Journal writings about my youngest son's journey with spina bifida |
Jack came through surgery wonderfully! The birthmark is gone and has been replaced with an inch or so long incision with stitches and steri-strip bandages. There's dried blood crusted underneath the bandages. I said he doesn't look any different right now, because he still has something right there! Poor little guy had a rough time coming out of the anesthesia. The nurses had told us that some kids come out of it with something called terrors. They scream and cry and don't really know what's going on. Sure enough, that's what happened with Jackson. The nurses actually came to get us and brought us to phase I recovery because he was crying so hard. When I held him and he snuggled up against me and calmed down to gulping sobs, I would have given anything to just walk out of there with him right then. Within a few minutes, they sent us over to phase II recovery and Jackson slept on either Dad or I for almost an hour. When he woke up after that, he was ready for business. He started drinking and talking and smiling. Sweet, sweet Jack. We got him dressed and took him down to the cafeteria for lunch. On the hour and a quarter drive home, he slept. At home, his brother and sisters were playing outside and so happy to see us. His dad took him inside the house while I started talking to the kids. When I came in, my husband asked me to feel Jack's head. He had a fever of 102.5 degrees. I tensed right up and got out the surgeon's call number. Jack, glassy-eyed and limp, lay on his dad's chest. The nurse I talked with said she didn't think it could be from the surgery that quickly, but she was going to confer with anesthesia and the surgeon and call me back. I love Mott's Children's Hospital. Within ten minutes she had called back after talking to the surgeon, who had consulted with anesthesia. They all agreed it was too soon for an infection from the surgery. The nurse told me to give Jack some more tylenol and try to get him through the night, comfortably, and bring him to his pediatrician in the morning. She said it was probably some infection that had been brewing before surgery. While talking with her the second time, Jack's temperature was up to 103.5 degrees and he threw up. I panicked while on the phone with her, but thankfully she calmed me down. She said it was common after surgery (and he had eaten a lot for lunch) and to wait to see if the tylenol took his temperature down. If it did, he could wait until morning. If not, he would have to be seen tonight. God graced us with a lower temperature of 102.7 and he began walking around the house and eating Grandpa's ice cream. Thank you, our Lord! We brought him to his pediatrician in the morning and, sure enough, he had an ear infection. From fear the night before, God let me know that He's in charge and even if something seems to be going so wrong, God is always in control and with Jack. He has proven this to us so many times that it seems so unloving of me that I still sometimes doubt Him. God, forgive me. You have been so faithful and so mighty. You have proven Your love and Your care over and over, especially with all that Jackson has been through. Forgive my worry and my fear. Forgive my doubting and my weakness. You are always with us. Always. Keep my faith and my trust strong and true. I love you, Lord. You are truly amazing! Amen. |