Looking Around

Still looking... sort of

Most of my time lately seems to be hung up with not writing so much. Oh I crank out a note or two in my Journal, but when it comes to wanting to put anything here... well, let just say I get stumped. Part of the issue is just how public do I want to make some of my internal thrashings... most of which seem to bore even me (and I have a high tolerance for this sort of thing... just ask my boss and co-workers). He will be quick to tell you I have a high tolerance for hearing people out. Some times, it feels like I am giving folks a little free therapy, other times it is just tedious. And, sometimes it is just a little time spent before the facade breaks open and the real person shows through.

This very thing happened to me, for example, a couple of years back. I was in very deep financial straits. My dad died. I came home from the funeral to a potential divorce serving. My job moved me 90 miles to a deeply problemed store to run... all in about 30 days time. The divorce came through, the job turned out even worse and my credit cards hyped themselves on steroids. For the next two years, I was not in a very good frame of mind.

In an attempt to collect money owed... before I did a slam dunk bankruptcy, one of the agents got me on the phone. He literally hammered me for an hour and a half. He really gave me what for in the way of being a deadbeat and not paying my bills. It literally took me an hour and a half of harangue before I got a word in edgewise. He told me at one point that I was driving around in a $21,000 dollar car. It was a 6 year old Ford Taurus with about 90,000 miles on it at the time. I regret not offerring it to him for that amount of money and buying his airplane ticket to Atlanta to buy it for $21,000. It was all part of the harague.

Finally, I got a word in edgewise. I was able to then talk with the human being on the other end of the phone- explaining that my dad died, I came home from the burial to a divorce paper, and lost my job... I was not in a position to pay him anything. I could almost feel the breath leaving his mouth. He hung up, and in a very American manner, sold the account to some one else. My girl friend was sitting there listening to the entire conversation from myside, saying every 10 minutes, Why are you doing this, just hang up on him." When it was over she observed that I had more patience than any one she has ever seen.

That was about 6 years ago and I am back on track and being productive. She and I have since broken up and gotten back together. We will probably get married this year. And, I have a serious, on-going commitment to hear people out on stuff. I try to not be too judgemental about folks. And, ironically, as part of my job, I have to make those sorts of calls myself. I have to admit, it is an interesting circle to have to come around. And, I have learned that sometimes you just have to let things go.