A Daily Dose of Creativity

Procrastination

         I am a self-proclaimed procrastinator! Yes, there I have said it and I am very proud of it. I live by the seat of my pants and I do not panic when there is a deadline looming. NOT!
         Actually I dread deadlines. When my grandmother passed away, the pastor asked some of the grandchildren if we would like to say a few words. My brother agreed, somewhat hesitantly. Another cousin of mine, said, "Yes!" And I agreed, thinking perhaps that I could write something brilliant.
         The funeral was postponed as we had relatives out of town that were hard to get in touch with, but I thought, more time for me to plan my brilliant speech.
         The fact is, I tormented over that speech. I was so overwhelmed with grief and hurt, that every time I tried to sit down at the computer, words would not form.
         I walked outside one night and just cried, begging my grandmother for help with this one, I needed some inspiration. At church the next morning, I sat in the pew with my youngest son. They had asked if anyone had anything that they needed to pray about to come down front and someone would come pray with them.
         I wasn't going, even though inside, my heart was in so much pain. But my son, at 6 years of age, and the wisdom of a 79 year old man who had seen more in one lifetime, looked up and me and I swear, I saw my grandmother's eyes staring back at me, and he said, "Don't you think that you need to go down there and pray. I will be sitting right here waiting on you when you get back."
         I stood up, wandered down front, by now my grief welling up inside of me, the bitterness that I was holding on to regarding how my sister-in-law had jumped in and took over, everything poured out at once, and I was relieved.
         But the Lord showed me several things that day. He showed me that my sister-in-law is a born organizer, she is gifted in the area of administration. I am not. He showed me the heart and compassion of my son, and the way he is molding him to his glory. And he showed me that through her death, his glory would be made known.
         My mom and her sister, who was not speaking, made amends. My aunt went back home and became a born-again Christian, she found salvation through my grandmother's death. God's glory shown.
         I went home that day, sat down, and thoughts poured out onto the paper in ways I never knew I could write. It was a wonderful sentiment to my grandmother, and my brother said to me, as I sat down, "I'm glad I went first, because that is one tough act to follow." My cousin had to go after me. But writing is my passion and my gift.
         I hope to put that tribute to my grandmother up one day to share. Right now it is sitting in my sewing room among a group of pictures of my grandmother and grandfather awaiting to be scrapped into a memory album, so that my grandchildren will know them, just as I did.
         Sometimes procrastination is not just about dodging the deadline. Sometimes it is waiting for material to surface and guide you to your destiny.

My Hobbies' Home
Handmade by Martha
http://www.handmadebymartha.esmartdesign.com