Journal

Widowhood.

The main character in my book is a young widow, her husband is killed right at the beginning, and so I'm using a hell of a lot of material and the like that I've amassed whilst working as an embalmer, and also from back when I was a nurse. I know that sounds really depressing, but it's not, it's a positive book about death, I really do think there can be such a thing, but it's not easy!
Plus, I keep trying to 'be' her, and I keep trying to imagine what would happen if my husband died. I've held so many widows hands and buried a few of my loved one, but I've never lost a husband, and trying to put myself in that position is working so well I am getting rather upset about it all. I've been talking to the widows in the family, expecially my cousin who was so young when her husbad died, and it really seems the more you are expecting it the easier it is. I wonder if it's because an illness debilitates the body to the point of not imagining them continuing, that a natural end is approaching, whereas a sudden accident, if it had been avoided, would have meant life would have sustained as normal?