALIE)

DANIELLE laughs nervously and the other girls roll their eyes. Three more of her friends, slightly mellower and clad in pastel cocktail dresses, approach her and extend their hands.

ALLIE
I'm Allie, this is Lauren, and this is Lindsey. (whispers) We're Nat's normal friends.

LINDSEY
So you're her sister? You really do look a lot like her. That's not complete BS.

LAUREN
Lindsey! Be nice!

LINDSEY
This IS me being nice! (smiles sweetly at DANIELLE) Great to meet you, sweetie, now if you’ll excuse us, there are three semi-attractive men over there who I’m sure are just itching to dance with us! Kisses! Come on girls!

They scamper offstage. DANIELLE watches them.

DANIELLE
(to herself/the audience)
It’s like they’re lions, going in for the kill. (shakes head) I never understood why some girls act like boys are the be-all-end-all of existence.

GIRL
They're fun aren't they?

DANIELLE turns in the direction of a girl wearing glasses and a black jumpsuit, sitting at a small round table. The girl smiles and extends her hand.

GIRL
I'm Rose. Yet another friend of Nat's. (smiles) I bet you love being compared all the time. I know I would.

DANIELLE
(rolls eyes)
It's not too bad…

ROSE
Now say it with a straight face.

DANIELLE smirks.

DANIELLE
I guess it could be worse.

ROSE
Yeah. You could be the sister of someone like….. Paris Hilton.

DANIELLE cringes, and they both laugh.

ROSE
This the first time you've come out?

DANIELLE
Yeah… I needed to get out of my house. (shrugs shoulders) Times are stressful lately.

ROSE
I know what you mean. (waves arm over head for melodramatic effect) We're so young, and supposedly so carefree, but are in actuality incredibly burdened at the same time. It's the ultimate tragedy.

DANIELLE stares in awe. ROSE grins sheepishly.

ROSE
Sorry. I like to act. However badly.

DANIELLE
How do you hang out with my sister?

ROSE laughs.

ROSE
I guess I just really love the atmosphere here. It seems so otherworldly, like you're taking a step backward in time. I mean, look at them!

ROSE motions to a middle-aged man and wife, wearing outfits of matching red and yellow colors. He wears black trousers and suspenders while she wears an explosion of frills and fringe, topped off by a pair of Mary Janes. The song is slow and the couple is intertwined in each other's arms. While ROSE continues, DANIELLE stares, mesmerized.

ROSE
Look like they came right out of the '40's right? The truth is he used to be a huge hotshot on Wall Street. Buying, selling, buying, selling, until finally he just stopped. No reason why- he was apparently great at his job. He just… quit, and opened up this place.

ROSE and DANIELLE watch them quietly for a beat.

ROSE
She was one of the first people who walked in here. Now they've got three kids. Married over 25 years. They single-handedly turned my cynical self into a bleary-eyed hopeless romantic.

DANIELLE
(mystified)
Why did he open this bar?

ROSE
(shrugs)
It was just what he wanted to do.. Gotta give him credit, he did a great job pulling this thing together. Not that there aren't a few creepy regulars around here though.

ROSE nods in the direction of a 60ish year old man, dressed in a navy blue full length leotard and leopard print sweater vest. He is "grapevining" across the stage, after having previously asked three or four teenage girls to dance and being met each time with refusal. One hand is on his stomach, the other in the air, and a sick smirk is on his face.

ROSE
Have you met Lovely Lucille yet?

DANIELLE'S eyes widen.

DANIELLE
Uh……

ROSE
His real name is David. Accountant by day, Lucille by night. He likes to dance with girls old enough to be his grandchildren, even though everyone's pretty well convinced that he doesn't swing that way.

DANIELLE
Oh, someone's punny!

ROSE
(rolls eyes and laughs)
Don't let him…. her…. freak you out about this place. Almost everyone who comes here loves it… (thoughtfully) I made up a poem about it once.

DANIELLE
You write?

ROSE
(grins)
Not well, doll face, but yeah, I do. I don't remember how it went exactly off the top of my head. I don't wanna toot my own horn, but it was pretty good.

A boy in a checkered zoot suit hops up to her, holding out a hand.

ZOOT SUIT BOY
Want to dance?

ROSE grins and turns to DANIELLE.

ROSE
I'll remember the rest later. Catch you around!

DANIELLE
Nice meeting..

ROSE is gone before she can finish.

