The Lion Tamer (Completed)

Chapter Fourteen - The Choice

“Are we going home now, Leo?” Eddie asked as he lowered himself into the passenger seat of the car.
“Yeah, we are,” he answered. He turned the key and heard the car rumble to life. He waited as a small family passed in front of his car. Eddie immediately began pulling out comic books from the brown paper bag that was on his lap.
“I need my medicine, Leo. I don’t feel right, you know?”
Leo nodded, saying nothing. He pulled the car out of the parking lot and onto the two-lane road. “We’ll get home real soon, hey?” He kept his eyes steady on the road as the afternoon light had slipped behind the growing clouds overhead. The colors of the road, the trees and the houses all were muted as if their life was being sucked away.
Few cars rolled past them on this road. Houses appeared far back and were swallowed up again as they passed by. Eddie fiddled with the radio but had no luck in getting anything other than a couple of country stations. One had Johnny Cash on, singing about some woman that he couldn’t find and Eddie kept it there.

Leo’s mind spoke as they moved along.
Well, you’ve really made up your mind about this, haven’t you? There is going to be only one person coming back to Philly and it won’t be Eddie and maybe that is actually a good thing. He can’t function in the real world, can he? Anyone who needs medicine to make it through each and every fuckin’ day is in a sad state, my friend. John is right about one thing and that is that their mother is going to need help getting along as she gets older. Who is going to do that, Eddie? He can barely take care of himself. Even if I satisfied John by blowing my own brains out, then what does that leave mom, a moron son who can’t support her? She’s been through enough without having to suffer her last years. I can’t do that to her. She’d understand if she knew the shit I was in. I’ll take care of her.
Eddie was humming to himself and Leo thought of Sandra, sitting behind the counter of her parents shop and it made his chest feel warm. She was probably back sitting down with her book cradled in her lap and her legs crossed and maybe tapping her finger against her lips as she read. Maybe she was thinking of him right now. Maybe she was having a hard time concentrating on the words because she couldn’t stop thinking of him.
Was Eddie ever going to experience that, the thrill of meeting someone like a Sandra? Not a chance in hell. The best he could hope for was that he could make enough money to buy more stupid fuckin’ comic books. John knows that and he probably knew all along which choice I’d make, what choice was there, really?
He reached into his pocket and his fingers grazed against the pistol. It felt heavy.
“I’ll be glad to see mom. Do you think she’s alright?” Eddie was gazing out the window again.
“I’m sure she’s fine,” Leo answered. He scanned the road ahead for a place that he could pull over. The houses and towns had drifted away behind them and the trees, dry looking and lonely, had marched up to the side of the road. They sped up hills and across straight tracks of the two-lane and Eddie continued to hum with the music from the radio.
The muscles in Leo’s arms ached dully and he realized that he had tightened his grip on the steering wheel. He took a breath and released. His mind raced along with the countryside, trying to find a place and a reason to stop but nothing came to his mind. He thought of the two of them playing as children, Leo tugging on his brother’s soft hand as he pulled him down the street to the playground that was a block from their home. He remembered seeing the dull look gradually come to Eddie’s eyes and after a few months it had consumed them and covered them like an opaque glaze. He never knew why Eddie suddenly became stupid and why it took longer to explain things to him. Why his mother cried in her bedroom after putting them to bed. He heard her, he heard her every night for months.
“Why? Why?” He could hear her softly saying to herself on the other side of the wall.
Leo protected his brother then and he would protect him now. He would protect him from DropDead and John.
Eddie might not know it, but I will keep those bastard from him, he thought.
“Hey Leo!” Eddie had yelled and pointed up the road. Leo squinted and in the grayness he saw a small clutch of deer ahead, by the side of the road. They sheltered themselves partly in the trees and there were a half-dozen of them, their eyes glowing as they turned their heads towards the sound of the approaching car. Leo slowed the car and pulled to the side, the gravely crunch of the tires finally resting quietly on the ground. Eddie rolled down his window and put out his head to better see the family of deer, which had scarcely moved from their spot.
“Never saw a deer before,” Eddie said. “Only in books, and that time at the zoo, remember?” He arched his neck further. “Come on, let’s try to get closer.” Eddie opened his door. A couple of the deer took a step back from them and one bolted into the trees and out of sight.
Leo opened his door and stepped out quietly. Eddie had already moved towards them, slowly and deliberately. He hushed them and held out his hand as he neared them. Another deer, one of the two large adults, turned and hopped further back under the cover of the woods. Eddie stayed motionless as the two remaining deer, one of the adults and one young fawn, stayed motionless and watching him. The strong muscles of the adult were flexing under the tawny fur. Leo stayed near the car and watched as Eddie got closer. Finally, the two turned and raced into the forest, leaping over a trench that paralleled the roadside and disappearing into the brown and gray thick woods.
