A little something about nothing

Fear

Lately I have had this fear in me that something bad is going to happen...to me. I have always been a hypocondriac and fear cancer and heart attacks the most. I do go for my annual female exam regularly and started going for an annual physical last year. Each time I have been completely healthy.

It is really weird, as excited as I am about moving into my own place, it scares me at the same time. When I went to order my furniture I purposely got the credit protection on my financing and have found myself prolonging scheduling my appointment for my annual physical.

Deep down I want to believe I am fine, and think it may be partly because I have experienced so many losses this year, but what if? Maybe it has something to do with the fact I am supposed to go for my first mamogram this year.

Maybe it has nothing to do with health at all and I just don't believe I deserve everything to be working out so well for me. I am not sure, but I really wish it would go away!!!