DANIELLE
It’s funny how that works out here. One minute you’re chatting, the next minute you’re watching someone swing across the floor in the arms of someone she doesn’t know.
And then you start to think about whoever once swept you up…

She looks around for MD as LUCILLE swaggers creepily up to her, extending a hand.

LUCILLE
You wanna… (leans in too close) cha-cha?

As she looks at him, everyone around her freezes in place, including LUCILLE. The music stops.

DANIELLE
My first reaction is, no, that I would rather drink a bottle of Liquid Plumr before even considering it…. But as I look around, and see how solely wrapped up in themselves the rest of the place is, I think.. What the hell? It's one dance, free of dates, promises, or marriage proposals. And if it’s terrible, at least I can laugh about it later.

The club explodes back into life, and LUCILLE is still waiting.

LUCILLE
How about it?

After a pause, DANIELLE smiles.

DANIELLE
Sure.

He smirks, a mix of sick pleasure and genuine enthusiasm. Soon they are dancing, and one can easily why he is called the "slithery man"; his arms and hands travel every inch of her back, while she follows stiffly, eyes wide in terror.

As the song continues, LUCILLE'S face grows venomously closer to hers while his eyes fix her unblinkingly. At the last possible moment when she thinks he might kiss her, MD swoops from seemingly nowhere and steals her away, much to LUCILLE'S pouting dismay. The cha-cha ends and Frank Sinatra’s “I’ve Got You Under My Skin” plays. DANIELLE laughs.

DANIELLE
(breathless)
Thanks for saving me.

MYSTERY DANCER
(shrugs)
Do what I can.

DANIELLE
(stumbling over words)
I… I don't… Wha…? Who are-

MYSTERY DANCER
(puts a finger to her lips.)
Stop thinking. Just dance, doll baby.

He wraps an arm around her waist, wraps his fingers around hers, and they slow dance cheek-to-cheek, until the song is over. When it ends, they pull apart and DANIELLE stares at him, squinting, unable to see his face.

DANIELLE
(whispers)
Thank you…

He bows, tipping his fedora down past his sunglasses to her, before walking away. She stares longingly after him.

NATALIE
DANIELLE MURPHY!

DANIELLE freezes in her tracks, a deer caught in the headlights as NATALIE creeps up behind her, smirking.

NATALIE
I have two questions for you.. WHERE did you learn to dance like that, and WHO was HE??????

DANIELLE winces, closing her eyes.

DANIELLE
See.. uh… that's the thing. I don't really know, exactly.

NATALIE lifts an eyebrow.

NATALIE
Does he have a name?

DANIELLE
…I'm sure he does!

NATALIE
And you don't know anything else about him? Where he was born? Where he went to high school? How old he is? What he wants to do with his life?

DANIELLE
(grinning shyly)
It's hard when you're dancing..

NATALIE grins.

NATALIE
It all depends on the style of the dancing, sweetheart! If you're not completely wrapped up in the other person, talking becomes much easier than you'd think. (she leans her head back) GIRLS!

ALLIE, LINDSEY, and LAUREN, all bright-eyed and beaming, surround DANIELLE.

NATALIE
(too sweetly)
Would you guys mind watching my little sis for a minute? I need to… obtain some information.

She darts off after MD as three pairs of eager eyes fix on DANIELLE.

DANIELLE
(grins awkwardly)
So.. uh… how are you guys doing?

ALLIE
Fine. I'm just mad that it looks like none of the boys here want to dance with hot girls.

LAUREN
Except Natalie. God, they all dance with her.

ALLIE
I know. Look, she found a boy already.

LINDSEY
Ooh, look at him!

ALLIE
Um, can we say gorrrrrrrgeous?

DANIELLE
It's kind of dark in here… Can you even really see his face?

They all squint.

ALLIE
No. That makes him even hotter.

LAUREN
How does she do it?

LINDSEY
I mean look at her! She struts right up to him and whoosh!

LAUREN
They're probably already thinking up baby names.

DANIELLE
Uh… Actually…

The girls turn their heads to her.

ALLIE
What?

DANIELLE
I was dancing with him first.. She's trying to find out more about him for me.

LAUREN, LINDSEY
WHAT!

ALLIE
That's so cute! You've found a boy!

LAUREN
What's his name???

DANIELLE
…Uh, we don't really know for sure yet.

ALL GIRLS
WHAT!

DANIELLE
Why does no one seem to understand that it's hard to-

ALLIE
Look, if you're dancing with freaking Johnny Depp, you should scream at him until your voice gives out to get a name! I don't care how loud the music is!

LINDSEY
But I think if it's Johnny Depp, you pretty much know what his name is..