Eddie followed, jogging into the place where they had gone, still able to hear their light footfalls on the dry forest floor. He smiled and raced in, calling to Leo to come with him. Leo quickly followed and the two delved into the woods, pushing branches aside and leaping over small rocks. Eddie was laughing and Leo tried to keep up, following the large shape of his brother. They ran for a hundred yards or more, Leo finally catching up to Eddie in a clearing of trees. Eddie was breathing hard, looking all around, his face flushed pink from the exertion. Leo was busy catching his breath, his hands on his knees, taking in gulps of air.
“They’re gone,” Eddie said. A crow cawed out faintly in the distance. “Can’t even hear them, you know?”
Leo said nothing, but reached into his coat pocket and wrapped his fingers around the pistol. Eddie’s back was to him. He still could see Eddie’s shoulders rising and falling with each deep breath.
Not in the back. He deserves more than that, for Christ’s sake, Leo thought.
Words wouldn’t come to him, not now. He pushed aside the thoughts that were trying to invade him right now; thoughts of playing together, thoughts of saying goodnight from beds near each other and thoughts of Captain America.
“Eddie?” was all that came out, softly from his lips, croaked and broken. Eddie didn’t move, still looking to the left and right for the deer.
“I was close to getting to touch them, wasn’t I Leo? Another couple of steps and-”
“Eddie,” Leo said again, louder. He felt himself trembling. A ball of warm metal felt lodged in his belly and his voice sounded distant and alien to him. Eddie slowly turned, still wearing a deep smile, the pink of his cheeks and chin slowly paling to normal. He pulled off his hat and wiped his face with it. As his breathing slowed his eyes fell on his brother. He blinked a few times and pointed to Leo, his smile wavering a bit.
Leo kept the gun low, not wanting to point it at Eddie. At that point, he knew, there would be no turning back so he kept it loose in his hand and aimed it at the ground.
“Leo, what-”
“Why did you have to screw it up, Eddie?” Leo asked, not able to keep from sounding like he was whining.
“What?”
“Why did you have to fuck it up?” Leo yelled. Eddie stood there, his arms out from his sides, silent; his face drawn with confusion and uncertainty.
“John is pissed,” Leo continued, “pissed like I’ve never seen him before, Ed. He already took care of Tommy and Danny and…” he broke off, looking down at the gun in his hand.
“But Leo,” Eddie started, he took a step.
“Don’t. Please Ed, this is hard enough right now. John says you gotta pay for your mistake,” he raised the muzzle of the gun toward Eddie. “I had to make a choice and it’s either this or…”
Or I die, too.
“No! Leo don’t!” Eddie bellowed and raced over the ground that separated them. He came fast, faster than Leo expected and charged. Leo hesitated but aimed and squeezed off a single shot that entered Eddie’s head right above the left eye. He saw a cloud of deep red as the bullet exited the back of his head. His expression did not change, but his head jerked a bit to the left at the impact and he stumbled, his momentum carrying him forward, his arms still out reaching for Leo. His eyes had spun for a second but then focused and he continued to lurch ahead. Leo kept the gun aimed as best he could and he pulled the trigger again and the second bullet hit Eddie in the shoulder, tearing off a small chunk of flesh. Still, Eddie screamed and charged, only a few feet away. Leo panicked and tried to aim again but only managed to blindly pull the trigger. Two more bullets hit Eddie, one in the chest and one in the gut. Eddie made a hollow whooping sound as he fell forward onto Leo and grabbed him. Leo pulled the trigger vainly twice more and the bullets fired off into the air as he was pushed down by the weight of Eddie, who had his hands tightly fisted onto his shoulders. Eddie collapsed onto him and placed his hands firmly around Leo’s throat and squeezed tightly. Their faces were only inches away from each other and a high-pitched sound was coming from Eddie and it sounded like crying to Leo. He tried to move his hands, but Eddie’s weight was pinning him down, his arms locked between them. He looked into Eddie’s face and saw tears and blood running down his face and heard heavy, labored breathing coming from him. The hands squeezed tighter. He tried to wrench his head back from the powerful grip but he couldn’t and soon he began to feel as if he was swimming. Sounds were becoming muted and he tried to blink his eyes back into focus to see Eddie again. He heard sobbing now, but it was getting weaker and the weight of his brother was making him numb. Eddie’s head had sunk down a bit but his grip had not loosened and Leo made a desperate push to make him release but he had no strength left. He had a flash of Sandra, still sitting behind the counter and looking to the door each time it opened to see if it was him. He wanted to speak, to tell Eddie that he was sorry but no sound could come out. His mouth hung open and the sky began to darken. He slipped out of light and sound and welcomed the darkness.
Eddie couldn’t move. He felt numb all over and his legs felt wet. His mind swam and he felt as if he kept waking up and falling asleep quickly. He remembered back when he was young, when he woke up one morning after having rolled over on his arm in the night. When he awoke, he couldn’t move or feel his arm and it terrified him, he remembered crying. Leo smiled at him and helped him move it around until the feeling came back. Leo was always looking out for him. He was a good brother, wasn’t he?
Eddie welcomed the darkness too, and he soon fell silent in the woods. His arms fell from Leo’s throat and rested around him in an embrace.