Catching Idle Butterflies

Is it pride, arrogance, or mere honesty?

Why do so many of us have a difficult time expressing what we are best at, even to ourselves?

I think many things cause this.

Growing up, I made no secret of the things I knew I excelled at. I would tell anyone who listened, sometimes even when they didn’t.

The consequences were being accused of showing off, conceited even. My older sister told me to quit doing that once, because it made her feel stupid. Older sisters are supposed to be smarter, etc. than their younger siblings, you know. Whether it was true or not made no difference. I didn’t understand, but out of respect (and a twinge of fear), I quit “showing off” in front of her.

As I grew, still I was forced to hide, not my talents per se, but my proclaiming them. I had again been accused of being prideful, arrogant, and ambitious, as though ambition is a bad thing.

Then we heap on the requirement of all Christians to be humble.

We have reached near the end of the Disciple course, and the next lesson requires us to discover the other member’s talents as well as our own.

Discerning what other people do well can be the easy part. Discovering what our own are can be more difficult. As I said above, admitting it to ourselves, for the most part, is a difficult, almost impossible task. We think, “But if I think I’m good at something, I’m being prideful, and as a Christian, that is the wrong attitude.”

Top that off with admitting it to others even if we do know it for ourselves? Not a chance. “It’s bad enough I see myself as being arrogant, I’m not going to prove it to others and have them judge me accordingly,” we think.

How then are we supposed to use God’s gifts and refine the talents He gave us if we don’t even acknowledge we have them?

The answer is very simple. We give glory to God who gave them to us. Yes, we admit to ourselves and to others what we can do, just like we can safely tell people our eye and hair color. They are a part of us, and if we don’t use them like we use our hands and our voices, we squander them, rendering them useless.

I am learning this lesson, however slowly. WDC has helped in that area more than I could have imagined. I’m here because I want to improve, to grow. That can only happen if I place items in my portfolio (huge step that was! I pondered it for over a month before gaining the courage), and *gasp* place them in the Shameless Plug or Review Request forums, even going so far as to sponsor. You have no idea how difficult that was (never mind, I bet you do).

That little voice kept whispering, “You’re showing off! That’s not right! You should remain humble!”

But it’s like my mother says, I’m not showing me off, I’m placing on the stage words I’ve written because I believe they’re important enough for others to read.

If I don’t, what good are they?

All I can hope now is not only can I reveal the things I know I’m good at, but others in the class have the courage to do the same about themselves. We can’t go any further in being disciples if we don’t.