ALLIE rolls her eyes.

ALLIE
Shut up! I’m serious!

LINDSEY
(mockingly)
Yes! We must leave no cute boy unturned!

LAUREN
(equally teasing)
Um, I think you mean stones.

LINDSEY
Oh, then we must leave no cute boy unfu-

ALLIE
Um, omigod, shut up!

LAUREN
Natalie! (rushes over to her after she and MD finish) Oh my gosh, tell us everything!

NATALIE shrugs her shoulders disappointedly.

NATALIE
He must have thought I was slow or something. We barely did anything at all, just kind of swayed back and forth and around and around in the same circle the whole time!

LINDSEY
Name?

NATALIE
(puts a hand on her forehead)
Uh.. I know he said it, but I couldn't hear it.

DANIELLE
Oh my God, look who's talking now!

NATALIE
Shut up! It was har-

ALLIE
Hard to hear! Natalie, for the Lord's sake!

NATALIE
Uh… It started with a B.. or maybe a D… I don't know!

LAUREN
Well did you find out anything else?

NATALIE
(shakes head no)
It was really weird! I kept asking him stuff, and the only kind of reply I got was him shrugging.

LINDSEY
(way too enthusiastically)
Maybe he's mute!

ALLIE
(rolls eyes)
Sure, that would make sense!

NATALIE
And the thing was… (looks sneakily at Danielle) It felt like he kept looking over his shoulder… at you.

The other girls giggle and chatter excitedly.

DANIELLE
(rolls eyes)
You have to say that because you're my sister!

NATALIE
Oh come on! I don't have to say it! I could be a heinous bitch about it and try to steal him away from you, but that's not my style. (grins) AND even if I had tried to do THAT, it wouldn't have worked on a guy like him.

DANIELLE
What do you mean "a guy like him?"

NATALIE
(slyly)
You know. The type that's very very particular about what they want, and when they see it, you can't shake them.. (she grins widely and winks obviously) Get it?

ALLIE
God, Natalie, for someone so fabulous, you are such a complete spaz sometimes.

NATALIE bats her eyelashes dramatically.

NATALIE
Oh but you love me anyway!

She wraps her arms around the three girls.

NATALIE
Now, darlings, we are going to march up to that bar, grab the cutest people we can find, and set that dance floor on fire!

She darts her head back and grins at Danielle.

NATALIE
While YOU go up to that boy and ask for another dance.

NATALIE and her entourage leave DANIELLE alone. She looks through the crowd, searching for MD, when she accidentally bumps into a tall, 20ish boy, dressed in a white blouse shirt, grey vest, tie, and black dress slacks. DANIELLE yelps.

DANIELLE
Sorry!

BOY
(teasing)
Hey watch it lady!

DANIELLE
(flustered)
I’m sorry I’m sorry.. did I spill your drink? ..Did you have a drink? God, I’m a spaz sometimes.

BOY
Honey! It’s okay! (smiles) I was just giving you grief. What’s your name?

DANIELLE
Danielle.

BOY
(coyly)
Wellllllll, Danielle, that was pretty cool dancing you were doing over there. I was impressed.

She smiles.

DANIELLE
Thanks.

He extends his hand.

BOY
I'm Greg. Why haven't I seen you around here earlier?

DANIELLE
How do you know I haven't been here?

GREG
Because I would have seen you. (beat) Everyone knows everyone else here. It's like Cheers, with a lindy hop.

DANIELLE smirks.

DANIELLE
Are you aware of how cheesy you just sounded?

GREG
I'm serious! And plus, you have that glow about you that just screams "newbie."

DANIELLE
(defensively)
What's wrong with glowing?

GREG
Nothing! You just look naïve is all… So you know Natalie?

DANIELLE
She’s my sister. Are you good friends with her?

GREG
..Not really. Actually I really don't think she likes me at all.

DANIELLE
Oh… Why do you say that?

GREG
Well.. I'm kind of the polar opposite of her and her friends, and they don't like me either. I'm kind of a loner, and they like to cling together.

DANIELLE
(defensively)
You say it like a bad thing.

GREG
It's not. Not really. But neither is being alone.

DANIELLE
Some people find being alone terrifying.

GREG
Do you?

Pause. DANIELLE is wringing the life out of her skirt, like a little girl.

DANIELLE
(quietly)
Yeah…

GREG
(shrugs)
It's not all that bad. Some people, like me for one, find having to make inane small talk completely terrifying. I don't see how you can stand it.

