L'aura del Campo

Not so good day. Keeping track of goals.

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          SPRING: 15 'Azamát (31 May)          
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Weather where I am here and where Nada is there: 82º.
Weather in Missoula, Montana: 63º.
Weather in Cape Town, South Africa: 54º this evening.

10-20-30 Report:

I've kept track of my writing for perhaps two years. Just like someone who needs to lose weight (like me ), I do not check it everyday. Three times per month in ten day increments is enough! Tomorrow: Why set goals at all?

My Journal goal is 1 page/day.
My 'poem' goal is 2/day or 700/year.
My NEW blog goal is 21/month = 7/10days (every day is way too much).
My edited poems goal: 1/day.
Sensed/Images: 1/blog entry.

Journal:
May 10th, page 969
May 20th, page 977
May 30th, page 986

'Poems' (numbered from March 20th):
May 10th: #107 (goal=102) + 5
May 20th: #141 (goal=122) +19
May 30th: #169 (goal=142) +27

Blog:
May 10th: 10/10
May 20th: 10/10
May 30th: 9/10

Edited poems:
May 10th: 11
May 20th: 10
May 30th: 17

Images:
May 10th: 10/10
May 20th: 10/10
May 30th: 9/ 9

IMAGES

Heavy scent of linden; traffic hesitating (which way to turen, the road is blocked); hypericum (the pistols pointed like syringes, the golden crowns of anthers); honeybees; the bank says 85 degrees; a license plate from Alaska (second seen in two days).


These sketches from May 26th demonstrate that it wasn't the best of days. I was stressing from the car and other issues. Oh well, I've moved on to other things ...

Approaching fifty-five winters

I have lost weight slowly.
I have lost it all at once.

It's in the melt of flesh,
the flow of fat

that energy is found at last,
hiding in the muscles,

one spring left before
the autumn's blast. [163.158]

may's ableeding

my blood runs cold
the faucet's open
the drain is open too

blue flows through
once loved courses
bleeds from heart

touched by heat
your fingers
turn it red again [163.160]

Shaken

I fall into sleep,
disappointed that I'm still alive.

How could you know this taste of tears?
You who've never smelled salt-water,
never sailed the blue of sky,

to find your earthly home rejects you
like a common lie. [163.159]

Another bad blue day is over

Bad day again today. Very stressed out this morning. I was extremely upset for hours. Over nothing really. But 'nothing' overwhelms me when I feel threatened.

And I'm tired of being the "good boy". Been tired for years. It isn't fair to be treated like shit on the bottom of someone's shoe. I refuse to be so institutionalized or duped that I must obey others that lack authority over my life. I don't want to give them the power.

But I'm doing better this evening! Told some people they can keep their money. I'll help but I will not be abused.