She takes a deep breath.

DANIELLE
I can't…

GREG
Well, then why do you do it?

DANIELLE
I don't know. Maybe because if I don't, people will think I'm weird or antisocial.

GREG
Well, if that were ever the case, you'd be in the same boat with me, and I can be pretty friendly sometimes.

DANIELLE smiles.

DANIELLE
It's nice to meet you.

GREG
(amazed)
Wow.. You actually meant that.

She smiles again before NATALIE'S shriek pierces the air.

NATALIE
THERE is my beautiful sister! (grabs her arm) What are you doing in this corner all by yourself? There are still SO many people you need to meet!

As her sister drags her away, DANIELLE looks curiously behind her at GREG. Their eyes lock and he smiles slightly, shrugging his shoulders before dissolving into the crowd.

NATALIE
(whispering)
Darling, you need to stay away from him! He's a bit of an outcast, and so emo that it's a wonder the boy doesn't yank out his own eyeballs!

DANIELLE grimaces.

DANIELLE
He doesn't seem that bad…

NATALIE
(darkly)
First impressions can be very deceiving…
(perks up instantly)
Yes, not good for my little sissy! Especially when there is that DELIGHTFUL boy who keeps dancing with you!

“Sing, Sing, Sing” wails in the air as the MD swirls into center stage with a darkly beautiful girl dressed in a black, flapper-esque outfit with a long strand of pearls that reaches her stomach. She and MD dance beautifully together, more so than even he and DANIELLE. The rest of the club turns and watches them, awestruck. As he dips her and she lifts her leg effortlessly into the air, DANIELLE is at once wild with envy.

DANIELLE
…Who IS that?

NATALIE too is dumbfounded.

NATALIE
…I have absolutely no idea..

The sisters watch in silent bafflement as the MYSTERY DANCER and FLAPPER GIRL swirl effortlessly across the floor. As the song ends everyone exits the floor except DANIELLE, who stands still in the middle of the stage. The lights dim until a single spotlight is on her.

DANIELLE
(to the audience)
I'm not normally a jealous person.
I promise!
But… I don't know what happened that night.
She was beautiful.
Unreal.
Unearthly!
And he was… mesmerized.
I was in a cloud all the way home. A confused cloud that made me forget everything I heard, the second I heard it.

NATALIE appears SL and freezes. DANIELLE goes to her and sits in a chair beside her.

DANIELLE
(narrating)
When we got back home, Nat had to go through her mandatory recap of the night's events, while I tried best to do more than just smile and nod.

The lights illuminate SL, and NATALIE is trying to take her earrings off, looking into a phantom mirror.

NATALIE
I don't know what you're worried about, darling. You looked just as good as she did out there!
DANIELLE
(scoffs)
Not like her… She had him under a spell…. God! Why can't I just be like that! Why does something so effortless seem so insanely difficult??

NATALIE
The trick is in not trying too hard. Usually, if you pretend to have confidence, it comes along before too long.

DANIELLE
(mystified)
Really?

NATALIE
Sure! That, plus the right clothes, is all you need!

DANIELLE
..Do you think that would make me get over… him… sooner?

NATALIE
(sympathetically)
Darling, I think you made excellent progress tonight, but I think it's going to take more than one night to get over the blonde boy wonder.

DANIELLE
(reminiscing)
Yeah… Gosh I still remember when I first met him. I'd never seen that kind of hair before.

NATALIE
Psh, no one had! It was just a white shock! (slyly) Wait a sec… you told me you didn’t feel anything about him.

DANIELLE shrugs, catching herself.

DANIELLE
Maybe I just miss the idea of him. Or something.

NATALIE laughs, but DANIELLE is still staring forlornly. NATALIE sighs.

NATALIE
(putting her hands on DANIELLE's shoulders)
Sweetie, you were wonderful tonight. I'm gonna head up to bed. Night night.

She kisses her cheek before exiting. DANIELLE watches her leave, before moving her eyes back to her hands.

DANIELLE
It's not even about Nathan. He's just a pesky ghost. He'll be gone soon…

She looks up.

DANIELLE
It's about me.
I just want to be perfect. Charismatic. Fabulous. Chic enough to get away with wearing flapper clothes 80 years after they were in style. No wonder he was so enraptured!
How can I be like that?

She looks in the direction her sister has gone. After a few moments of silence, she faces the audience again, her eyes bright.

DANIELLE
(hopeful)
Thankfully there’s always next time.. Yeah…. Next time will be different.

Lights out. Exit DANIELLE.